Posted on 05/29/2014 11:16:22 AM PDT by nickcarraway
If you're married in Miami, you might want to get out of town this summer. No, not to avoid the hurricanes -- to avoid a nasty divorce.
A new report blames global warming for rising rates of infidelity, especially bad news for couples in Miami, where rising tides and raging hurricanes remind us all how much extracurricular sex we could be having on a daily basis.
See also: Rolling Stone Predicts Miami Will Be Underwater By 2030
Victoria Milan, a dating website for people looking to cheat on their significant other, surveyed 5,000 of its members, both men and women. A shocking 72% of them responded that yes, their own Al Gore-esque stress about unpredictable weather is the cause of their extra-marital dalliances. Guess the fact of their existing committed relationships was just an inconvenient truth.
Survey respondents also reported that they're more likely to sneak a little on the side in hot weather than in cold. That makes sense -- after all, which would you say is sexier, a steamy Miami day or a polar vortex?
"Summer loving is something everyone experiences when they're growing up, and the excitement and thrill of doing something a bit naughty never fades," explains Victoria Milan CEO and founder Sigurd Vedal in a statement. "It's no surprise that one half of a couple feels the itch when the weather warms up."
So let's recap: hot, unpredictable weather makes for unfaithful partners. Just when you thought your hope of finding true love in Miami had hit rock bottom, a story like this comes along to prove there's even farther to fall. But hey, we'll all be underwater in 15 years anyway, right?
I can’t wait to use this excuse.
I know a girl with two heads caused by global warming.
Honey, it wasn’t me. It was Global Warming that gave you the crabs!
I tripped over a curb this morning due to Global Warming.
They were surveying people on a website to help people cheat. They expected them to respond, I cheat because I’m a scumbag?
Cat had kittens. Global warming.
Don’t know about crabs, but will global warming bring more lobsters?
According to the Kinsey Report
Every average man you know
Much prefers his lovey dovey to court
When the temperature is low
But when the thermometer goes way up
And the weather is sizzling hot
Mr Pants for romance is not
Because it's too darn hot
-PJ
tagline
I can’t believe that the respectable media parrots the PR crap generated by these cheating dating websites.
if any of these freaks actually believed that the global warming hoax was real then why don’t they sell their seaside property?
global warming is a hoax democrats created to justify the existence and growth of government(socialism)
Bummer. Is that for real? I didn’t know that could happen much less survivable.
Very real. Google Abigail and Brittany Hensel.
The claim that there is such a thing as “global warming” is not necessarily invalid. The flawed argument is, “We have a global warming problem and, therefore, government must do whatever it has to do [more interference with individuals’ freedoms] to stop it.” It’s a flawed argument because it contains an unproven and flawed “stealth” presumption that man must be the cause of global warming.
The Left wants the debate kept at whether there’s global warming. We need to turn the debate away from that somewhat silly argument. The argument about scientific data and evidence of whether or not "global warming" exists can go on from now 'till Moses. (The Bible does indicate a warm-up and a rising sea in the last days.) It is really beside the point. The more the Right argues this wrong point, the sillier the Right potentially looks and the stronger this oft-unspoken presumption of man-made causes seems to get.
Instead, the Right needs to steer the debate to where the real point is: THE CAUSE. As there may be some debate about whether there’s global warming, there’s no real true, scientific debate that “man is causing global warming”. Arguments need to be advanced to first get this somewhat stealth presumption "out" into the open and then to defeat this Leftist excuse for more government tyranny over our lives. It should be fairly easy to win the debate over this really silly presumed notion.
I don’t get how they could marry two different men, which they plan to do at some point. They may have two separate brains and personalities, but they only have one set of reproductive organs.
I wonder about that, too.
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