Had a negligent discharge once.
Had to marry her.
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, the wife notices a tear in his eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, “No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he’d have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn’t marry you. Tomorrow I would’ve been a free man!”