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Keyword: sarcasm

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  • Another statue taken down in the middle of the night.(not really)

    08/21/2017 7:20:07 AM PDT · by red-dawg · 7 replies
    me
    Is this where it's all going?
  • Kerry's socialist theme song

    07/21/2004 12:26:25 AM PDT · by JohnHuang2 · 11 replies · 1,862+ views
    TownHall.com ^ | Wednesday, July 20, 2004 | by Terence Jeffrey
    I grew up in a family of 11 children in the days before SUVs. So we took our road trips in two-car caravans led by a steamy station wagon with crank-handle windows and hot vinyl upholstery. That wagon was always packed with obstreperous kids singing obnoxious songs. But one song we were emphatically discouraged from singing has now emerged as a theme song for John Kerry's presidential campaign. My father loved popular music and never ceased being interested in it. In the 1960s, he happily escorted my older sisters to see the Beatles. A decade later, he bought me tickets...
  • Send Dirt to Kiribati (Satire)

    06/02/2017 6:51:21 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 17 replies
    6/2/17 | RetiredTexasVet
    We need to mobilize Americans, school age to retirement age, to scoop up and send dirt to Kiribati. A cupful of dirt by each of the 330 million Americans can save Kiribati. As featured by the CBS Morning Show with the Arrogant Bunch (Bilderberg Rose, Nattering O'Donnell, and I'm Awake-Really King), the South Pacific island of Kiribati is in danger of being eradicated by Climate Change. Because the island is only six feet (approx 2 meters for you third worlders) above sea level the crisis is real and immediate. Although the sea level is rising by only a couple of...
  • NFL Stadium Sealed Off, Guarded. Fans w/o Legal Tickets Kept Out #NotMySuperBowl

    02/05/2017 11:01:37 AM PST · by SoFloFreeper · 53 replies
    2/5/17 | sff
    I cannot participate in watching the game today. I know the two teams have supporters and this is an American tradition of 50+ years...but I just heard from a friend that there is a very secure WALL around the playing field, and heavy security is there. Security is not allowing people who don't have a ticket to go inside! These people YEARN to watch the game... to spectate inside the walls... but the BIGOTS in the NFL are refusing. #NotMySuperBowl.
  • The Last Party (satire)

    01/04/2017 6:33:40 PM PST · by RetiredTexasVet · 1 replies
    1/4/17 | RetiredTexasVet
    The last party of the Obama Administration at the White House will be on the 17th of January 2017 with a wide variety of Hollywood, sports, entertainment, MSM, political, and other self-important elites. The idea for "The Last Party" came out of a statement by Moo in her interview with Oprah. Moo whined that since Trump had won the election, she knew what it was like to "have no hope". Oprah, thinking that the VP, Slow Joe Biden was part of the staff, ordered him to round up all the "H", "O", "P", and "E" keys from all the computers...
  • Obama - A Turd In The Punch Bowl (satire)

    12/27/2016 6:16:56 PM PST · by RetiredTexasVet · 3 replies
    12/27/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    As His Arrogance will soon leave office he had stated that he would stay in the DC area so his daughter could finish high school. In keeping with his past of psychopathic lying and deception, he will really remain in the DC area to form a group of whiny Progressive b!tches to oppose Trump. Previously, we had Carter periodically escape the attendants and offer the comments of a witless anti-Semitic fool on things which he had no understanding. Slick Willy, was at home banging bimbos until Benghazi ran for president. But Slick was so addled and ate up with syphilis...
  • CIA Leaks Proof Of Russian Hack (Satire)

    12/19/2016 6:17:49 PM PST · by RetiredTexasVet · 5 replies
    12/19/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    The CIA leaked proof of the Russian hack of the DNC and the Clinton Campaign. CNN's Wolf Blitzer released the breaking news this afternoon. Wolf stated that his third cousin, Coyote Blitzer, had learned of the details of the leak from prostitutes on 14th Street in DC who are frequented by CIA and Secret Service Agents. The CIA frequently uses prostitutes, both street and MSM, to leak stories. Coyote stated that the DNC and Clinton Campaign were both hacked with assistance from two Democratic operatives who had been turned. Robert (the Jackal) Creamer and Scott (the Poofer) Foval were turned...
  • Trump Wins - Business Goes To The Dogs (Satire)

