Welcome to the party

e-mail | 4/27/04 | e-mail

[pookie18]

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and favored re-distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican which she expressed openly.

One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and more welfare programs. In the middle of her heart-felt diatribe, based upon the lectures she had from her far-left professors at school, he stopped her and asked her point blank, how she was doing in school.

She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. She had to study all the time, and never had time to go out and party like other people. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because she spent her time studying. She was taking a difficult curriculum.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Mary."

She replied, "Mary is barely getting by", she continued, "all she has is barely a 2.0 GPA," adding, "and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies." But to explain further she continued emotionally, "But Mary is so very popular on campus, college for her is a blast, and she goes to all the parties all the time and very often doesn't even show up for classes because she is too hung over."

Her father then asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to your friend who only had a 2.0." He continued, "That way you'll both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter - visibly shocked by the father's suggestion - angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I worked really hard for mine, I did without, and Mary has done little or nothing. She played while I worked hard!"

The father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

[pookie18]

Old, but cute!

[mel]

But timeless.

[momfirst]

I Love It! I haven't seen this before. I'm waiting for the opportunity to use this at my college. ;-)

[Old Sarge]

A sweet fairy tale.

For as we all know, the collegiates of today will never be anything but Socialist.

[tioga]

precious!

[2banana]

The problem is that most college students are "Mary" types...

[jla]

I myself have never heard this before, (probably because I'm not as old as someone like Mudboy Slim), but I think it's pretty good!

[vpintheak]

Although bombarded and surrounded by lefties, there are many more conservatives in UAF than socialists. I can attest to that. Of course it is Alaska.

[Corin Stormhands]

...I'm not as old as someone like Mudboy Slim...

Who amongst us is???

[jla]

hehehe

[lilylangtree]

How to be a Good Democrat! (You may add your own observations and remember: "Good" is relative.)

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat, than US nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese
communists or Arab terrorists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of Denver, Miami, Seattle and San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the institution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. And finally, you have to believe that this letter is part of a vast right wing conspiracy.

---

Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the Rock Creek Parkway when she tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to her, 3 kids who were fishing pulled her out of the water. She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid says, "I want to go to Disneyland." Hillary says, "No problem, I'll take you there on my special senator's airplane."

The second kid says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." Hillary says, "Great, I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!!"

The third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!"

Hillary is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you're handicapped." The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"

[Protagoras]

If only the Republican party stood for that. But alas, the "new" Republican party PROPOSES new wealth transfer schemes and runs on them proudly.

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

It's a parable of sorts. And I've already sent this out by e-mail to some friends who I know will appreciate it and use it further, so thank you for posting it here.

[afraidfortherepublic]

Well, I'm way older than M Slim, and I never heard this joke before either. Cute example.

[Red Phillips]

A fairy tale indeed. Here is the real version.

Daughter protests, "That would not be fair!"

The Father, being a loyal Republican, says, "You're right Honey, that would not be fair. Therefor, I will propose a less objectionable GPA redistribution. Instead of transferring 1.0 points of your GPA, we will only transfer 0.5."

The Daughter again protests, "But that would still not be fair. None of my GPA should be redistributed,and the Dean has no right or authority to redistribute it anyway."

The Daughter's Uncle, a real conservative, says, "You're right Honey. Welcome to the Constitution Party!"

[NicknamedBob]

"...I'm not as old as someone like Mudboy Slim..."
"Who amongst us is???"

Um. That would be me.

[Blood of Tyrants]

Yep, and the "Marys" would absolutely LOVE the plan.

[momfirst]

Great list! Cutting, pasting, printing, and keeping handy for future use (if you don't mind). I particularly like, and will most likely be able to use often, numbers 6 and 19 where I live.

[lilylangtree]

Have fun with it. I rec'd via email in December 2003 and just kept it for future use. What's even more amusing is that all of these are right on target. :)

[Treasa]

I'd forgotten this one, Thanks for the reminder, never know when I might need it. :)