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Top 20, maybe? Anyway, reporting for duty.

h/t Code Toad

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

Look at the three following pics and then answer the legal questions below.

Legal questions prompted by the pics:

1. Is this statuetory rape?

2. Or is it just a moosedemeanor?

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.

The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life."

He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of there."

Fight like a girl:

Finally:

Let us pray...
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

Three generations of men were waiting to tee off when the starter walked up to them and said, “You see that beautiful blonde practicing her putting?”

“Her? Wow, she is beautiful,” they all said.

“She’s a good golfer,” he continued, “and would like to hook up with a group. None of the other groups will play with a woman. Can she play with you? She won’t hold you up, I promise.” They looked at each other and said, “Sure! She can join us.” Just as the starter said, the woman played well and kept up. Plus, they kept noticing, she was very attractive.

When they reached the 18th hole, she said that if she sank her 18-footer, she’d break 80 for the first time. “Guys, I’m so excited about breaking 80 that I have to tell you something. I had a great time playing with you. I can tell you all really love golf. I want you to know that I’m single and would love to be with any one of you. If one of you guys can read this putt correctly and I make it, we’ll have the greatest night of sex of all times.

All three jumped at the opportunity. The grandson looked over the putt and said, “I see it breaking 10 inches left to right.” The father looked it over from all sides and said, “No, I see it breaking eight inches right to left.”

The grandfather looked at the woman, looked at the ball, and said, “Pick it up. It’s good!”

Re: “Aren’t there any good side effects?”
Answer: Yes. Viagara was intended to be a heart medication.

(And as every parent knows, diphenydramine (Benedryl, etc.) is for colds; the fact that it knocks the kid out so he — and you — can rest is just a bonus.)

Re the Trump Making America Great Again appointees/nominees - as Haley Osmont would say, “I SEE DIVERSITY”.