Worried dad fought a war of his own

The Commercial Appeal [Memphis, TN] ^ | March 19, 2004 | Laura Coleman Noeth

[archy]

Worried dad fought a war of his own

By Laura Coleman Noeth

March 19, 2004

For 10 years, Tony Ludlow learned how to be a Marine.

In the past year, Ludlow has learned how to be the father of a Marine.

Before the war in Iraq began a year ago, Ludlow, who enlisted in the Marines in 1975, thought he knew all he needed to know about patriotism, fear and focusing on the job at hand.

But, literally overnight, with CNN blasting from nearly every room of his Berclair home, Ludlow quickly learned that the work of a Marine's father is daunting when the son is fighting in a war.

When your child is so dramatically affected by political decisions, those decisions can be questioned, he's learned. When your child is in imminent danger, fear can overshadow even the strongest resolve about the mission, he now knows.

Matthew Ludlow, then 21, was among the first Marines entering Iraq when the fighting began. He entered the war traveling across the desert aboard amphibious vehicles designed for much shorter trips. He returned to the United States in July, re-enlisted and now teaches at Camp Lejeune, N.C.

"Looking back, it kinda looks like my behavior was extreme," the father said as he explained that he'd subsist on a few hours' sleep each night in the early weeks of the war, looking for his son's face on the television news, reading about the latest troop movements and attacks, feeling the worst fear a parent can feel.

"I was pretty much living on caffeine and No-Doz," he said. "I had the TV on 24/7. I saw him on TV a couple times and I kept the TV on because you don't want to miss an opportunity to see your child, when it could be the last time you see him."

When Matthew returned to the states last summer, it was his father with whom he could share his experience in a Marine-to-Marine kind of way.

"There were a lot of things he needed to share, but he didn't have many people he could share them with," said Ludlow, 46. "I listened a lot. Over time, there were fewer conversations."

Just as the war can't help but change the lives of those fighting, the experience of seeing a child fight the war does the same, said Ludlow who, while echoing his support for the war's mission, would like to see a better plan for bringing Americans home for good.

"It's one thing for me to go to war, it's something else to send your son. The effect of this war on me is that while I recognize the value of it, these are people's sons and daughters, brothers, husbands. I want to hear clear objectives from my government for this mission and I want to hear a reasonable exit strategy for when the mission is completed."

But, on a personal level, Ludlow's mission is the same as that of his son. "I take comfort in the same things my son takes comfort in, that he was part of a mission that was an extremely good thing, one that brought stability and democracy to people who haven't had them."

- Laura Coleman Noeth: 529-5853

[archy]

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[archy]

USMC, Navy Corpsmen, and families ping. Spread the word, Marines.

[Ben Chad]

"Looking back, it kinda looks like my behavior was extreme," the father said as he explained that he'd subsist on a few hours' sleep each night in the early weeks of the war, looking for his son's face on the television news, reading about the latest troop movements and attacks, feeling the worst fear a parent can feel.

Man can I relate to this article. I was up at 1:30 AM today scavaging for news about Marines in Iraq.

[archy]

Man can I relate to this article. I was up at 1:30 AM today scavaging for news about Marines in Iraq.

Yep. And it's no better for those who are there looking for an outlet for what's on their minds and their shoulders.

Misery's face defined war for Marine

By Laura Coleman Noeth
March 19, 2004

Tony Ludlow paced through his house and kept late-night CNN vigils while his son (above) was serving in Iraq. Like his son, Tony was a Marine.

On a scrap of dusty paper delivered by a desperate child in the desert, Matthew Ludlow saw how the war in Iraq would change his life forever.

The English wasn't good, but Ludlow, 22, needed to read only one word scrawled in crayon.

"Food," the child had written.

"I thought I was miserable over there," he said. "But when you can find yourself seeing a child running out, barefoot and with few clothes on, with a note in broken English asking for food, it gives you a real appreciation for the things you have in the United States."

And it crystallized the mission of war, of this particular war, for this middle-class young man, a member of Germantown High School's class of 2000.

The war that began a year ago today, he believes, is not about worldwide politics. It's about giving persecuted people a chance for better lives.

"I didn't know about starvation and misery until I saw it in the faces of those children. It changed my whole outlook on life, to be honest.

"My most memorable moment over there was seeing the delight in a young child's eyes when you can give them something like food or clean water, things you take for granted."

So there's a bit of advice for Ludlow's friends who gather with him when he's home on leave, advice about innocent-sounding expressions.

"I find myself getting angry over commonplace remarks like, 'I'm starving, let's go eat.' "

Having just given away his mother, Cindy Shriver, at her wedding in January, Ludlow left the United States, knowing he was about to go to war, telling himself it was a "hands-on opportunity to defend freedom," stifling the fear gnawing at his insides.

"I tried to suppress the fear. I didn't discuss it with my buddies. Surprisingly, your whole mind frame changes. You don't think about the big picture anymore. You anticipate being under fire. You say, 'If I do this I may die.' You just think about what you have to do right at that moment."

But, just as his fearful father, Tony Ludlow, paced the floors and kept late-night CNN vigils, his son acknowledged what could happen to him.

"I thought about death, I did. I had a stamped, addressed envelope in my pack to be sent to my family in the event of my death. I wrote thoughts I wanted to leave them with. I wrote and wrote for nine or 10 pages."

