Fear for 2 More as Daughter Dies in Iraq

New York Times ^ | 4-12-04

[SJackson]

EW BERLIN, Wis., April 12 (AP) — With three daughters serving with the National Guard in Iraq, Jack and Lori Witmer had a Web site with photos from Baghdad, notes to home and messages of encouragement.

A recent entry said: "Keep praying! They're almost home!"

But a notice on the site dated Sunday had grim news: "We regret to inform you that Michelle Witmer was killed in action April 9th."

Ms. Witmer, 20, a private in the 32nd Military Police Company, died when her Humvee was attacked in Baghdad. Her family is hoping her sisters will not return to Iraq after this week's funeral. The military has said the decision is up to the soldiers.

"I can't live another year like I've lived this one," John Witmer said. "The sacrifice that this family's made can never be understood by someone who hasn't gone through it."

The sisters, Charity, Michelle's twin, and Rachel, 24, arrived home on Monday, two days before Michelle's funeral, and indicated they would consider their options, Mr. Witmer said. "In the end, it is going to be my girls' decision."

[fightu4it]

As the liberal media in this country increases it's attack on our President there will be a corresponding increase in the attacks on our troops in Iraq.

The time to make those responsible aware of the consequences of their actions is now, before any more troops are attacked.

[sinkspur]

"I can't live another year like I've lived this one," John Witmer said. "The sacrifice that this family's made can never be understood by someone who hasn't gone through it."

Actually, it can, Jack.

But, your girls are to be admired for their service, and we honor Michelle, who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

[SJackson]

If you'd like to be on or off this middle east/political ping list, please FR mail me.

Sisters Rachel (from left), 24, Charity, 19, mother, Lori, and Charity's twin Michelle Witmer share a hug Sunday in New Berlin. Rachel and Michelle returned home early Sunday morning from Iraq. Charity will ship out soon on a tour headed to the Middle East. Their father, John, is in the background.

Christmas comes early for soldiers' family

No matter what you think about how or why our leaders got us into this war, or the way they'll get us out, for that matter, you have to feel for the Witmer family.

Sending a child into war and harm's way is dreadful by any measure. But three soldier-daughters ending up in Iraq at the same time - it's more than any parent should have to bear.

Today is John and Lori Witmer's Christmas. They're celebrating out of necessity since their girls will be gone on Dec. 25. They're celebrating, nonetheless, because however briefly, they have their three daughters home together.

An Early Christmas

Sisters Rachel (from left), 24, Charity, 19, mother, Lori, and Charity's twin Michelle Witmer share a hug Sunday in New Berlin. Rachel and Michelle returned home early Sunday morning from Iraq. Charity will ship out soon on a tour headed to the Middle East. Their father, John, is in the background.

Here, and now, and hug-ably close.

They were first dispatched to Baghdad - near to each other, but in different platoons - last March, where their job has been training Iraqi police, patrolling streets and securing facilities. After 14 days at home, they must return for an uncertain period in this dangerous work.

Their sister and Michelle's twin, Charity, is a combat medic and sergeant who's shipping out by week's end. Her Company B of the Guard's 118th Medical Battalion will get a 1 p.m. send-off ceremony this afternoon at Waukesha West High School, then spend a month training at Fort Drum, N.Y., before heading to the Middle East, most likely Iraq.

First day together

On Sunday, as the three sisters spent their first hours together since Rachel and Michelle shipped out last March, they cried, held hands, wrapped their arms around each other, leaned their heads on each other's and their parents' shoulders. These siblings - and their two college-aged brothers, Tim and Mark - say they are not only family, but best friends.

"We're in the moment, and we are enjoying one another," said their mother, Lori, who leading up to their arrival last week shed her own tears of anxiety and excitement. Since two of her daughters were activated early this year, these have been difficult months as the changing face of the war has changed her family.

The daughters joined the National Guard - in 2000, 2001 and 2002 - each for their own reasons. Future financial aid for education was a big one, as was a search for direction, their parents believe.

"When you think National Guard, don't you think throwing sandbags on swollen riverbanks? That's what I thought," Lori said. Neither parent discouraged their daughters from entering the service, just as they didn't encourage military service for their two sons.

"I had no idea," Lori said, though she believes her daughters always knew active duty was a possibility. "It seemed like a great thing. We were at peace."

Though he confessed to some skepticism about the motives and preparedness for war and its aftermath in Iraq, it matters little now to John, their father.

"We're the boy with the finger in the dike," he said. "Whether we made the hole or not, it's there, and we have to keep our fingers in it because if we let go now, the toll in human tragedy would be way too high."

John knew Sept. 11, 2001, had changed the world, and he worried. Even more so when the role of reserve and national guard units began to change dramatically, and for longer tours midstream.

How will daughters change? What worries them - after their daughter's safety, of course - is how this will change them.

Most difficult, Lori said, is "the loss of innocence of your kids. You just pray that they come back stronger and they don't come back damaged."

After basic training, "each of my girls came out of the military with a maturity and confidence," Lori said. The family is extremely proud of them, their fellow soldiers and the work they do for freedom.

