Posted on 06/05/2014 10:20:51 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
Charlie, is that you?
“I am looking for my big brake.”
~Midas
“My 3 biggest hobbies are cars, golf, racquetball, and reading.”
~Accounting Firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe
“Work experience: Academic tudor.”
~Ren Faire Worker
I had a person apply as a medical assistant in my office listing
“Blood Boner Pathogens OSHA”
as one of her Educational certificates attained
And just below it “ Typing Certificate Obtained”
How can that be with so many available candidates (unemployed people) out there? I thought the more unemployed there are, businesses could pick and choose and also pay less. Laziness?
Not that I know of :-)
While it wasn’t in writing, I was once interviewing a candidate and the interview turned to his personal qualities. He seemed a bit cocky and arrogant and I asked if he could laugh at himself. He assured me he had a great sense of, “self-defecating,” humor.
I think that’s pretty much it.
But these are definitely candidates for Resumania by Robert Half. His collections of unintentionally funny resumes and cover letters were so funny I almost wet my pants.
We’ve all heard that the people on the other side of the counter, be it HR people or hiring managers, or the bosses themselves at tiny businesses, spend very little time on candidate resumes. Perhaps this is true even when they end up hiring the person sometimes. I’ve definitely worked with some people who were barely literate. It didnt mean they were stupid in all cases. In some it did.
I’d be curious to hear from any business owners out there who have looked through resumes and applications and your general impressions.
“HR putzes don’t read resumes these days. They filter them for keywords.”
I don’t let HR use their Taleo product to filter resumes for me. If I am posting a position, I ask for every resume, even if there are 100 of them for one position.
Here are my simple rules:
1- Be truthful. If you are not, I will know and play “stump the chump” with you.
2- Spell every word correctly. DON’T use spellcheck. Confusing “There and Their” will eliminate you from contention.
3- And finally, your resume is a reflection of you. Make every word count. If you write a sentence that is 25-30 words, see how you can cut it to 15-20. Use the real estate on the page wisely.
If its Ivy League, well be happy to repudiate it right here for you on FR.
Welcome to the Old Farts’ Critical Thinking Club!!! GMTA!!
I’ve considered being an adjunct at the local community college and I’m afraid I might be gone before the end of the first semester for exactly the situation you described.
How about email address? There’s a story out there that aol or yahoo email makes you look old or unhip so you should change to gmail to look more cool. I’ve been a little disgusted with yahoo and thinking of changing to Reagan.com myself.
Yep, that too.
Call a corpseman.
Was his name Hannibal? Did you wear ketchup as perfume?
A recent resume sent to me had the candidates current employer email address. I still use AOL on my resume. It is usually a conversation starter.
It’s an Ivory League school!
One of my personal favorites was the candidate who had bullet points of their qualities and listed “attention to detail” twice, four bullet points apart.
Or currently if they have a degree from Rutgers. That would raise a major flag.
How about the Taleo personality test? What do you think of those?
I always groan when I see a personality test in the hiring process because it means I won’t get an interview. Never once have I gotten an interview after taking a personality test.
The worst was flunking a computerized personality test at Value Village and not being allowed to continue with the hiring process. That was some years ago and they’ve stopped doing it.
According to Gavin deBecker, the original reason for these damn personality tests was to screen out people who who might go postal. And I realize that stealing is a big problem and they have to screen out people who steal, well, steal a lot, anyway. Pardon my bitterness—Ive really been put through the wringer by some of these people.
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