Posted on 4/22/2004, 1:10:59 AM by brittgillette
When I graduated from college a few years ago, I faced a job market mired in the mediocrity of the Clinton Recession. The stock market was on a downward trajectory, unemployment was climbing, and interest rates were rising. Despite graduating cum laude with distinction in the marketing program at James Madison University, few employers wanted to take a chance on an unproven 22-year-old with zero workplace experience. Like myriad college graduates who trod before me, I faced the inevitable conundrum: Employers want experience; but to get experience, one must first be employed. Such a circumstance creates ideal conditions for an Oprah-like crying spell or a "quarter-life crisis".
But in my case, such a crisis never materialized, because unlike many of my graduating peers, I arrived in the workplace armed with additional and invaluable experience - an ongoing education at The Rush Limbaugh Institute For Advanced Conservative Studies (where no degrees are ever conferred). Listening to The Rush Limbaugh Show provided me with the attitude necessary for success. In fact, it provided more of an education than grade school, high school, and college combined. Above all, I learned that in America room exists for each of us to achieve our dreams, and that's the most valuable lesson of all.
My story begins when I was 12-years-old, and I discovered The Rush Limbaugh Show on AM radio. Tuning in while I sorted baseball cards, the show became a way to escape the rigors of the smothering mid-day summer heat. At first, I listened because the show was funny. I liked the host's unique brand of humor and Paul Shanklin's musical parodies. It was like a political Saturday Night Live five afternoons a week. But as the days passed (and it takes at least six weeks for all you new listeners), I came to accept several rules and universal truths espoused by the host that have thus served me well in life. Two are relevant to my story, and the first is a prerequisite to the second.
Rule #1: "Thou shall not participate in recessions."
Rule #2: "The United States is the greatest, freest nation on the face of the earth. And the beauty of America is that if you can't find a job, then you can create one."
While a continually fruitless job search frustrated others, I remained hopeful and optimistic. Schooled in the concepts of hard work, rugged individualism, and the entrepreneurial spirit, I set out on a quest to create my own job.
My problem then became what kind of job to create. That's when I remembered something else Rush said, "Find something that you're passionate about, do it until you're the best at it, and the rewards will follow." At the time, I was passionate about two things in particular - writing and The Rush Limbaugh Show. So naturally, I decided to create my own job by writing a book about The Rush Limbaugh Show.
I wanted to create something the show's audience could identify with, a product that captured the essence of the dittohead experience. That vision ultimately lead to The Dittohead Guide To Adult Beverages, a book that combines the show's trademark irreverent humor with its own distinct language (the Limbaugh Lexicon), incorporating the two into a series of humorous "adult beverage" recipes fans of the show will find both hilarious and irresistible.
And trust me, if you're a dittohead, you will find this book irresistible. Because unlike past attempts to capitalize on the millions of dittoheads dotting the Fruited Plain, this book was not put together by a liberal Manhattan publishing executive out to make a quick buck. It was created by me - a proud, card-carrying dittohead who has spent over half his life immersed in the infectious airwaves of EIB. So have no doubt - you will love this book!
As such, you will probably purchase this book, which leads us to a third important economic concept (and one you will find difficult to comprehend if you are a Democrat).
Rule #3: "The economy is not a zero sum game. One person's success creates boundless opportunity for all those around him."
If you don't believe this, then you should, because the very existence of my book is proof. Absent the enormous success of Rush Limbaugh, the creation of my book would be utterly impossible. However, because of Rush Limbaugh's enormous success, such a book does exist. And I'm determined that it play a leading role in the expansion of the Bush economic juggernaut. I'm determined to bring this book from the obscurity of the self-publishing world to the forefront of every bookstore in America. I'm determined to see this book picked up by a major publishing house, and I'm determined to get Rush Limbaugh to write the foreword and agree to split the author royalties so he has a personal incentive to push the book on his show (an entrepreneurial concept I learned by listening). Furthermore, I'm determined to see the astonished looks on all those art & croissants crowd liberal elitists when they hold this book in their hands and say, "I never read this. I'm certain none of my friends ever read it! How did this get to #1 on the New York Times bestseller list?"
In America, you don't have to be dependent on the government, or even the economy, for a job. You only need the confidence to rely on yourself. The product you now hold in your hands is proof that you can create your own job. But don't be misled. It wasn't easy. It was hard work. It's taken over three years to learn the ins-and-outs of the publishing industry, and I'm still learning. The Dittohead Guide To Adult Beverages has been through several drafts, two of them under a pen name. Along the way, I worked several low-paying jobs far below my skill level so that I could devote more free time to the pursuit of excellence in my chosen field. I experienced numerous failures, but despite the obstacles, I persevered. I reached inside myself and found that I was capable of far more than I originally believed.
In addition to this book, I've written a novel about the war on terror (Conquest of Paradise), and I'm currently working on a second. Writing novels for a living is my idea of the American Dream, and each day I live that dream. I wake up, get out of bed, and do exactly what I love to do.
And although I alone am responsible, I credit Rush Limbaugh for teaching the principles of success to a young skull full of mush. As a result, I feel more than qualified to answer Time magazine's infamous January 1995 headline, "Is Rush Limbaugh Good For America?" The answer is yes. Yes, he is. My life is living proof...
Many Thanks and Mega-Dittos,
Britt Gillette, Author of The Dittohead Guide To Adult Beverages
www.brittgillette.com
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But not this time. I wish we could graft your grasp of the American "work ethic" to others in your age group. Maybe your success, and I wish you great success, will make that happen.
I bought a copy of your book.
I observed from reading your initial post (and thought to myself) that you have very good command of the English language, very well versed with the written language.
That's up to Jim. Recently, there was a book advertised here that Jim wrote the forward for. It's called "Hillary's Secret War". I'm waiting for my copy.
Someday maybe someone will write a book about Jim and FreeRepublic. Mybe it will be our young writer of this thread.
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