J.
One of the tenant’s of AA is that you need to take care of yourself first. I recently celebrated three years sober last Sunday. Prior to that I hadn’t had a drink for a year. My life didn’t improve until I started going to AA.
You have to become a non-drinker, someone who doesn’t drink.
Playing the game of someone trying to quit, is a path to repeatedly finding reasons to fall off the wagon.
There will always be a reason to fall off the wagon, every few years something truly catastrophic befalls us, a child dying, a parent dying, or even losing our job, losing the transmission on the car and our husband leaving, all in the same month, one has to decided that they are no longer a drinker, so that there can be no drinking to fall back on.
I am probably the last man on earth to try to give someone advice. However, my suggestion is, go to the nearest church and ask for help. Priest preacher or rabbi, I don’t think it matters. Then have a long talk with the Lord.
Good luck and God bless.
My advice would be to get involved in things that focus your attention outside yourself. Church, charity work. See if you can do some of your editorial work for a local church, even for free. Get busy, and shun being inactive.
1. Visit your medical doctor and be assessed for depression. You may be self medicating with alcohol.
2. Do not blame yourself and do not blame your husband for the circumstances you are both in. He is caught in the spiral too.
3. Get to a counselor to help you untangle the causes of your behavior and to work on them with you. Pay for it if you must because it can save your life and your marriage.
4. Don’t stop trying to get better, even if you have a set back. Get up and go at it again. Millions have quit drinking. Many of them have had to take a few tries to quit completely. You can only get there if you keep trying.
There are a lot of good groups around if you really want to quit. Find one which fits your style and join. Your local AA chapter is a great place to start, but if that isn't your cup of tea, many caring Christian churches offer similar programs which can be equally or even more effective.
Unless you are an exceptionally strong and religious person, it is a difficult thing to do alone. There is no shame in seeking out one of these groups and asking for help. You don't even have to have a serious problem with alcohol to do it. I went because I feared I was going in that direction and didn't want to.
Blah..blah.blahblahblah..Quit drinking. Find your local AA and ALANON. If you can’t do that, don’t bother posting.
Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer, you just don’t like it.
You know the answer. It’s displayed in your words. You just need to see it.
I was going to chide your for what sounded like lack of appreciation for your husband. I’ll hold my tongue, though, and urge you to get help, for your sake and for the sake of your man and your kids.
I’ve never had the problem as badly as you (I can have the occasional wine or beer without getting drunk), but I found that when I rediscovered my favourite hobbies and spent more time with non-drinking friends, my alcohol consumption plummeted. It is unfortunate that your husband is not more supportive, because nothing helps more than friends and family.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEdSqlxa7Hg
developing inner power, this may help you. You have to start feeling good about yourself first and foremost.
"You have to become a non-drinker, someone who doesn’t drink.....
Praying for you Julie!
Giving up nicotine was very tough for me. You decide you don’t need it, and you put it down.
Quitting’s easy. We’ve all quit some things several times. Tell yourself this is the last drink (cigarette) you’ll have, then quit for the last time.
All I can advise about is my experience. My brother went through an AA experience and it really helped him. Even if you are not an alcoholic, it really really helped the rest of the family as we went through the program, too.
God bless you as you seek to work through the issues in your life.
To quit you gotta want to quit.
If you don't buy it you won't drink it.
Think of the effect you are having on your children.
You have to be the best example you can for them.
I have known people who have dealt with this in different ways. The important part is just not picking up a drink. You are the only one who can do that.
I believe that acknowledging the issue is the first step. Sounds cliche, I know, but it is true. I know of someone who has real problems with alcohol and just does not admit it. It is tough to watch.
I wish you the very best and agree with most of the previous posts.
One bleary morning many years ago, knowing I needed help, I went to the phone book, looked up the number for AA, and made the call. I found where a meeting would be held that evening, went to it, found a whole bunch of people who’d travelled the same road I was on, and my life began to change. Make the call. There is a wonderful world out there to be found if you go through that door. God bless.