Kerry Campaigns With His Butler

NewsMax.com ^ | 4/28/04 | Carl Limbacher and NewsMax.com Staff

[kattracks]

Beacon Hill blue blood John Kerry likes to portray himself as the presidential candidate of the common man. But there's one common man he finds indispensable on the campaign trail: his butler.

Like a scene out of the old British drama "Upstairs Downstairs," Kerry would be helpless without his trusty manservant Marvin Nicholson by his side, who stands ready to cater to his master's every whim, according to the New York Times today.

"When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm ready," Nicholson told the Times.

Of Nicholson's omnipresence on the campaign trail, the paper noted, "Mr. Kerry is comfortable being catered to."

Like any good butler, Nicholson comes to his job well prepared to serve the Boston Brahmin politico at a moments notice. Among the items Nicholson carries at all times:

* Loose change - apparently in case the husband of millionairess Teresa Heinz wants to leave one of his notoriously meager tips.

* Tylenol, Advil, Advil Liquid Gels and Advil Sinus pills - lest continuing questions about his Vietnam War record give him a migraine.

* Swedish hand cream - because good old American-made Vaseline Intensive Care just isn't good enough.

* Halls cough drops - in case the silver spoon in Kerry's begins to irritate.

* A Ziplock bag with Kerry's favorite PB & J sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.

* Scope mouthwash, Handiwipes, two packs of Band-Aids, a sewing kit, a can of diet milkshake [Kerry prefers strawberry], a tube of Blistex and a myriad of other accouterments that the hoi poloi who can't afford a butler must provide for themselves.

And for catering to the candidate's every whim, the fabulously wealthy Heinz-Kerrys pay Nicholson a wildly generous (by Kerry's standards) $45,000 annually.

[Blood of Tyrants]

And Tarayza's former husband was a Republican who EARNED it (or at least part of it).

[AmericanMade1776]

Teresa only pays him 45,000 a year to demean himself like that...to carry a peanut butter sandwich around in a bag for John Kerry. Sheeesh..GROW UP JOHN KERRY MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN PEANUT BUTTER JAM SANDWICH.

[mombonn]

$45,000 - I'd rather be on food stamps!

[mombonn]

That list should include a package of condoms in case of a bimbo eruption.

I had a hard enough time understanding the attraction to clintbilly. That kerrezzzzzzy would be blessed with a bimbo eruption is waaay beyond my imagination.

He's just icky.

[nutmeg]

ping!

[Brimack34]

Kerry should learn from Hillery. Thats what the secrete service is for. Save a buck for the Rich.

[Yaelle]

Kerry at the urinal: "Marvin!! I'm done! Zip me up!"

[Yaelle]

That photo of the manservant bending down to let Massa Kerry use his back as a drawing board is Photoshopped, right?? That CANNOT be real.

[sine_nomine]

"Senator Kerry is a kind master. He hardly ever beats me."

[dennisw]

That photo of the manservant bending down to let Massa Kerry use his back as a drawing board is Photoshopped, right?? That CANNOT be real.
_________________________

It's real and accompanies the NYTimes article ...... you can follow the URL posted.

[Freemyland]

Kerry at the urinal: "Marvin!! I'm done! Zip me up!"

But don't forget to shake.

[Former Proud Canadian]

Totally unbelievable. This guy doesn't have a chance.