Prayers up for your dad Leslie. Been through this twice with my parents. They both had at home hospice. Advanced found to late Lung Cancer.
Find out if you father has a Living Will and a DNR. You are bound by those factors. He should at least be on a IV for dehydration, and a feeding tube if he has permitted it. No one should die that way. It is what they did to Terry Shivo.
Pain med at the least amount, but know pain meds tend to shut the bowels down. With him not eating stool softeners are a necessity or Miralax if you can get him to take it. Be sure you choose the Hospice wisely some will assist with a OD of pain med if patient lingers to long.
Spending time with him and giving your sister a break is the best present you can give to them, keep telling him how much he is loved and you’d like to have him here as long as you can. That he is not a burden to any one, but a blessing in your lives. That he’d be horribly missed if he left you. Be sure all the grands tell him too.
In Christ we ask for healing and peace, Amen.
My Dad died this year at age 90.
He had a good life and I feel he is with the Lord.
I visited a good friend in a hospice the day before he died.
I helped him write his last letter to the editor about political corruption in our community. We recalled the Mayor.
May God’s Peace be with him and your family.
Lost my FIL three weeks ago due to complications of dementia
You must speak to the medical staff to understand hospice- it’s one of the most compassionate and medically sound programs - not a program to drug up your loved one. But pain medication may be needed to relieve pain!
I send prayers for all of you.
There just are no real answers and it seems everything is in a huge grey area. You wish that is was mercifully over quickly but it doesn’t work that way.
Morphine cuts out the pain a dying person suffers and also eventually does in the patient. With my precious mom, she had incurable cancer and was hurting badly. We put her on morphine knowing the morphine would end up aiding her death. But it was better than the great suffering she endured w/o morphine. This is the grey area you speak of.
Doctor said Hospice my Sister said no so she went to a nursing home.She was dying from cancer but her mind was sharp.I honored her wishes and when she asked for hospice she was dead in 12 hours.At that point she could no longer talk so when she would wake up she would just put her hands together in prayers and so we continued to pray.Prayers for your Family.
Prayers Up, God Bless.
Update:
My Father died in his sleep Thursday morning very early. Peacefully I hope.
We had made the decision a few days earlier to increase the dosage of his Fentanyl patch and pull the morphine shots as they were such shock to his system with his very weakened heart situation.
That seemed to smooth things out and we no longer heard his terrible moaning, which I surmised was him in such terrible pain.
Mercifully he has passed on and at 93 he had a great run and a great life. Thanks to all that shared their stories with me, it really helped me and made a difference. God Bless you all.