Kids thrive on discipline

Tucson Arizona Star ^ | 01/03/04 | Betsy Hart

[netmilsmom]

What I see is a person, for whatever reason, feels a need to insult a poster on the words of a single post.

Do you have children, Bob?

[netmilsmom]

>>Sorry - my job was 'teaching', not baby sitting. No wonder our schools are in such bad shape. <<

Sorry, your job was teaching a certain behavior in your classroom no matter what the parents had taught before.

You seem very bitter.

[Pagey]

The article states:...kids raised by authoritative parents, meaning loving moms and dads who set firm limits and stick to them, "excel academically, develop better social skills, feel good about themselves and are happier overall" than peers raised by lax or excessively harsh parents..."

That certainly is the way that it worked in my family and I was the youngest of 5, growing up in the 70's. It's embarrassing how 3 of my 4 my siblings have allowed their kids to walk all over them, but they don't act that way towards their parents when they visit my home, know that for a fact. It's an odd paradox that my neices and nephews really enjoy spending time visiting me too ,as I don't take any 'Lip' from them. (I gave up several years ago even mentioning it to my siblings, some people simply can't be helped you know.)

[XBob]

yes, 1 adult man, who is fine.

Look - I care for children, a lot. And I see two children, which I haven't got a clue as to where they are, going down the drain. And I see a paralyzed grand parent, who need slapped upside the head, to wake up to try to save them.

I have personally saved the lives of a number of people. I couldn't save the life of my own wife, who died of cancer. It was a most devastating experience, to stand by helplessly and watch her die. If only I could do something.

And here, is a grand parent, who is watching grand children, potentially dying, and doing nothing, even though there is an opportunity to do so.

I even recommended consulting an expert, Dr. Laura, if you remember.

But first you need to wake somebody up. And that may be a good swift kick in the butt, which I gave. It's called 'Tough Love'.

If it results in some constructive action, I would say that the lives of two kids are well worth the price of an insulted ego.

And as for you, what you wish to do is fine, if YOU do it, rather than foisting the problem off on others. Open your big open arms and extend your effort to get something accomplished YOURself. How about if I bring your husband a local orphan from here to raise. After all, he has decided to be a father, and that is what he is supposed to do. What do you think he would think of that? Imposing your own philosphy on yourselves? Youall decided to be parents, didn't you? And raising properly children is parents job.

I saw a lot of men DIE, literally, due to a lack of discipline. Undisciplined children turn into undisciplined men, and die. They often take others with thim.

Children need love, but they need to learn respect and discipline. Allowing to 'play in traffic', unrespectful and undisciplined is not 'loving' them.

[XBob]

123 - good post Pagey - it deserves repeating:

"The article states:...kids raised by authoritative parents, meaning loving moms and dads who set firm limits and stick to them, "excel academically, develop better social skills, feel good about themselves and are happier overall" than peers raised by lax or excessively harsh parents..."

That certainly is the way that it worked in my family and I was the youngest of 5, growing up in the 70's. It's embarrassing how 3 of my 4 my siblings have allowed their kids to walk all over them, but they don't act that way towards their parents when they visit my home, know that for a fact. It's an odd paradox that my neices and nephews really enjoy spending time visiting me too ,as I don't take any 'Lip' from them. (I gave up several years ago even mentioning it to my siblings, some people simply can't be helped you know.)"

[netmilsmom]

I am sorry about your wife.
Perhaps your control issue is the problem.
No one controls another's thoughts.

If you had daughters, you would understand.

As for the orphan from "here", where? You my FRiend do not know my back round. I don't throw up the amount of children I have taken care of or taught. I am saying that all of us are different and you will never sit in the original poster's shoes.

And you are too much into control to see that some times things are OUT of a person's control.

[netmilsmom]

>>It's an odd paradox that my neices and nephews really enjoy spending time visiting me too ,as I don't take any 'Lip' from them. (I gave up several years ago even mentioning it to my siblings, some people simply can't be helped you know.)"<<
This is a quote from you.

>>I feel that because you do not spend a ton of time with these kids (I think you said that), make it clear that certain rules are YOUR rules. They will behave a certain way <<
This is a quote from me in post 106.

You are so stubborn in the idea that you are right, that you are not even reading.

