If everyone on Earth sat in the ocean at once, how much would sea level rise?

The Conversation ^ | 31/3/21 | Tony E. Wong

[Eleutheria5]

But what if all those eight billion people had a really big lunch and farted in unison? Would this cause an outbreak of tsunamis and global warming, tearing the planet apart? Jor El warned Krypton of this, and they laughed at him, heading for the burrito stands on the beach. Luckily, he launched the rocket with his son Kal El into the void before the Kryptonians took his dare. You should be careful what you say to a Kryptonian, and don't export Mexican food to other planets. Next thing you know, you'll have a super powered busybody with bad fashion sense flying around saving people from themselves.

[Truthoverpower]

A better question which I’ve always asked to global warming nut balls is the following

If all the above sea level ice on planet earth melted how much would that raise the ocean sea levels?

Now mind you the north and south poles average about -22-50°C so it’s never gonna happen

But the answer will surprise you

[Rurudyne]

The Fartocalypse is upon us!

[Eleutheria5]

Wait until they get the cows involved!

[rktman]

Ummmm....200 feet? And, “Now mind you the north and south poles average about -22-50°C so it’s never gonna happen” You’ll be getting a call from grrrreta or manbearpig shortly. :-)

[mfish13]

The North pole is irrelevant. If it completely melts, there would be zero change in the water levels.

[Eleutheria5]

But what if BLM grabs a bunch of battery-operated hair dryers and heads to the North and South poles? Will they have their revenge on the white devils at last? Or will they discover that there’s no place to recharge a battery in the polar regions?

[Phlap]

On what side of the IDL would everyone be? With out that information, how could we know?

[EvilCapitalist]

Have these people factored in Michael Moore? That fat ass would cause the oceans to rise exponentially all by himself.

[bhl]

Google says the seas would rise approximately 70 meters if all the ice melted. Is that your conclusion?

[central_va]

The North pole is irrelevant. If it completely melts, there would be zero change in the water levels.

True, but if the ice on Greenland were to melt a significant rise in the ocean level would follow.

[Yo-Yo]

A better question which I’ve always asked to global warming nut balls is the following

If all the above sea level ice on planet earth melted how much would that raise the ocean sea levels?

Now mind you the north and south poles average about -22-50°C so it’s never gonna happen

But the answer will surprise you

According to National Geographic, if all ice on Earth melted, this would be the resultant map:

However, remember that all of the ice at the North Pole is floating, so if the North Pole melts, there would be no change in sea level. Ditto for much of the ice at the South Pole.

It's areas like Greenland and mountain glaciers that would contribute to sea level rise.

[Eleutheria5]

Will Moore be sliding in slowly and carefully, or taking a running leap? If the latter, will it be high tide or low tide where he jumps?

[Eleutheria5]

You could get a bunch of construction workers to build dykes at low tide, and stave this off.

[Rurudyne]

Random aside:

It has been speculated that the reason the big sauropods could grow so large is that they had fermentation based digestion to help them digest low quality and rough food. Fermentation benefits from economies of scale, the larger the vat, or in this case the stomach, the more efficient the system.

So a large, efficient stomach gives large critters an advantage.

Now, cows, that you mentioned, are no where near the size of a sauropod and yet we’ve got cows that can sustain a flame ... so imagine what the dinosaurs were like?

In Jurassic park they had to be shown the dinosaurs when they first came into the park, but a more accurate version would have them smelling them long before they came into view.

[Eleutheria5]

There’d be a great big Zoom party, and everyone everywhere would say a-1 a-2 a-3 a-GOOOO! in unison and then jump. It will be horrible.

[Daffynition]

Answer: the same thing that would happen if all 350 million toilets in the United States were flushed at the same time?

[Eleutheria5]

Cows don’t fart, but at this point, what difference does it make?

[Rurudyne]

Angry lesbians defending our shores? /runsaway

[Eleutheria5]

Americans, nothing. India and China are the ones we have to worry about for synchronized flushing.