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Jeremy Clarkson: Don’t waste your dosh on a posh sofa — give my ‘little man’ a call
The Sunday Times ^ | 14 Aug | Jeremy Clarkson

Posted on 08/14/2022 2:08:04 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT

Now that we know it’ll cost eleventy million pounds to heat our houses this winter, and that we won’t be able to afford to pay because our monthly mortgage repayments will be bigger than the gross domestic product of Switzerland, many commentators are offering handy tips on how to save money.

You should put on an extra jumper, they say, and burn litter if you want to stay warm. You should glue your teeth together so you don’t waste money on food and if you do, by some miracle, need the lavatory, you should wipe your bottom with a smooth stone to save on bog roll. It all sounds very uncomfortable and horrid. But happily, I have an easy and actually quite pleasant way of saving yourself an absolute fortune. Simply remove from your life every single luxury brand name.

Then we heard about a “little man” in a nearby village. An old-school craftsman. A chap who wears dungarees and gets away with it. He operates out of what’s nothing more than a hut, which is rammed full of tables he’s restoring and chairs he’s reupholstering and yes, he could make us a sideboard that would fill, exactly, the 12ft gap between the loo door and the door to the kitchen.

And now he has, and it’s one of the most exquisite and beautifully crafted things I’ve ever seen. It’s made from Brazilian rosewood, has a splash of marquetry, legs more captivating than Elle Macpherson’s and lovely lion head handles. And the cost? It would be rude to say here but it’s way shy of anything modern that you could find in London....

(Excerpt) Read more at thetimes.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: topgear
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Some years back my wife became tired of the front room furniture. One of her friends pointed her to a local upholster, which only cost about three-quarters of new!

That was over ten years back she still likes it and the dogs have yet to level a mark on it!

And the couch is long enough for me to nap on! Unchanged!

Win-win.

1 posted on 08/14/2022 2:08:04 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT
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To: DUMBGRUNT

Full txt:
https://archive.ph/b4uoE#selection-923.0-923.344


2 posted on 08/14/2022 2:08:34 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT (("The enemy has overrun us. We are blowing up everything. Vive la France!"Dien Bien Phu last message)
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To: DUMBGRUNT

We are furnished in Early Garage Sale and Thrift store.
We’re so poor looking someone broke in once and left a $20 on the kitchen table for us.

We get good laughs though when the people who looked down on us and had everything perfect and expensive had to declare bankruptcy and lost everything.


3 posted on 08/14/2022 2:15:28 PM PDT by oldasrocks
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To: DUMBGRUNT

Elle McPherson’s legs are now 58 years old. I’m sure they aren’t what they were.


4 posted on 08/14/2022 2:17:08 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (What was 35% of the Rep. Party is now 85%. And it’s too late to turn back—Mac Stipanovich )
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To: DUMBGRUNT

In our area you can buy wonderful furniture handmade by Amish craftsman. Not expensive …… and they deliver…..


5 posted on 08/14/2022 2:18:26 PM PDT by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. )
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To: DUMBGRUNT

Jeremy Clarkson has some great ideas here, and he is supporting his local independent craftsmen by buying from them.


6 posted on 08/14/2022 2:23:40 PM PDT by dennisw
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To: DUMBGRUNT

Oh....that ‘little man’.


7 posted on 08/14/2022 2:30:20 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
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To: DUMBGRUNT

eleventy million pounds

I think I’ll burn a few hundred dollars of firewood this winter. Gladly sell it for eleventy megapounds.
Can split more by October.


8 posted on 08/14/2022 2:37:03 PM PDT by sasquatch
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To: DUMBGRUNT

Sounds very expensive, though...


9 posted on 08/14/2022 2:50:31 PM PDT by Flaming Conservative ((Pray withSout ceasing)y)
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To: sasquatch
eleventy million pounds

Is that eleventy million pounds per household, or per country? 😂

10 posted on 08/14/2022 2:54:10 PM PDT by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of USAF pilot. USAF aviation runs in the family )
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To: DUMBGRUNT
what does james may think?


11 posted on 08/14/2022 3:08:05 PM PDT by mylife (And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids...)
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To: mylife
"what does james may think?"

James May thinks Clarkson is a pillock, but he's the pillock who gave him the job that made him rich and famous.

Jezza is the 'Don Rickles' of the automotive world. Clarkson making fun of you is prima facie proof that you've made it. Or proof that you had it but lost it.

12 posted on 08/14/2022 3:22:07 PM PDT by Paal Gulli
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To: Dr. Sivana

—”Elle McPherson’s legs are now 58 years old. I’m sure they aren’t what they were.”

Some memories become frozen in time.

Lets have a look...

Elle Macpherson Shows Off Her Famous Legs in Swimsuit
Elle Macpherson is 59, and still looks every bit the supermodel as she did in her twenties when earned her nickname, “The Body.”

https://celebwell.com/news-elle-macpherson-shows-off-her-famous-legs-in-swimsuit/

Looks a bit spindly for any productive work, like humping sandbags to build up the bunker.


13 posted on 08/14/2022 3:27:24 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT (("The enemy has overrun us. We are blowing up everything. Vive la France!"Dien Bien Phu last message)
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To: Rummyfan

…… and they deliver…..

By horse cart?

Around Chiraq the locals would harpoon the unfortunate horse and fire up the BBQ... Later in the evening, they might fire up the neighborhood.


14 posted on 08/14/2022 3:30:57 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT (("The enemy has overrun us. We are blowing up everything. Vive la France!"Dien Bien Phu last message)
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To: sasquatch

Sasquatch said, Can split more by October.

“Harry and the Hendersons” with an extra heavy splitting ax...
Makes quick work of it!


15 posted on 08/14/2022 3:35:29 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT (("The enemy has overrun us. We are blowing up everything. Vive la France!"Dien Bien Phu last message)
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To: DUMBGRUNT

There are some things that just make a fella glad to be alive.


16 posted on 08/14/2022 3:37:49 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Covid Is All About Mail In Ballots)
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To: oldasrocks

We are about the same. Besides the couch and a couple chairs, all of our furniture is used or the kind you have to assemble.

Next time we move, our plan is to not move any furniture except maybe the matttress. The headboard was Early Salvation Army from 36 years ago.


17 posted on 08/14/2022 3:39:38 PM PDT by cyclotic (Follow 1776Restorationmovement.com fighting for our Constitution. @1776RM on Truth)
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To: Gay State Conservative

—”There are some things that just make a fella glad to be alive.”

6 June 2012 one of my two alive days...
An evil car struck me on my bicycle, ten days asleep, twenty days in the hospital.

Only false memories of the event.

Still difficult for me to watch.


18 posted on 08/14/2022 3:43:59 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT (("The enemy has overrun us. We are blowing up everything. Vive la France!"Dien Bien Phu last message)
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To: DUMBGRUNT
Very good point...at the end of the day attractive women aren't quite as important as other things.
19 posted on 08/14/2022 3:53:38 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Covid Is All About Mail In Ballots)
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To: mylife

One of the best shows ever!


20 posted on 08/14/2022 3:56:50 PM PDT by lizma2
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