Yet Charity, who has not yet seen what her two sisters have seen, knows from the phone calls, e-mails and now, her precious moments with them this week, that they have changed.

"They've seen and heard and experienced things that are just life-changing," she said. The three had always been so close, and so similar in experience, and "this was such a huge chunk of their lives that I was missing." So far, anyway.

John said his just-returned daughters seem more grown up and mature with a worldly perspective and insight that is bringing him new understanding.

With very little sleep and coming from an emotional Sunday worship service in which Rachel and Michelle, in particular, prayed for their military family back in Iraq, the two tried to explain what they experience every day. It was difficult to convey - from the massive cultural differences that corrode trust to the casualties and destruction of war and the poverty through which so many suffer.

"You become somewhat desensitized," Rachel said, "but you have to in order to get through it." Yet as difficult as the job has been so far, without it, "I never would have realized how privileged I am and how lucky we are to have been born here."

More than than anything, these three women soldiers said the strong support they've felt from family, friends and Americans they don't even know is what keeps them going.

"Support your troops regardless of your political views," Charity pleaded. "We're doing this for everybody. The reason we're doing this is so people can have that freedom to disagree."

As difficult as it is to explain what they have lived through, it was easy for Rachel and Michelle to talk about the meaning of home.

"We got off the plane and couldn't believe how sweet the air smells," Rachel said.

They couldn't wait for a hot bath, a hair salon appointment, a flush toilet and home cooking. And, certainly, every moment with each other.

"I appreciate my family more," Michelle said. "You value every moment. It's a gift."

[SJackson]

The Family Website

[teletech]

True American Hero's

[Victoria Delsoul]

How sad. May she rest in peace.

Thanks for posting this, Jackson.

[sinkspur]

The daughters joined the National Guard - in 2000, 2001 and 2002 - each for their own reasons. Future financial aid for education was a big one, as was a search for direction, their parents believe.

I'm puzzled as to how entering the National Guard, a one-weekend-a-month deal, would provide "direction."

One of my boys joined the Army, and served two years in Korea, and two in Kosovo. He's now a Dallas police officer. He joined the Army out of boredom.

[janette]

How many more and (truly, think out of the usual and think deeper) tell me for what, please.......I'm just very upset about all these precious children dying . Every day more and more.......what else has to happen????!!!!

[gilliam]

It's up to the girls. They can ask to be reassigned and the policy is to reassign them out of the battle zone. But the girls have to ask, not the mother.

[Finalapproach29er]

Playing this story big here in MSP. Sen. Coleman is going to intercede with the Pentagon.

I don't know how I feel about this special treatment.

[janette]

that sounds good an logical!!!

[Amerigomag]

Sending a child into war and harm's way is dreadful by any measure. But three soldier-daughters ending up in Iraq at the same time - it's more than any parent should have to bear.

Don't know who to attribute this comment to ... but ...

Appropriate when our military was conscription. Quite a different matter in an all volunteer army.

The three daughters are in Iraq because they wanted to be in Iraq. I've got to believe that their parents had some input into the decision to join the military.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

I don't either. It doesn't help that my local talk radio station has been airing this story all day every half hour on their national news break.

[janette]

My kindly advice is, just try to put yourself into their shoes....just try and than you might begin to understand.
Patriotism is one side and theoretic in your mind, the other side is reality and it truly feels different....,
I just don't want to influence your way of thinking, just telling you, how I approach heavy problems.. :-)

[armymarinemom]

I do hate the liberal media spin on this one. The decision is up the the soldiers. This isn't the first time that people have been reassigned after the loss of a sibling. The offer is actually made to siblings during bereavement leave by the military.

[rogueleader]

This brings to mind Abraham Lincoln's words about a "great sacrifice laid down on the altar of freedom." We all owe Michelle Witmer and her family our gratitude and condolences, and I would like it to be known that I have those feelings of gratitude and sadness, and a need to comfort her family now.

I don't think the family's wish can be granted. This is kind of like the movie Saving Private Ryan, where only one sibling is left, and the last one must be saved. If we gave out a "one sibling died, the rest get to go home" pass, or a "one sibling is left, that one gets to go home" pass, along the lines of Saving Private Ryan. it would lead to a breakdown in the military. The military is what protects the country and guards our freedom. The military protects all of us, and every family in the country.

The best solution is to keep women out of combat roles. Combat roles involve killing the enemy. They are just not the place for women.

[Valin]

This story is all over the news here.

[Parmy]

But, it was the liberals in this country, including the liberal media, that wanted women in the Army, even if that meant combat. They said that a woman could do everything and anything a man could. They asked, "Why shouldn't women have the same opportunities in the Armed Services as men?"

The parents should write to Patsy Schroeder who was a congresswomen who really pressed for this a number of years ago.

The problem with liberals is that when the consequences of their decisions come back to them they don't like them.

[annyokie]

Get a grip. It could be 300-500 a week ala VietNam. They are doing a fine job and no war is bloodless.

Stop watching network news.