Cheer up NPR-Americans. When, and not if, Emperor Bad Touch steps down or dies then he will be succeeded by Empress Impudicus Kamala Meterix.
The Last Days of Rome: How A Great Empire Fell With Barely a Whimper: https://historycollection.com/last-days-rome-great-empire-fell-barely-whimper/
When The Romans Lost A Tenth Of Their Armies In A Single Battle – The Disaster Of The Teutoburg Forest:https://www.warhistoryonline.com/ancient-history/romans-lost-tenth-armies.html
“Visigoths do the work and slaying that Romans refuse to do.”...
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I believe that was a previous emperor, Georgius Wussious Bushus.
Emperor Biggus Dickus
Emperor Brandon
And when the emperor is gone we get Empress Incontinentia Buttocks.
Emperor Mentis Nonexisticus still gets his decem percent.
He had a son too, I believe, called Beltchimus Maximus who had an abacus with porno pictures inscribed on the beads. The son didn’t fiddle while Rome burnt, rather he fiddled his brother’s wife with a couple of Chinese harlots thrown in that he got from Eric Slothwell Fartimus Maximus who was throwing a party for the execs at Genghis Con Incorporated who owned half of the Empire. Bletchimus use to dabble in horse-trading and had one of his horses elected as senator to replace Linda Vagina Graham who retired to his swimming pool to have little boys dive underwater and nip at his private parts like goldfish. The horse accomplish much in his long career and was awarded an honorary doctor position in any liberal college of his choosing. He was eventually made into glue and Bletchimus snorted him one fine evening while reclining on the divan and being Divine.
Are you sure this guy really existed? I can’t find anything on him!
(Or at least according to Google translate)
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?