Posted on 01/19/2021 7:48:39 PM PST by Beowulf9
Or at home.
God bless you and yours beowulf9
Brought my mother who is 94 and has intermittent confusion and a possible fall to my house to care for her.
It is not new, it is ages old. It is a right of passage, if children are there they, understand the value of life. We have sanitized all this with nursing homes and hospitals.
This will test you to your limits but if you do the best you can, you will be thankful you got to be there with her in the end. Nothing teaches you to value life more than to be there when one ends.
I spent the last days with my Mom reading the Bible to her. Still miss that.
Do your best, do the one thing that is needed at the moment. You will get answers when you need them, not before.
Didn't you hear her? She said she did not want to leave. She wanted to stay there.
It may be difficult but when your mother or father is ready to die - don't ship them off. Stay with them. Be a comfort.
Unfortunately with behavior like this, she would very quickly pull out an IV, and a PEG tube for feedings is contraindicated in a patient likely to pull it out (it could damage the stomach wall).
Tough situation.
A geriatric doctor or psychologist can provide guidance by phone. And they might do a house call for this case.
It could be simple depression or digestive issues.
If she will eat ANYTHING — even junk food or candy — that is better than nothing, and you might be able to sneak medicine into it.
Maybe a great-smelling food (bacon, fresh-baked bread, etc.) or a comfort food will be appealing.
Home Health Care is an option for treatment, but a doctor is best for diagnosis and determining the best treatment.
Nine replies. To come up with the first correct answer. You said it and I repeat it. Hospice.
The OP needs to call tomorrow.
Pray with her. Give thanks for her. Hold her hand and let her know you love her. I will pray for you both tonight.
My mother entered hospice. They came to her home. She died (as requested) in her own bed.
Beowulf, try Ensure or some other dietary liquid supplement. She may like the chocolate or vanilla. Failing that, talk to her doctor and tell her what she’s doing. Since she sleeps almost all day, her caloric needs are minimal, but she still needs to eat. Contact your state’s Dept.of aging services. A local hospice near me were a help when my Dad was dying from colon cancer. God Bless, and don’t hesitate to email me if you need more help.
She does have a house and she never seems to think of it but that is something I worry about. When she was there she somehow hurt herself, she may have fallen out of bed. She cannot hardly hear and she cannot hardly see, she is confused and told me twice she was 22 and 25 years old. She did not know who I was and did not recognize my brother who was over at her house nearly every other day. She couldn’t operate the microwave or the stove, could not figure out how to feed herself at all. She refused to come to my house for care when I saw she was all alone and not able to feed herself so my brother and I went to her house each taking the opposite day, cooking for her and taking care of her cat and dog. She finally consented to come to my house for a while till she was not hurt anymore (could hardly walk was in so much pain). She after 4 days said I promised she could go home but at that point she still could not walk back and forth to the bathroom, six feet from her bed so I told her she was injured. She has never brought up her home again and I don’t know if she wants to go home and doesn’t trust me or has no memory of it?
Prayers for you and your mother.
My mother made this decision too in spite of her advanced Alzheimer’s. After ten years of that at the age of 89 she simply had no more desire in her to be here.
This is very hard for you, I know well, but it is not nearly so hard for her. She wants to be at home and taking her out will obviously distress her greatly.
She is ready to go. Let her.
I went through it with both of my parents. Took care of them for 7 years each, myself, 24-7, one right after another. Both with Alzheimer’s, both with physical difficulties.
Had to put my mother in a care facility a couple of times because I simply couldn’t do it any more, but she hated being there, and I had to bring her home.
Made me decide that when I can no longer take care of myself, I’m going to go, one way or another.
And given the bleak world that is coming, forcing someone to stay alive is cruel, not kind.
I know it is hard, but just show her all the love and kindness you can, and let nature take its course.
Wow. This is tough.
My mom is 85 and is in assisted living. If something happens, there is a hospital in town and if they can’t handle the problem there are a couple of major hospitals within an hour. Along with a rehabilitative care facility across the street.
She’s getting old. She has a DNR directive in her medical power of attorney (which i have).
I don’t envy you. May God bless and direct your future actions. ‘Pod
My husband had a stroke almost 3 years ago. It affected his desire to eat or drink plus he would get angry when I tried to get him to eat.. His doctor prescribed Megestrol and it has helped so much. Good luck.
if she’ll drink them, smoothies can hold enough calories and nutrition to help a bit
you shouldn’t be alone caring for her.
Call your mom’s PC. They should do an order for hospice without her coming in.
Hi yes everyone has the best response as my Dad went through this stage and he was 92. We knew he was leaving us after several hospitla stays and him talking to my older brother about him being tired and wanted to see our mother who had 20 years earlier. The hospital tried basically to get us do feeding through his stomach, but we nad the doctor said it ebst it wouldnt help. The hospital of course wouuld make money otherwse. We brought him home and took care of him as he did not want to go to a nursing home. It was better for him as he had all but stopped eating and wanted to go home which he did one night.
You mom wants to die.
A person can “graduate” from hospice, it’s not always the end of life care that we’re used to. Call her doctor and tell him what’s happening, tell him you want hospice. They will/can send someone in for hours each day to give you some rest from caring for her. It does get stressful, my brother and I cared for my Dad for 6 months and it was tough for even two people.
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