Why anyone puts their parents in a home, away from family, is unconsciousably to me.
What child does that to their parent?
Go ahead. Defend that!
SOME elders put themselves in eldercare...for good reason, btw.
I have two sons. One is married, one isn't. They're older...no kids. There was a time when my youngest was living with me, and I figured the only way to get him to move out of my apartment was to die. He finally left. Now lives in Indiana. I'm in New York State. My oldest son lives a couple of hours away, and calls me once a week. When I had cats, I always figured I'd die, and they wouldn't find me until after my cats had make a smorgasbord of me. I have no cats now, so my worries about being somebody's lunch have passed. First of all, I pray that I never outlive my kids. Second of all, I hope God will let me die before either of my kids has to make the decision of what to do with me. I certainly don't want to live with either of them. Neither of my parents went to a nursing home. They both died in hospital, as did my three siblings.
My Gran needed around the clock care that neither of her kids could afford, and both were still working full time. She was in a home that is an eight minute drive from my house, and I was there with her at least once a week depending on how I felt, because dialysis wiped me out. My Mom saw her at least once a week, mostly twice, and my Aunt would see her at least once a week. I saw her every Wednesday or Thursday depending on my dialysis schedule, but went more often when I could. My current husband went with me a couple of times before she passed, and my ex-fiancee went with me frequently to visit her.
It was not physically or economically possible. Gran had a stroke and was half paralyzed, on top of the emphysema and her requirement of an oxygen tank, not to mention that she was quite heavy and difficult to assist on the toilet. She needed nurses 24/7 and, as stated, even all of the grandkids, kids, and in-laws together couldn’t afford it.
You’re terribly judgmental. None of us wanted it, but it was the only option we had. My Mom was a service coordinator at that home previously, so we knew that place inside and out. She was also far less depressed after moving in, because she actually had a social life. When she was at home, she would sit home alone and smoke two packs of cigarettes daily while watching broadcast TV. She never had a driver’s license (she refused to learn), and got mugged walking to the 7/11 down the block. Twice. Eventually, she could no longer walk that distance, and we could only see her once a week, because she lived an hour away, deep in Chicago’s former Polish neighborhood (it’s all Latin now).
You, my friend, are a douche.
You have no clue.