Posted on 09/29/2017 7:17:35 PM PDT by BJ1
Economist Marina Adshade is the author of The Love Market: What You Need To Know About How We Date, Mate And Marry. She teaches at the University of British Columbia’s Vancouver School of Economics.
Jezebel, the women-focused website with a penchant for feminism and cute animals, recently declared the beginning of a new era with the eye-catching headline: “New Trend: Men Wanting Babies, Women Wanting Freedom”. The article, and a similar one in New York Magazine, proclaims an end to supposedly long-standing paradigm in which maternally driven women have been forcing men into reluctant fatherhood. Men, apparently, are now the ones pushing for children.
Their story goes something like this. Back when women did all the work raising children and caring for the home, women wanted to have children, but men did not. Now that men are taking on a greater share of the workload at home, men want to have children, but women do not. In summary, the anticipation of more work is making men eager to become fathers and the anticipation of less work is making women more reluctant.
Perhaps that is not quite their argument, but it does hinge heavily on the relative contribution women make to childrearing, which, in reality, has only decreased over time.
This argument of a gender reversal in the willingness to have children is shakily supported by an anecdote about a married couple in which he is keen to have children, and she is still trying to decide, and a 2011 Match.com study of singles over the age of 21 which found that more men who had no children under the age of 18 living at home said they wanted to have children (24 per cent) than did single women with no children at home (18 per cent).
It seems to me, however, that if you want to proclaim a new trend, you should be relying on something a little more substantial than “conventional wisdom” from the past. And the evidence from the past suggests that there is absolutely nothing new about men being more eager to have children than women.
The Statistics Canada General Social Survey of the family has been asking Canadian men and women about their fertility intentions for decades with this question, “How many children do you plan to have, including the ones that have already been born or you are expecting at this time?”
When this question was first asked in 1990, more women than men expressed a disinterest in having children. Among childless men and women between the ages of 15 and 44, 15 per cent of women said they had no desire to have children in the future compared to only 10 per cent of men. Additionally, more men than women expressed a desire to have children in every age group and regardless of whether they were married, single, cohabitating, or divorced.
As expected, the share of women who wish to remain childless has increased over time, up to 23 per cent in 2011, but contrary what we are being told, the share of men who wish to remain childless has increased by even more, almost doubling to 19 per cent.
While the media seems fixated on women who are choosing to forgo motherhood, the trend in men is much more interesting. It seems that in an era in which women are making a bigger contribution to the household income, and in which men are expected to dedicate more hours to parenting, men are responding by acting more like women: they are willing to forgo parenthood all together.
Back in 1990, Canadian women out-earned their husbands in only one in five marriages in which both the husband and wife worked. Today, the share of those marriages in which the wife earns more than her husband has climbed to almost one in three. Economic theory predicts that when dividing the responsibility for childcare, the parent who has the lowest income should be the one who reduces their work hours when that is necessary. Relative to the past, today that person is more frequently the father and some men, like some women, are choosing not to make that sacrifice.
There is no new trend in which men want babies. Men have always wanted babies as long as women were willing to make all the sacrifices. Now that those sacrifices are more evenly shared between parents, no one should be surprised to learn that fewer men now want to have children.
Actually it’s the process of making babies that men want more of.
women who don’t want to procreate use jargon like “men feel it’s necessary to pass their genes on” or even call babies “crotch droppings”.
And then they wonder why they can’t find someone to spend eternity it (outside of ever dying fur babies).
How many stories like this have been posted in the last few months? They all seem to have the same theme.
“Oh woe is super smart me, a man will not commit and marry me.”
Well most of them who choose to do it do it more than once. Sorry. I’ve watched it up close and personal several times. I’d never denigrate a woman’s ability to handle pain.
My wife had 3 children from a previous marriage, ages 12-5. I wanted one of my own, and she gave me what i wanted (after the stepkids were grown and out of the house of course).
I don’t regret it....but i’m done.
Good for you and I didn’t degenerate anything.
You know there’s been more than one study this century that should have put the old wives tale to rest.
Here’s an excerpt from one of those studies:
“One example of this is the different strategies men and women use to cope with pain. Whilst women tend to focus on the emotional aspects of pain they experience, men tend to focus on the sensory aspects, for example concentrating on the physical sensations they experience.
“Our research has shown that whilst the sensory-focused strategies used by men helped increase their pain threshold and tolerance of pain, it was unlikely to have any benefit for women,” said Dr Keogh.
“Women who concentrate on the emotional aspects of their pain may actually experience more pain as a result, possibly because the emotions associated with pain are negative.” “
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/07/050705004113.htm
Anthony Weiner did...
So does Hillary’s boy Pedosta...
When my wife was giving birth 4 times, i wish i could have said “Relax. You’re focusing on the emotional aspect of the pain. That will make it worse.” Yeah, that would have REALLY gone over well. :)
I’m trying to recall the details, it’s been awhile since I read about the study, but it’s not that women endure all pain better than men. They endure the long lasting but less intense pain better. Men could push through intense, short term pain better. Women could endure pain (holding hand in ice water ) longer.
All I know is that I was pretty tough (for a woman) before I had kids. I was a college athlete-I worked so hard that I passed out during a practice and after a race. I was very familiar with physically grueling activities. I completely was unprepared for the pain of contractions in labor. Oh my goodness. It remains the most painful experience of my life and I once torea hamstring during a 100 dash. I wanted to pass out! With the fourth and sixth babies I had an epidural (fifth was a section). Woohoo! Praise the Lord for modern medicine.