[XBob]

122 - Ah, that is where you are wrong:

"Sorry, your job was teaching a certain behavior in your classroom no matter what the parents had taught before.

You seem very bitter. "

My job was not teaching 'behaviour', my job was teaching chemistry and teaching biology. And the lack of disciplined behaviour in one or two students ruined the teaching of those subjects to the 25 or 30 well disciplined students.

No, I am not bitter, in fact I am still a teacher at heart, but I do get mad, particularly at people watch disasters happening and do nothing to prevent/stop them.

I view Palladin's post as a plaintiff call for help, which needs action rather than consolation and forgiveness. You are just reinforcing bad behaviour, rather than attempting to change it.

[netmilsmom]

And where exactly are you at?
With British spelling?

[netmilsmom]

Good Night Bob.

[XBob]

127 - >>It's an odd paradox that my neices and nephews really enjoy spending time visiting me too ,as I don't take any 'Lip' from them. (I gave up several years ago even mentioning it to my siblings, some people simply can't be helped you know.)"<<

actually, it just a repost of Pagey's post. And while I didn't really agree with that last part,(some people can't be helped) but I left it in.

Personally, I feel that those that can't be helped are the dead. But there are some that can't be helped by me (some of my men died, in spite of everything I tried, but then many lived). But I have found that I have helped some who were beyond the help of others.

Remember Edison, and the light bulb? And the 1000+ failures it took him to invent the electric light bulb? What if he had been like Palatin?

[XBob]

126-"As for the orphan from "here", where? You my FRiend do not know my back round. I don't throw up the amount of children I have taken care of or taught."

Well, that would be Texas. And you reinforce my point - you are recommending that palatin let 'others', who have neither the time, nor charter, nor care, to 'raise' the children - "let the schools raise them".

It is not the 'schools' charter to 'raise' children. It is their charter to 'educate' them. They do a pretty lousy job of 'raising' them. The point I was trying to make was that you want teachers to 'raise' the children, that is their job. So, I shot back, well, you have chosen the job as a parent 'netmilsMOM'. So, why is it not your job to raise them? I toss the challenge back at you - which you throw to the schools/teachers.

[XBob]

126-"And you are too much into control to see that some times things are OUT of a person's control. "

Perhaps this is true. I have found that things in my control generally are pretty well thought out and normally work pretty well. That philosophy got me numbers of awards for excellence in military and in civilian management, saving at times, many lives, and at other times, many millions of dollars.

However, at times I take on too much.

You are aware of the 80% rules - 80% of the people do 20% of the work and 20% of the people do 80% of the work.

And of that 20% - 80% of those do 20% of the 80% of the work, and 20% do 80% of the 80% of the work.

Meaning basically, that 5% of the people do 65% of the work.

So, when some just give things up as 'impossible', others go on and succeed at doing the 'impossible'.

Like an 'office philosophy' sign we used to have said, "We will complete your difficult job by tomorrow. Your impossible job will take till next week'.

[XBob]

127-">>I feel that because you do not spend a ton of time with these kids (I think you said that), make it clear that certain rules are YOUR rules. They will behave a certain way <<
This is a quote from me in post 106.

a quote I do agree with, as far as it goes..

but, you ended it with what I definitely disagree with:

"Society will dictate their behavior. If they act that way in school, something will change"

[XBob]

126-"I am sorry about your wife.
Perhaps your control issue is the problem. "

Thankyou. And that does bother me. Most things in my life, I control, and they work out well, or pretty well. But the most important thing, I had no control over, and it worked out badly. And all I could do was sit there, helpless to do anything, for the most important person in my life.

So, Palladin does make me very mad, as there is a lot to do, and that can be done to save 2 lives.

[Palladin]

Thank you for your post.

[XBob]

129 - "And where exactly are you at?
With British spelling?"

One of my weaknesses - I am a lousy speller to begin with. I spent a lot of time overseas with Brits and people who learned British english, and my wife was British schooled. So, I get them mixed up all the time. For a time I even developed a bit of a 'British' accent, accidentally.

It's not a great problem and Not high on my priority list.

[nickcarraway]

ping

[XBob]

136-"Thank you for your post."

Are you going to DO anything about the problem you have identified?

[fatima]

XBob,How is your xbox.