Posted on 12/23/2023 5:27:35 AM PST by lowbridge
They say not to speak ill of the dead, but a Michigan woman did so in writing a scathing obituary about her “violent, hateful, and cruel” mom.
Gayle Harvey Heckman accused her mom, Linda Lernal Harvey Cullum Smith Stull, who died Dec. 12, of condoning sexual assault against her, as well as lying about who her biological father was, the Sturgis Journal reported.
She revealed so many skeletons in the closet that the publisher removed the obit from the Three Rivers news site when readers complained about its shocking contents.
“Well, honestly, I wanted to write it for myself because I wanted to clear my name,” Heckman told the Journal on Thursday.
“For 24 years and before that, my mother has had to come up with a reason as to why her daughter isn’t in her life that doesn’t make her look like a monster. … I had to reclaim my name,” she told the outlet.
-snip
“As a mother, Lernal was violent, hateful, and cruel. She physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, and financially abused Gayle,” the print obit states, according to the outlet.
It also names one alleged abuser, an ex-husband of her mom’s whom the Journal did not identify.
“Lernal accused Gayle of ‘trying to steal her husband’ and proceeded to beat her senselessly,” the obit reportedly says.
“Gayle and her family forgive Lernal and hope that she has found peace,” it reads.
But the obit concludes, “Lernal will not be missed by Gayle or her family. They all understand the world is a much better place without her.”
Heckman said she found it cathartic to pen the vicious obit.
“I wasn’t trying to be hateful, I genuinely … don’t have any hate. I am angry,” she told the Journal.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
this is a bit much but i also don’t understand the mentality of once a person is dead- they were saints.
“I wasn’t trying to be hateful, I genuinely … don’t have any hate. I am angry,” she told the Journal”
Good to know. I’d hate to see it if she made an effort. Sheesh 😏
I think her mom has more last names than Liz Taylor.
Sounds like she’s probably right that the world is better place without her.
Wow. My mom was a terrible parent and a horrible grandmother but I’ve forgiven her, I assume she thought she was doing her best. I’d never bash her publicly.
An obituary isn’t the place for this.
Yeah, I hate that “I did my best” trope. Your best wasn’t good enough.
She’s going to heaven or hell, doesn’t matter about this world.
The dear daughter also has that eternal future, just repent and try to get to know Jesus, that he remembers you, when you meet him. The past is pased, the present is your gift, to give or take.
Assuming it’s true, rape as a child is not just something you put behind you.
You are a better person than I.
Parents are not automatically good people.
“She’s going to heaven or hell, doesn’t matter about this world.”
It matters to her daughter & the other people she abused in this world.
How does a parent “financially abuse” an adult child?
I’m siding with mom on this one.
I’ve know plenty of kids with problematic relationships. The ones where the parent was truly bad, the parent’s death went unrecognized. Indifference is the reaction. Or relief. But there will just be a death notice.
When the kid (usually a daughter) was scum, it’s a reaction like this.
Might be different here, but I’m going with this until proven otherwise.
Bashing your parents only makes you look bad.
My mother was terrible. Pretty much the only ones who know are my siblings and our respective spouses. The grandkids simply never knew her.
I always say something good about the dead.
This woman’s mother is dead.
Good.
“i also don’t understand the mentality of once a person is dead- they were saints”
I’ll make this short as possible.
Back in the early 2000s a guy got transferred into the building I was working in.
He had gotten fired the year before but retained council and got his job back complete with back pay and any overtime he would have been eligible for.
The termination resulted from harassing other employees and physical violence in thexwork place.
After a while he set his sights on me for some reason or another, why to this day I don’t know, I never met the man much less had been introduced to him.
I guess he was just plain mean.
Eventually I got promoted into another department so I got awafrom that situation but I ran into him one Saturday in the parking of my local Lowes and he tried to provoke me I to a physical altercation.
I found out later that he had a habit of doing that with other employees.
The facility was eventually able to “retire” him by making his job obsolete.
At the time my brother in law was security at the trauma hospital.
A few months after this crazy man retired my brother in law called me and ask me if I knew this guy because his persinfo showed he had worked where I did.
When I acknowledged I knew him and asked why, my BIN told me this guy was in ICU with a gunshot to the head.
Come to find out he had been harassing one of his neigand his wife, eventually the neighbor lost his temper, both men pulled out a gun and shot, killing each other.
The reason I told you all that is about the crazy guys obit.
The comments were glowing.
I really couldn’t believe it.
It took every bit of my self control to keep from blasting that crazy dude in his own obituary but I did it.
And I’m glad I did but man that was a trip.
True story.....every word.
Neither are siblings.
Frank Cullum
14 hours ago
You don’t have to believe it but I can confirm all of it is accurate. I am Lernell’s biological son.
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Annu
17 hours ago
I applaud her honesty and hopefully this is the beginning of a new dawn where truthful obituaries will are accepted and bring us change. I realize the glitches and the pitfalls about subjective/objective reality. But it is step in the right direction. They should not have taken it down. Maybe a fa...See more
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Brian J. Carnevale
15 hours ago
What goes around comes back around! Perhaps now she can start to heal from the abuse she suffered from. Abuse can cause one a great trauma if it is dispatched in multiple ways simultaneously. Abuse comes in many forms, it is always smart to remember this.
I do Hope she can start to heal now. The l...
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Heston Price
17 hours ago
Why should we believe her?
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Annu
15 hours ago
You dont have to believe anything. You can be offended. But the first amendment is freedom of speech. I believe her. What if she IS telling the truth then what? This could bring about change and rights for children who have no voice. I am a victim of child abuse with no one saving me and feeling ...
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Vern
11 hours ago
I did and I agree with you.
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Tom Harris
11 hours ago
I did and agree with you
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Extremeteam
12 hours ago
My dad is in his late 80’s, left us kids when we were very young, never paid child support, was barely involved in our lives in HS and although we have been fairly close over the years, he blew his inheritance from my grandparents on his third wife and has zero left. We support him and have become...
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Frank Cullum
14 hours ago
You don’t have to believe it but I can confirm all of it is accurate. I am Lernell’s biological son.
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Reality Check
13 hours ago
Yet, you don’t know how to spell her name. Nice try, Frankie.
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Edfrommoca
16 hours ago
With all those names the mom was pretty active
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Reality Check
13 hours ago
That’s what narcissists tend to do - they churn thru people. There’s a term for it, it’s called: narcissistic supply ... they are always looking for new people to befriend and abuse because most people eventually run away once they realize how they are. It’s a churn.
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2 replies
I hope that by writing this obit has cleansed this poor soul’s heart and mind.
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