Posted on 06/04/2014 2:17:09 AM PDT by markomalley
The US Secret Service wants to identify sarcastic tweeters from the serious in a bid that will surely cause its software to sink and buckle.
A tender issued by the security agency sought a way to determine sentiment, identify influencers and section off those exercising the lowest form of wit across the twitter sphere.
In what appears to reveal the agency's tight upgrade regime and security requirements, the Twitter trawler would need to be compatible with the dust-clad Internet Explorer 8, first released five years ago.
The agency also wants to geo-locate users based on tweets while displaying results in "user friendly" coloured charts.
Agency spokesman Ed Donovan told WaPo it would allow the service to identify security incidents, not just dimwit tweeters.
He said such a platform may have avoided the Purple Tunnel of Doom incident when up to 4000 ticket holders were stuck in the Third Street tunnel during 2009 Presidential inauguration.
The agency already uses the Federal Emergency Management Agency's Twitter analysis platform but the new system would be a step up.
More detail is available in the agency's work order which closes 9 June. ®
That sounds like a great plan.
I really do wonder what brilliant idea these geniuses will come up with next. What a wonderful use of our limitless resources at a time when money is plentiful and the country is more united than ever.
This is definitely shaping up to be the greatest administration ever.
I’m fine with this. Ding,Ding!
So, the people they’ve got checking out questionable posts are sarcasm-challenged to the point that software would be better at making such a determination than a human being? Are there a lot of Aspies in the SS or something?
Does the requirement for “sectioning off” and geolocation of influencers seem as if it would be ripe for abuse, above and beyond individuals making legitimate threats? Sounds potentially a little insidious to me. Other uses will be found for such a thing.
This is great!
I could use some lessons in sarcasm.
I am certain that the technological advances from the detection of sarcasm will lead to the rapid development of artificial intelligence that will be able to identify and destroy all enemies of The Administration and stamp out all evil chatter that could be seen as offensive to any in The Administration, especially Dear Leader.
Here’s a hint: assume anything I post on Twitter (or here, even) is sarcasm unless proven otherwise. Even this.
“Everything I post is false”
LOL...Great post
I understand why.
To help differentiate those who would threaten the President’s life in earnest, versus those who are wishing him harm without any intent to BRING that harm.
To my mind, this is actually a positive development.
You’d better put a /sarc on that post buddy, or some black suits gonna pay you a visit! (/sarc)
Better watch what you post. The SS will have an agent at your door post haste with his hand out looking for a donation.
Or...was that sarcasm?
Darn it all. I can never tell when you folks are kidding. Maybe there's an app for that.
I think those of us who are very sarcastic (and I can only aspire to Laz levels of sarcasm and satire) understand this move more than those who don’t typically employ that particular linguistic device.
Guess our sarc tag will now have to be “/ss” instead of “/s”.
The best sarcasm, is no sarcasm at all.
The biggest reason for “flame wars” is the inability to consistently discern the subtle meaning behind the words of email and postings to various types of internet sites. Good luck with trying to coax that ability out of mere software.
The funny thing is, I don't think this article is satire!
I agree. It’s hard enough for leftists to know satire from real statements, I doubt software can do it
This is about stifling dissent, not “clarifying” possibly inflammatory remarks.
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