    11/13/2016 6:43:32 PM PST · by RetiredTexasVet · 8 replies
    11/13/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    Because of the Trump win, there has been a surge in the business of dogs. The epidemic of emotional and mental collapse in the "snowflake" generation has caused this business uptick for emotional support puppies and dogs. Rex Barker, President of the Canine Breeders Society (CBS) stated that the demand for emotional support puppies and dogs (ESP/D) has greatly exceeded their ability to provide them to trainers. Rex stated that nature controlled their ability to produce the puppies and dogs to meet the demand in spite of Progressives accusations that they were holding out for higher prices. Duke Hounder, President...
  • Dead Woman Walking (vanity)

    10/30/2016 3:15:45 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 56 replies
    10/30/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    Huma A. Weiner, dead woman walking. Huma had learned that with the Clintons an insurance policy was a must. The 650,000 emails were her insurance policy and retirement income program. Unlike Vince Foster, who had stupidly stored his insurance in his office safe which was retrieved before his body was cold, Huma hid her insurance where no one would suspect .... on the laptop she shared with her perv part-time husband. Unfortunately for Huma, her idiot husband managed to screw something other than a 15 year old ... the rest of her life. Seems like Huma A. Weiner best "make...
  • Pope Francis Names Archbishop Cupich As His Successor [Humor/Sarcasm]

    10/22/2016 7:52:45 AM PDT · by ebb tide · 4 replies
    Eye of the Tiber ^ | October 11, 2016 | Admin
    The Vatican announced this week that Chicago Archbishop Blase Cupich has been selected to be Pope Francis’ successor after the 79-year-old pontiff hits the age of retirement next year. Cupich told worshipers yesterday that he was “so very grateful and humbled by the news that he would be given the opportunity to wreak havoc upon the Church while wearing white.” Cupich, 67, will receive his “white hat” in Rome on December 18, 2017, the day after Pope Francis turns 80. Cupich’s succession to the papacy also means he will have his choice of who will succeed him in the future....
  • CDC Warns Of U.S. Cholera Epidemic (Satire)

    10/21/2016 4:11:16 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 1 replies
    10/21/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    CDC director Tom Frieden warned today of a possible cholera epidemic in the U.S. Frieden had originally thought that the cholera was related to the Zika mosquitoes and limited to Florida but CDC investigators proved otherwise. CDC investigators identified hundreds of cholera cases in Illinois with Chicago being the center of the outbreak. Investigators determined that 40 Haitian men were bused in from Florida to vote. The Haitians were part of a program by the Obama Administration to accelerate the nationalization program for thousands of Haitian refugees before the election. It was determined that the men were promised by local...
  • SC Justice Sotomayor Expresses Regret (Satire)

    10/20/2016 6:12:51 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 9 replies
    10/20/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    Today, in an exclusive interview with Alt-Right investigative reporters, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor expressed her regret about the baseball bat statement concerning deceased SC Justice Antonin Scalia. She expressed regret that the Obama Administration had taken him out before she could get to him with her favorite custom made "Raptor" baseball bat. She had dreamt of the day she would catch him alone behind the Supreme Court where she would kneecap him first and then use Raptor to deliver the final killing blows when he begged for mercy. She stated that she had a visceral hate for him because...
  • WARNING AMERICA! TRUMP ISN'T PERFECT!

