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30 Signs That You’re One of Those “Crazy Preppers”
SHTF Plan ^ | 6/24/14 | Daisy Luther

Posted on 06/24/2014 6:42:03 PM PDT by Kartographer

Here are the top 30 signs, should you ever be the subject of a nationwide manhunt, that you too will be considered a “Crazy Prepper on the Loose“:

1. Pantries are so mainstream…you have food stashed in strange places in every room of the house.

2. You have enough toilet paper to get through a year of uncomfortable digestive upsets…occurring with 6 people simultaneously Speaking of which, you possess at least 3 different ways to use the bathroom, only one of which is an actual bathroom.

3.Your kids know what OPSEC means…at the age of 4.

4. You have topographical maps of your area…plural.

5. When you’re forced to interact with “the others” you feel like you are awkwardly censoring your true opinions

6. You think nothing of treating an injury or illness yourself because “what if there was no doctor?”

(Excerpt) Read more at shtfplan.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: preparedness; preppers
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Some funny, but true stuff here.
1 posted on 06/24/2014 6:42:03 PM PDT by Kartographer
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To: appalachian_dweller; OldPossum; DuncanWaring; VirginiaMom; CodeToad; goosie; kalee; ...

Preppers’ PING!!


2 posted on 06/24/2014 6:42:38 PM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: Kartographer

Well, that’s a relief! At least four of those aren’t true in my case. I’m not one of you crazy preppers, nosiree, not me. BTT


3 posted on 06/24/2014 6:46:54 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Kartographer

haha yes, very true on most points!


4 posted on 06/24/2014 6:48:09 PM PDT by eXe (Si vis pacem, para bellum)
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To: Kartographer

I’m afraid to read the rest of them. I want to be the last to know I’m crazy.


5 posted on 06/24/2014 6:53:08 PM PDT by MaxMax (Pay Attention and you'll be pissed off too! FIRE BOEHNER, NOW!)
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To: Kartographer

Bump.


6 posted on 06/24/2014 6:56:06 PM PDT by 4Liberty (Optimal institutions - optimal economy.)
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To: Kartographer

I need more toilet paper to qualify!


7 posted on 06/24/2014 6:56:10 PM PDT by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: Kartographer

#28 has to be finished:

28. Your children carry a modified bug-out kit in their school backpacks. [. . . AND THEY’RE HOME-SCHOOLED!}


8 posted on 06/24/2014 6:56:16 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("If you're litigating against nuns, you've probably done something wrong."-Ted Cruz)
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To: Kartographer

31. Your hot water heater and toilet tanks are your emergency source of potable water - think over 50 gallons.


9 posted on 06/24/2014 7:00:40 PM PDT by A Navy Vet (An Oath is Forever)
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To: Kartographer

The further society drifts from the truth the more it will hate those who speak it. – George Orwell


10 posted on 06/24/2014 7:03:23 PM PDT by B4Ranch (Name your illness, do a Google & YouTube search with "hydrogen peroxide". Do it and be surprised.)
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To: Kartographer

Crazy like those Founding Fathers, right?


11 posted on 06/24/2014 7:05:04 PM PDT by Jane Long ("And when thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek")
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To: Kartographer

Items 25 and 26 are SOP here in India, and item 2 doesn’t apply because here most people (at least the ones who have toilets in the house) use a hand-shower to clean themselves (which is actually healthier than TP anyway).

And nummber 30 ought to be SOP for everyone, prepper or not.


12 posted on 06/24/2014 7:14:59 PM PDT by Little Pig
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To: Kartographer

31. It makes your day when you stumble across a few thousand rounds of ammo you had forgotten about.


13 posted on 06/24/2014 7:19:28 PM PDT by FreeInWV (Have you had enough change yet?)
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To: Kartographer

Crazy Preppers ?
,,,
I thought it had something to do with
shooting porno.


14 posted on 06/24/2014 7:20:36 PM PDT by Big Red Badger ( - William Diamonds Drum - can You Hear it G man?)
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To: Kartographer

Fun to read and yes I fit in so many ways!


15 posted on 06/24/2014 7:26:28 PM PDT by 3D-JOY
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To: Kartographer

Cute. We need more TP. :-)


16 posted on 06/24/2014 7:27:32 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose o f a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: Kartographer

Do you have a prepper ping list?
If so, please add me to it, thanks!


17 posted on 06/24/2014 7:34:49 PM PDT by FBD
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To: Kartographer

I only got 12 out of 30.

