Posted on 08/16/2019 5:00:55 AM PDT by sodpoodle
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied. "Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded.
"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
"The man replied,"That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf.”
Hahahahaha...love it! Gonna go tell someone now...:)
Great Golf One-liners:
Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture: Winston Churchill Golf one-liners
It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course: Babe Ruth
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course: Lee Trevino
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow: Sam Snead
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball: Jack Lemmon
If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron: Lee Trevino
The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music: Anon
I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose: Gerald Ford
After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye: Chi Chi Rodriguez
LOL, for some odd reason, I could perfectly visualize Jack Lemmon from his "Some Like It Hot" days saying that exact line!!!!!
Never pick up a lost ball while it’s still rolling.....
That would a killin’ offense for some!
If you aren't being serious, good sarcasm.
But if you are being serious, get a life.
God gave us the gift of laughter.
CHILL
Are you muslim?
There is no humor in Islam.
Boy aren’t you the turd in the punch bowl?
This is a fun thread. At least it was till you got here.
Humor is often defined as misfortune happening to someone else. Obviously you have no sense of humor.
Clean up on aisle 8.
This thread was titled "Friday Fun" for a reason. It's about jokes and humor.
But you decide to be the piss in the punch.
People like you, with no sense of humor, need to crawl back into your negative holes and stay there.
The rest of us don't want your sour, bitter, negative poisoned personality.
Glad you enjoyed it;)
Thanks for your comments;)
It only signed up a year ago!!!!!
I don't know what the guy's (or gal's) problem with your golf jokes was but they were out of line or on the wrong thread.
After looking at posts you’ve made on FR,
I’m putting you up for Master of Self-Righteousness.
It must be great to think you’re the smartest,
most ethical person in the room.
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