    10/07/2016 6:28:42 PM PDT · by pgyanke · 90 replies
    Vanity | 10/7/16 | pgyanke
    America just found out Trump isn't perfect. Wait... I thought we already knew that...?
  • Clinton Foundation Calls For Donations (Satire)

    10/02/2016 5:05:21 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 3 replies
    10/02/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    The Clinton Global Crime Initiative Foundation is calling for donations for the hurricane that will be hitting Haiti in near future. The hurricane is expected to be at least a Cat 4 which will produce a huge amount of damage and suffering which will provide an excellent fund raising opportunity. Bill and Chelsea are soliciting the donations for disaster relief in advance of the hurricane hitting the island to get a jump on the situation. Bill stated that the foundation had missed out on billions in donations in the last disaster to hit Haiti because the earthquake was unexpected. Other...
  • Where is Lester Holt? (Satire)

    09/25/2016 3:02:09 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 17 replies
    9/25/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    Where is Lester Holt? He has been missing from the NBC Evening News for over a week. Savanah Guppie has been ordered to fill in for the nightly news cast in his absence. Guppie fearfully stated that Holt was at home writing questions for the debate. Guppie would not elaborate because she was fearful that any unapproved response might subject her to the same PC crucifixion that had been visited upon her co-host Matt Liar. Alt-Right investigative reporters have learned from a source within the Clinton campaign staff that Holt is being covertly driven to the Clinton compound daily. The...
  • Mexico To Build The Wall (Satire)

    09/15/2016 4:56:56 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 2 replies
    9/15/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    Today the President of Mexico, Penis Nieto, stated that Mexico would build a wall ... not one, but two and they would pay for them validating Trump and punking Vicente Fox the has been former President of Mexico. One wall would be built on the Southern border to keep out the hordes of illegal immigrants from Ecuador, Honduras, Costa Rica, and other Southern 3rd world countries. Nieto described the influx like a plague of locusts economically devouring everything in their path. The second wall would be built on the Northern border to stem the tide of the projected million US...
  • Alt-Right Breitbart Punks 60 Minutes (Satire)

    09/13/2016 3:16:25 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 3 replies
    9/14/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    The Alt-Right Breitbart media today punked 60 Minutes, the self-acclaimed king of investigative reporting, by reporting the details of the Administration's 1.2 billion dollar payoff to Iran. Taunting Scott Pelley and Charlie Rose, Breitbart released the details of the investigation of the shady and illegal transfer of 1.2 billion dollars to Iran. Intrepid Breitbart reporters discovered that HSBC, the first choice laundromat of money laundering for cartels, foundations, etc., was used by the US Treasury to launder the money. Although Iran was alleged to not have a bank account, an Iranian account was miraculously discovered at Wells Fargo into which...
  • Hillary's Administration (satire)

    07/29/2016 1:58:59 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet
    7/29/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    Here's a quick look at the Hillary Clinton Administration. Missing for 16 years, dishes, silver and furnishings are discovered in the WH. Employees and guests will have to use port-a-potties located behind the WH because WH ground floor bathrooms have been converted to house WH E-mail servers. HSBC to be contracted to operate all of the WH laundry operations. AG LA Lynch's office moved to a refurbished C-130 on the tarmac of the Phoenix airport with a B of A branch office located within to support financial transactions. Goldman Sachs contracted to run the Treasury Department which will eliminate the...
  • Trump says 'of course I'm being sarcastic' with comment about Russian hackers

    07/28/2016 7:24:16 AM PDT · by COUNTrecount · 90 replies
    Daily Mail UK ^ | July 28, 2016 | David Martosko
    Trump says 'of course I'm being sarcastic' with comment about Russian hackers looking for Hillary's emails Republican nominee insists he was not being serious when he seemed to invite Russia to scour for 33,000 emails Hillary Clinton ordered deleted He had said Wednesday: 'Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing' Trump insisted Thursday that the Democratic Party's other email scandal – 20,000 hacked messages published by WikiLeaks – is the real story 'This is now an issue of national security,' said a breathless Robby Mook, who runs Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign...
  • My favorite RNC speeches so far ... (vanity / sarcasm)

    07/20/2016 10:23:03 AM PDT · by fishtank · 11 replies
    here ^ | 7-20-16 | fishtank
    Here's my favorite speeches so far from the RNC convention: Mitt Romney (I'd pick Ryan again - and again) George W. Bush (I gave Barry the best intro I could!) George HW Bush (Ha! Fooled you twice! - None of us Bushes would EVER be like Reagan!) John McCain (Hillary is a nice woman - just like Barry is a nice man)