1)No, but we do have 3 Freezers and 2 refrigerators and food in the garage.
2)No, 2 month supply of TP,
3)Yes, toilet, bedside toilet, outside behind the tree, could build an out-house.
4)No OPSEC?
5)Yes, maps but not bought for prepping purposes.
6) No, speak my mind,
7) Yes, but I don’t shun doctors
8) No, Never played paint ball, ruled at laser tag.
9) Yes, but usually go grid.
10) Yes, but who doesn’t have more manual tools?
11) No, I’ll be behind the curve on clothes washing.
12) Yes, But I need to spend more time with them at the range.
13) Yes, I often think it would be nice to have a well or spring, just in case, and I do have some rain barrels.
14) No, Case of pasta sauce and some large storage bags of pasta can get us through a month or so.
15) No, but I did buy a 10’ greenhouse a raised garden table and a water hose timer this summer. I don’t have time to till a garden, but would like an automatic supply of food. (Stuff like that is why I’m building a robot.)
16)No, but again I do have rain barrels.
17)Yes, or at least getting that way.
18)Yes, well I’m a freeper, aren’t we all on that list?
19)Yes, CNN? ROFLMAO
20)No,
21)Yes, well some of that OTC stuff is expired in the 90’s but you know it’s still good.
22)No, I choose to believe good cops outnumber bad cops. I just hope the bad ones don’t shoot my dog.
23)Sadly no. I’m good for a dozen or two home invaders though.
24)No, but we do need to go to the range.
25)Yes, candles good.
26)No, I give kudos to our electric company, haven’t had an outage more than a day since I can remember.
27)No, they’d think I was a robot freak not a prepper. Prepping is hard work and I’ll need some help.
28) No, but my son will become an eagle scout soon and before they are required to wear pink.
29)No, but I’d like to know how so I can teach the robot when it’s finished.
30)No, we’d call 911 if time permits and the dog is hidden away.


18 posted on 06/24/2014 7:35:51 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Big Red Badger
I thought it had something to do with shooting porno.

PREPPERS_CONFUSED_WITH_FLUFFERS_PING!

19 posted on 06/24/2014 7:45:49 PM PDT by The Duke ("Forgiveness is between them and God, it's my job to arrange the meeting.")
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To: Kartographer

)25. I just fire up the generator. Lighting candles is a good way to burn your house down.


20 posted on 06/24/2014 7:55:01 PM PDT by SVTCobra03 (You can never have enough friends, horsepower or ammunition.)
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To: Kartographer

We have enough TP to last a lifetime for a man. Probably about six weeks with three women in the household.


21 posted on 06/24/2014 7:59:54 PM PDT by Vermont Lt (If you want to keep your dignity, you can keep it. Period........ Just kidding, you can't keep it.)
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To: B4Ranch

Great quote.


22 posted on 06/24/2014 8:08:25 PM PDT by killermosquito (Buffalo, Detroit (and eventually France) is what you get when liberalism runs its course.)
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To: Kartographer

hmm


23 posted on 06/24/2014 8:23:26 PM PDT by CPT Clay (Follow me on Twitter @Clay N TX)
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To: A Navy Vet

Yep


24 posted on 06/24/2014 8:24:18 PM PDT by CPT Clay (Follow me on Twitter @Clay N TX)
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To: Kartographer

Guilty


25 posted on 06/24/2014 8:24:31 PM PDT by CPT Clay (Follow me on Twitter @Clay N TX)
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To: Kartographer

#41 - You can explain to your neighbor what the ‘Cloward Piven Strategy’ is ...


26 posted on 06/24/2014 8:59:49 PM PDT by 11th_VA (Decriminalize Tax Evasion)
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To: Kartographer

2 1/2. Real preppers use shelled corn cobs.


27 posted on 06/24/2014 9:05:10 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: all armed conservatives)
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To: Kartographer

I don’t have topo maps of the area around my home. How embarrassing!

(But I will fix the problem...)


28 posted on 06/24/2014 9:20:49 PM PDT by EternalHope (Something wicked this way comes. Be ready.)
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To: dynachrome; Kartographer
I need more toilet paper to qualify!

Same here. Most others are covered very well.

29 posted on 06/24/2014 9:42:55 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Kartographer

#42: Your first reaction upon being told that you need a hysterectomy is relief. That cuts out a third of the stuff you needed to stock up on!

(Actually, that was my first thought when the doc told me. I had been debating whether to get a mooncup or not. Problem solved!)


30 posted on 06/24/2014 9:44:06 PM PDT by Ellendra ("Laws were most numerous when the Commonwealth was most corrupt." -Tacitus)
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To: dynachrome

I used to laugh at my granny who had over 600 rolls of tp. Now, I wish I hadn’t eliminated those closets when I remodeled the old family home.


31 posted on 06/24/2014 9:46:23 PM PDT by bgill
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To: Dr. Sivana

Those old school backpacks can be repurposed for bug out bags for those who can’t carry those huge combat ready ones.


32 posted on 06/24/2014 9:49:15 PM PDT by bgill
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To: Kartographer

My bad.
I have some stuff that may be out of date though - red feather butter. I think it’s four years old and four or five cans have slight dents. I got em on special because of the dents. Some organic whole powered egg and organic jerky too. That has short shelf lives. I am a freak about shelf life.
And I’m a gitten low on TP.
I don’t hate on medical Dr.s either, but I do like herbals when appropriate and effective.
Really though - I can’t do without butter. I WILL stockpile butter. I live in fear of having no butter.


33 posted on 06/24/2014 9:50:48 PM PDT by Ladysforest
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To: A Navy Vet

16 is wrong. Any crazy prepper would already be moved onto property that has fresh water source.


