Posted on 09/05/2020 2:39:59 AM PDT by BipolarBob
U.S.—Bible scholars now believe Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden because they refused to wear a mask, or really, any clothes at all.
"It's pretty clear that the original sin was actually not putting a mask on in a public place like the Garden of Eden," said Dr. Charles Manning of Yale Divinity School. "We originally thought the fruit was a literal fruit, but we now believe it to be symbolic language representing the wearing of a mask."
"We repeatedly asked them to put a mask on, and they were just totally unashamed," said Karen, an angel on duty at the time. "They didn't even seem to be aware that their mouths were uncovered, or their more... private bits."
The angel tasked with shooing them away got out his trusty, 6-foot-long sword of fire and carefully prodded them out of the garden, keeping his distance the whole time. Adam and Eve were then cursed to work hard their whole lives and DoorDash stuff, never again being able to eat out at a restaurant.
Adam took no responsibility for the incident, claiming that the whole thing was his wife's idea.
I read some time back that archaeologists had discovered a very crude mask at a site believed to be Eden.
And a number of paper bags and styrofoam containers were found that may indeed prove that they were banned from indoor dining for the original sin of not wearing their masks.
it is my own scholarly theory that Adam tried to pass the buck on this one because I know of no couple where the man is diligently wearing the mask and it is the woman who isn’t.
This is supported by the letter A being found on the barely used mask at the dig site.
And were cursed for it too.
LMAO.
It was and some things never change...
They wore a fig leaf mask over their privates.
Bless the Bee....
But they found the fig leaf was actually poison ivy on Adam and forever more men have an itch down there.
The earlier fight over cotton vs. wool masks between Cain and Abel turned far uglier.
That’s funny.
Ask Brian Williams. He was there, right?
This is big it means God is a democrat a communist it must mean he is working for satan to over throw the government.
They were coerced by a serpent named Karen.
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