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Aussies - all puff and no trousers. 'I'll run around the office in a Green and Gold thong'
rugbyrugby.com ^ | 07/11/03 | By Richard Pembroke

Posted on 11/07/2003 11:41:17 AM PST by .cnI redruM

Toutai Kefu's embarrassing outburst about English arrogance last week is just the latest in a series of extraordinary attacks by different sectors of the Australian rugby fraternity on the English and English rugby over the last few weeks.

Eddie Jones has been chirping away with usual tripe, the Australian press' unique style of journalism (if you can call it that) was best represented by the Sydney Morning Herald's full page picture of Johnny Wilkinson with the caption "Is that all you have got?" and motor-mouth Stephen Larkham is a veritable rent-a-quote if anyone is looking for a few words to say about the merits of English rugby.

Even golden-boy John Eales had had a pop by calling England's rolling maul tactics "illegal" and demanding referees "took a tougher line".

Even by Australian standards, world famous for issuing gargantuan volumes of verbal nonsense, the barrage of stick the England team have received over last few weeks has been colossal.

What is even more amusing, is that the Aussies think they are playing clever mind games. They are remembering the events leading up to the 1991 Final at Twickenham, the last time England had a credible chance of lifting the Webb Ellis trophy, and how famously they launched a premeditated campaign to coax including into changing their highly effective forward-orientated gameplan into a more expansive approach by labelling them "boring".

England, unbelievably, fell for it and on the day squandered a huge advantage in possession by pretending they were the Barbarians and going down 12-6.

However, the 2003 Wallabies are not the sharpest tools in the World Cup box and they appear to be wholly unaware that each clumsy and laboured swipe at England probably makes Martin Johnson's team another point harder to beat. Siege mentalities do wonders for team moral and inner strength.

The 1991 vintage headed by coach Bob Dwyer and captain Nick Farr-Jones were in a different league to the current duo of Eddie Jones and George Gregan. It is hugely telling that Farr-Jones has been about the only Australian to tip England for the title in addition to refraining from taking the cheap shot. Farr-Jones knows perfectly well that the best tactic to unhinge this England side would be to talk them up and try to subconsciously tip their inner self-belief into over confidence. Unfortunately for Australia, his nous and perception is less evident in most of his countrymen.

The other major cause of this Australian sledging is that they know they are the poorest Wallaby side in over a decade. Ireland should have beaten them. They made a poor start and gave Australia 11 points of breathing space and then dominated for 65 minutes. Eddie O'Sullivan was rightly furious.

This was not some heroic near-miss at one of the world superpowers (like Wales sensationally managed against the All Blacks), O'Sullivan would have expected his side to prevail against Australia. Hell, I reckon Ian McGeechan and his players will think they are in with a shout of a semi-final berth. I know he is canny, but for 'Geech' to have conceded the group to France in order to ensure he had the easiest quarter-final was inspired!

If anyone was remotely surprised by Australia's performance on Saturday they obviously haven't been studying the form. In the last 12 months, the Wallabies have lost to South Africa, Ireland and twice to New Zealand and England! Indeed, they have been beaten by England on the last four occasions. You have to go back to 1999 for a Wallaby victory, a 22-15 win in Sydney. Ninety-nine for goodness sakes, if that doesn't feel long enough ago how about knowing that the England squad that day included Jeremy Guscott, Tim Rodber and Ben Clarke on the bench!

And the most recent of these defeats was as crushing as anyone can remember. The Australians were beaten on home soil with embarrassing ease at the peak of their season by a side at the end of their season and that had played the All Blacks seven days previously.

Anyone present at Newlands in July to witness one of the most inept 80 minutes of rugby ever produced by an Australian side will have seen at first-hand that for all the puff and verbal, they are alarmingly lacking where it counts. And if you didn't think that it could have got worse, it amazingly did when the All Blacks put 50 points past them in Sydney 14 days later.

The Australians don't have a cat-in-hell's chance of winning this tournament. If Georgie Gregan is lifting this trophy at the end of November I hereby promise to all readers that I will run a front-page apology to the Australian team and then run around the office in a Green and Gold thong, singing 'Advance Australia Fair'.

Given their status as hosts but also rank outsiders, it is perhaps unsurprising they are making the most of the time on and off the pitch that they are still in the tournament.


TOPICS: Australia/New Zealand; Extended News; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: pommies; rugby; rwc2003
Rugby journalists are a unique bunch. I alomost hope the pommies and wallabies do make The Webb Ellis Cup.
1 posted on 11/07/2003 11:41:18 AM PST by .cnI redruM
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To: .cnI redruM
I think England will win the tournament, they're the best team in the world at the moment.
2 posted on 11/07/2003 11:45:43 AM PST by Ashamed Canadian
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To: .cnI redruM
To problem is that the Ozzies are just to used to beating us at cricket (which they do with appaling ease at the moment), however, at rugby we now rule the world and they just don't like it.

Swing low sweet chariot.
3 posted on 11/07/2003 11:47:32 AM PST by tjwmason (A voice from merry England.)
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To: tjwmason
Who has the most Indian cricketeers?
4 posted on 11/07/2003 11:50:28 AM PST by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: Ashamed Canadian
They should. If the play Aus. In the final, the only worry they have is Wendall Sailor and he's all the way out at 14.
5 posted on 11/07/2003 11:51:52 AM PST by .cnI redruM (Mouthing support for the workingman is one of the best ways to avoid actually being one.)
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To: AppyPappy
It depends on which reservation has the most indians.
6 posted on 11/07/2003 11:52:28 AM PST by .cnI redruM (Mouthing support for the workingman is one of the best ways to avoid actually being one.)
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To: .cnI redruM
If Georgie Gregan is lifting this trophy at the end of November I hereby promise to all readers that I will run a front-page apology to the Australian team and then run around the office in a Green and Gold thong, singing 'Advance Australia Fair'

This will be sweet.

7 posted on 11/07/2003 11:52:37 AM PST by armed_in_sydney
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To: armed_in_sydney
It all depends on how Pemboke looks in a thong. You may want to be proactive, look up his address, and send him a depillatory.
8 posted on 11/07/2003 11:53:56 AM PST by .cnI redruM (Mouthing support for the workingman is one of the best ways to avoid actually being one.)
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To: .cnI redruM
I'd tell him to be less concerned with Australia and more with their upcoming match against Wales,especially considering their top performance against NZ.
9 posted on 11/07/2003 12:19:13 PM PST by armed_in_sydney
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To: armed_in_sydney
That was awesome. Did you see that Welsh #6? He looked like Lomu in '95.
10 posted on 11/07/2003 12:31:42 PM PST by .cnI redruM (Mouthing support for the workingman is one of the best ways to avoid actually being one.)
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To: .cnI redruM
It was the best match i've seen so far in this world cup.Everyone was expecting NZ to win by 30+.If the Wales backline break England's defence as well as they did NZ's,then it could get interesting.My throat was sore from screaming by the end of that match.
11 posted on 11/07/2003 12:44:38 PM PST by armed_in_sydney
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To: Byron_the_Aussie
Even by Australian standards, world famous for issuing gargantuan volumes of verbal nonsense, ...

PING!

Thought you'd get a kick out of the above statement :)
Regards, HB

12 posted on 11/07/2003 2:30:38 PM PST by Hyacinth Bucket
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To: .cnI redruM
Forward your thongs to Rugby.com.


13 posted on 11/07/2003 2:43:00 PM PST by Lady Jag (Googolplex Star Thinker of the Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity)
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