34 posted on 06/24/2014 9:52:05 PM PDT by bgill
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To: Vermont Lt

Three women? Let me guess when its time for tampons you buy the giant economy pack fro Costo the one you have to strap to the roof because it won’t fit inside the car. ;-)


35 posted on 06/24/2014 9:52:27 PM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: Kartographer
When house hunting you look for multiple heat and water sources.

Currently house hunting. Oh yeah, guilty as charged.

36 posted on 06/24/2014 10:53:06 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Proud Infidel, Gun Nut, Religious Fanatic and Freedom Fiend)
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To: Kartographer
You could sink a ship with the weight of your stored ammo.

That may explain all the boating accidents.

37 posted on 06/25/2014 3:43:26 AM PDT by Pollster1 ("Shall not be infringed" is unambiguous.)
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To: dynachrome

I was going to get rid of my 40+ years of accumulated paperback books and other books and magazines until I had an epiphany that they will serve quite nicely as TP if necessary.


38 posted on 06/25/2014 3:45:57 AM PDT by MagnoliaB
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To: DannyTN

OPSEC is Operational Security, BTW. ;-P


39 posted on 06/25/2014 4:07:51 AM PDT by MortMan ("Homeland" may be a documentary.)
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To: Kartographer; JRandomFreeper; Old Sarge

Or, for a major step up in prepping, you can become engaged to be married to an earth physicist/geologist who can also lift heavy objects, and move in his house which is a short walking distance from a lake. That’s what I just did.


40 posted on 06/25/2014 8:09:49 AM PDT by Marcella (Prepping can save your life today. Going Galt is freedom.)
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To: Marcella; Old Sarge; JRandomFreeper; Lazamataz

CONGRATS Marcella!!!!!

Laz,

You missed out!


41 posted on 06/25/2014 8:20:11 AM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: MagnoliaB

Grown kiddo came Sunday to get some of her stuff out of her old room and was headed to the trash with a box of paperbacks. I saved them for emergency reading but the tp idea is even better.

I’d already saved sonny boy’s beginner bow and arrows, just in case.

Yesterday, I saw a homemade sign on the corner that read, “Deport Obama”.


42 posted on 06/25/2014 10:00:15 AM PDT by bgill
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To: Marcella

Congrats to you!

I just snagged me a handsome Farmer who hunts, complete with 160 acres, a tractor, a Bobcat and a deep, clean well.

Life Is Good...and Gettin’ Gooder, LOL! :)


43 posted on 06/25/2014 10:05:27 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Kartographer; All

No comment......OPSEC RULES!!


44 posted on 06/25/2014 12:11:04 PM PDT by TMSuchman (John 15;13 & Exodus 21:22-25 Pacem Bello Pastoribus Canes [shepard of peace,dogs of war])
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To: Kartographer

The UPS man is starting to ask questions.


45 posted on 06/25/2014 4:41:04 PM PDT by Starstruck (If my reply offends, you probably don't understand sarcasm or criticism...or do.)
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To: Ladysforest

You can can butter! Go to Backwoods Home magazine online, and see Jackie Clay’s blog on the site. I have her gardening/canning book.

My freezer is filled with butter, but what happens if power is lost and the generator is dry? ;)

Beef sales lately. Canned. Ground sausage sale. Canned. Butter sale, still need to go down to town for it... and more jars. Dehydrator is going, filled with the season’s first harvest of kale and spinach. Over a gallon of strawberries picked and ready to be made into jam.

We do need more toi-dy paper.... laughing...


46 posted on 06/25/2014 9:10:59 PM PDT by hearthwench (Debbi - Mom, NaNa, and always ornery)
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To: Marcella
{{{{{{{ MARCELLA! }}}}}}}

That's the best surprise news I've had in a long time!!

47 posted on 06/26/2014 10:56:48 AM PDT by Old Sarge (TINVOWOOT: There Is No Voting Our Way Out Of This)
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To: hearthwench

Dried kale? I must mention that to my husband,he grew kale for the first time this year.


48 posted on 06/26/2014 2:55:07 PM PDT by Ladysforest
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To: Billthedrill; Kartographer

I am so relieved. Looking at the list, I have lots of stuff on the list but just not near enough to be crazy - yet..


49 posted on 06/27/2014 9:04:24 PM PDT by greeneyes (Moderation in defense of your country is NO virtue. Let Freedom Ring.)
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To: A Navy Vet

Well, now we of course count the water heater and toilet tank. That ain’t zackly news to people in tornado alley. We also drain the lines in to gallon jars as soon as the electric shuts off.

We also have 25 gallons of bottled water. About 3000 gallons in a swimming pool with 4000 gallon capacity, and 300 gallons in rain barrels which we use to water the garden. Have several water filtration systems and extra filters to use.

All in addition to our well. We have the ability to use a generator to run the pump, and if all else fails a rocket bucket for manual useage. Ten minutes away we have 20 acres and a creek.

A person can only live about 3 days with out water, so water is a biggee on our list of stuff to have on hand for emergencies.


50 posted on 06/27/2014 9:13:15 PM PDT by greeneyes (Moderation in defense of your country is NO virtue. Let Freedom Ring.)
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