I need a humor break having worked this for two months now. Where's she goin' next Disney World?
Ok you asked for it....
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY as told to me by a nut....
1. At midday sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing motorists, check to see if they slow down;
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Refrain from disguising your voice;
3. Insist that your email addres is
xena.warriorprincess@companyname.com 4. Everytime someone asks you to do a favor, ask if they want fries with it;
5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing;
6. Put your trashcan on your desk, label it "IN", put an "OUT" on the window;
7. Develop a phobia of staplers, ostracize tape dispensers;
8. Put decaffieinated in the office coffee machine. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso;
9. In the memo field of your checks write "for sexual favors"
10. reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!!"
11. Finish all your sentences with a serious, deep voice, "As it was foretold by the prophets."
12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the enire work area. Insist to others that you prefer it that way;
13. Leave out punctuation in your emails and office memos.
14. Skip around the office, down the hall, and up the stairs;
15. Ask people what their sex is - then laugh hysterically;
16. When people ask "How are you doing" Put up your fists, lift your leg"
17. Go to an avant garde poety recital, protest because the poems don't rhyme;
18. Check out where your boss shops, buy the same outfits. Turn up at work a day after he/she does with your imitation. Most effective when the boss is of a different sex;
20. Let the rest of the work force know what you are doing by email. Especially effective if you'll be in the bathroom "in stall #3"
21. Surround your cubicle with mosquito netting; play jungle sounds at odd hours
22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood;
23. Call 911 and ask operator if this is for emergencies;
24. Call the psychic hotline and make a high pitched, electronic sounds;
25 Have your co-workers address you by your undercover alias.
26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won" Third time this week!!"
27. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head I hear!"
28. At the end of the month go home with your month's salary in bacon!
29. Over dinner announce to your children that the economy of the country is so bad, you will have a lottery to see which one of them has to go"
30. Everytime you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here".
Ugghhh, my fingers are tired. Hope this cheered you up florida voter!