The Twelve Days of Solstice

12/07/03 | vanity

[genefromjersey]

On the First Day of Solstice
My DP gave to me (DP=Domestic Partner)
An Activist in a tall tree.

On the Second Day of Solstice
My DP gave to me:
Two Clintons kvetching
And an Activist in a tall tree.

On the Third Day of Solstice
My DP gave to me:
Three ELFs a-bombing
Two Clintons Kvetching
And an Activist in a tall tree.

On the Fourth Day of Solstice
My DP gave to me:
Four Pols a-pandering
Three ELFs a-bombing
Two Clintons kvetching
And an Activist in a tall tree.

On the Fifth Day of Solstice
My DP gave to me:
Five Liberal Columnists
Four Pols a-pandering
Three ELFs a-bombing
Two Clintons kvetching
And an Activist in a tall tree.....

[genefromjersey]

Phew !!

Barf alert !!!

You folks will have to finish the rest of this: my stomach can't handle any more !!!!!!

[Possenti]

This thread's gonna be a good one...

[farmfriend]

Hahahahaha!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Here is something to take the taste out of your mouth.


Bob Rivers
The 12 Pains of Christmas

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Angry husband: Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers
Angry husband: Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Exhausted man: Sending Christmas cards
Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers
Angry husband: Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills!
Exhausted man: Sending Christmas cards
Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers
Angry husband: Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Nervous wife: Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Exhausted man: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers
Angry husband: Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Nervous wife's husband: The Salvation Army
Nervous wife: Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Exhausted man: Sending Christmas cards
Man getting over being drunk: Oh, geez!
Angry husband: I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
Whining kid: I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Nervous wife's husband: Charities, And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!?
Five months of bills!
Exhausted man: Oh, making out these cards
Man getting over being drunk: Honey, get me a beer, huh?
Angry husband: What, we have no extension cords?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
A tired father: Finding parking spaces
Whining kid: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Nervous wife's husband: Donations!
Nervous wife: Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Exhausted man: Writing out those Christmas cards
Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers!
Angry husband: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
A mother: "Batteries Not Included"
A tired father: No parking spaces
Whining kid: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!
Nervous wife's husband: Get a job, ya bum!
Nervous wife: Oh, facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Exhausted man: Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Man getting over being drunk: Oh, geez, look at this!
Angry husband: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
A male couch potato: Stale TV specials
A mother "Batteries Not Included"
A tired father: No parking spaces
Whining kid: DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
Nervous wife's husband: Charities!
Nervous wife: She's a witch...I hate her!
Five months of bills!
Exhausted man: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
Man getting over being drunk: Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?
Angry husband: Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Two men: Singing Christmas carols
male couch potato: Stale TV specials
A mother "Batteries Not Included"
A tired father: No parking?!?
Whining kid: WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Nervous wife's husband: Charities!
Nervous wife: Gotta make 'em dinner!
Five months of bills!
Exhausted man: I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!
Man getting over being drunk: Shut up, you!
Angry husband: FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree

[SierraWasp]

Aw chit! I wuz surtin this wud be about "Born Agan Pagins!" (yoo no, wid alla dat tawlk bout "Solstice" an such)

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!!

[Servant of the 9]

You folks will have to finish the rest of this: my stomach can't handle any more !!!!!!

I don't see why, it's traditional.
Man was celebrating the Solistiice and the Saturnalia for 10,000 years before early Christians decided to co opt the ceremony by setting that as the time of Jesus 'birth'.

So9

[thatdewd]

lol, BTTT!

[EagleMamaMT]

Read later.