When his plane touched down in New York, Ludlow destroyed the letter. Soon afterward, he re-enlisted in the Marines, and now teaches logistics at Camp Lejeune, N.C. He plans to take college courses and eventually teach government or history to high school students.

And as he pursues those plans, he'll still see the faces of those children he left in Iraq and use the experience of war to plot his path in life.

"It definitely will affect me for the rest of my life. I will not take things for granted, and I'll look for a spouse who feels the same way I do, and I'll pass those ideas along to my children."

- Laura Coleman Noeth: 529-5853

[StarCMC]

I can relate as well -- we spent the bulk of our FL vacation last year in front of FoxNews -- we went to sleep with the TV on every night. I still comb FR and Fox for regular updates!

:o)

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Thank you. Great post.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

8 Marines "Going back into the brawl" ~ great speech, "Email from a buddy serving with the 3rd Marine Air Wing" ~ + letter from an Army NCO in Iraq, #17  | 3/18/04 | Major General Mattis

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

In the past year, Ludlow has learned how to be the father of a Marine.

Before the war in Iraq began a year ago, Ludlow, who enlisted in the Marines in 1975, thought he knew all he needed to know about patriotism, fear and focusing on the job at hand.

But, literally overnight, with CNN blasting from nearly every room of his Berclair home, Ludlow quickly learned that the work of a Marine's father is daunting when the son is fighting in a war.

---

 

REGIMENTAL PRAYER

Almighty, merciful, and loving Father,
you are the one who hears all our prayers and grants our petitions.

We ask you to remember, as we do,
the tremendous sacrifice made by those who went before us.
They have given their lives so that we might live and breathe freely.
We ask you to receive them into your hands.

Father, give us the strength and wisdom to learn from their example,
to uphold freedom and life at home and around the world.

Keep us vigilant as we guard the frontiers of freedom.

Give our leaders the wisdom and the strength to lead well.

Grant all of us courage and confidence.

Be, for all of us, troopers, a wise counsel in keeping peace
 and a strong shield for us against our enemies.

Oh heavenly Father, give us the determination
that the peace and freedom won at such a high price be lasting!

Father, hold all of the troopers in the palm of your almighty hand
 and protect them in the shadow of your wings.

Amen.

Adopted from the 2nd Armored Cavalry Regiment,

Regimental Prayer.

~  ~ 

[SAMWolf]

Bump

[boxerblues]

I was pretty much living on caffeine and No-Doz," he said. "I had the TV on 24/7. I saw him on TV a couple times and I kept the TV on because you don't want to miss an opportunity to see your child, when it could be the last time you see him."

A lot of parents can relate to this, when we couldn't find a TV it was the radio or FR. I had a very sympathetic boss who excused work policies for streaming video so I could see the latest.

[Alamo-Girl]

Bump!

[Radix]

That was a very good post, and I thank you for it, and you as well for the ping RC.

It comes very close to heart here, and but for a few alterations, I might have written something quite similar. I have not personally known combat, but I do know my son. I feel that I understand much of the sentiment expresssed.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

You are very welcome, Radix.

I'm sorry for the price you paid as a father with a son on the front lines, but I thank you for sharing your suffering, for helping to teach some of us an important lesson about war, and freedom. (Hugs.)

[archy]

It comes very close to heart here, and but for a few alterations, I might have written something quite similar. I have not personally known combat, but I do know my son.

It has very little to do with combat. For every combat arms line trooper in harms way, there are three or four others whose presence is required elsewhere, and that presence is preventing open hostilities filling the resulting power vacuum if they weren't there. Others are in training, or refitting with new equipment, getting ready for a change of role or climate.

And for each of all of those, there are between ten and fifteen others supporting them, the *tail* that keeps their *teeth* sharp and hopefully well-equipped. Others have administrative or logistical tasks common to any gathering of thousands of young bodies, or a small town of similar size. Most won't see combat, thank God, and most of those who do will be about as well-prepared to do so as is humanly possible: never quite enough, but close. But some of those others are not so well-prepared, and if by chance or unforeseen circumstance a little more of a piece of their war should come their way, they may have to improvise or make do as best as they can and fall back on the sometiomes sketchy or thin preparatory training they've had. And being Americans used to improvising, hot-rodding and ducttaping temporary fixes in place until better ones can be accomplished, most of the time they'll pull through pretty well: they have each other to fall back upon and to work with, and that too is about as good as it gets.

So yes, there's certainly cause for concern, and yes, a reasonable amount of worry too. Expending it to excess is a waste, however, and good soldiers- yes, Marines too- know better than to waste such resources. Gather it, bundle it up well-wrapped and store it in a private place where it can be retrieved if God forbid, there's good cause for a lot of worry all at once- as on 09/11. But if not, keep it well-contained, use a little every now and again to make sure that like ammunition, [which it is] it's fresh and usable if it is needed. And don't forget that your trooper not only has that supply chest with those contents, but must manage others as well, particularly the one stencilled *Fear.* Hopefully, they'll stay well-boxed and unneeded, if not, well, they're there for when appropriate for such occasions.

The enotions and sentiment come in varying amounts and styles for different folks with different sons or daughters in harm's way, like different-colored and various makes and models of vehicles speeding together on a superhighway. We're hoping for no nasty collissions or confusing traffic jams in fog or other nasty weather, but wrecks along that highway do sometimes occur. Have your troopie drive safely.

-archy-/-

[VOA]

bump

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Bump for lessons needed.