>> Do you guys think this is true?
Of course. It takes her 9 months for the yield I can sow in less than 5 minutes.
Go to work with a bad period and then let us know.
Women are made to have the children...men are not.
Women (females) have been birthing the young for eons, and eons. It’s a natural part of life, and, it’s what gave us all, “life”.
No doubt that it’s painful as hell, but that’s the process.
Men have no way to actually experience that sort of pain. But, by the basic nature of the species (no matter what species) it’s the way it is. I would have gladly born the wife’s pain when my two kids were born, but there just wasn’t any way that is possible.
Having said that, I’ve often seen women keep their children on a life-long “guilt trip” for the “pain” they caused being born. The uttering of a totally self-centered, and immature female. Mothers scaring their daughters about the pain of childbirth probably contribute to the number of abortions, to sidestep the “pain”.
Women know the possible outcome when they “assume the position”. This, “look at what you did to me” crap, is just that, CRAP. Women who follow that meme should just get a hysterectomy as soon as they reach puberty, and, “wah-lah”, there will be no worries.
Most mature, and well-balanced women know the risks, the consequences, but the state of being a Mom overrides that, and quickly dissipates the pain.
This is not meant to be misogamy, just a sideways version of, “If you can’t do the time, then don’t do the crime”.
From the female aspect NO. Simple fact is ECONOMICS, not any other unless you are of a religious sect that promotes high baby producing rates.
Next factor from a woman’s point of view is the toll on a woman’s body. YOU MEN DON’T CARRY THEM 9 MONTHS or take much care of them as babies. With rare exceptions.
But you do have to buy clothes, diapers, food, housing, ins, support their wants and needs for sports, band, dancing, self defense, education etc. Cost over $1 Mil to raise 1 child. Average white family is 2 children just for ECONOMIC reasons. For the average working Joe and Jane Doe.
Writer is a liberal IDIOT! This is not the middle ages where more kids meant a male heir had to survived. Nor were needed to work farms, now machines do that.
>>>From the female aspect NO. Simple fact is ECONOMICS, not any other unless you are of a religious sect that promotes high baby producing rates.<<<
I travel the length and breadth of the City of Chicago and much of the suburbs. The City of Chicago is illuminating in that there are many pedestrians to observe. The City is approximately 1/3 white, 1/3 black and 1/3 Hispanic. In the most affluent areas, which are also mostly white, there are more doggy day cares than anywhere else. I see millenial women out jogging, walking their dogs or just going from A to B with headphones on. What I don’t see frequently are children. The black and other white neighborhoods have relatively few children, but much more than the most prosperous areas. The Hispanic neighborhoods, mostly Mexican, are full of kids. And the mothers tend to be younger. I also shop in a suburb that has some muslim immigrants. They have more babies than any other group I see around here.
I don’t think the Mexicans and Muslim parents look at children as being the burden you paint them to be. And because of that, America is on the fast path to being a majority minority country.
What’s the point of this reply? It’s none other than me, showing my displeasure with the predominant culture. The culture that views children as expensive and as a burden.
This country, via the parents of the baby boomers and prior generations, used to have large families for all demographics. This coupled with the fact that America was significantly less prosperous than it is today, underscores that children being viewed as expensive or a burden is at odds with our past.
>>>How many stories like this have been posted in the last few months? They all seem to have the same theme.
“Oh woe is super smart me, a man will not commit and marry me.”<<<
Well this article is part of the reason, it appears to me. Let’s go back in time to why men used to like getting married. You know 50 years ago the vast majority of 25-29 years old were married. Being a bachelor was the rare exception.
1) Sex
2) Children
3) Respect
4) Made your life easier
These are four good reasons why men would get married back in the day.
Nowadays you don’t need marriage for sex. Wives, in my personal experience, don’t give their husbands respect the way I remember the women used to when I was a child. I don’t think women make your life easier anymore. Women seem to be more unsatisfied today than ever. Their demands are off the charts. Just check out some dating sites and read women’s profiles. They have demands sky high.
What’s left, kids? And this article is saying even less women want kids today than 25 years ago. Ugh.
>>>My husband wanted a houseful, I wanted none<<<
What did you want to do instead? And did you do that?
My biggest complaint is I don’t get to spend as much time as I’d like with my husband. They would probably look at me like I’m the crazy one ;) Feminism has been so destructive to everyone. Sad thing is, they don’t even see it.. they are so blinded by their never ending anger and hatred.
I’ve heard some stay at home moms tell me that they get shamed by other women for not working. Feminism has gotten most women into the working world. I’m not so sure what’s so great about being a working mom. Burning the candles at both ends sounds worse than trying to live more modestly off of just he husband’s salary.
My guess is women secretly get annoyed/jealous when they see SAHMs, because of the shaming language SAHMs receive.
I used to have a lot of women try to shame me over that. What was worse though, were the ones that would try to shame me over the amount of kids we have.
“All you do is pop out kids, you don’t even have a job, you have no purpose..” and those were the mild ones. No longer speaking to any of them is the best thing possible. They couldn’t handle even a small portion of the work load I have daily.
My husband and daughter turned that “you have no purpose” comment into the biggest inside joke ever. They sometimes have me laughing to tears over it.
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