Posted on 07/08/2004 7:31:52 AM PDT by .cnI redruM
When Dennis Kucinich unveiled his Grandfather Twilight Endorsement, I figured the Democrats had ridden the Ozzie Osbourne Crazy Train to the final railhead over the rainbow. Now we have John Deadwards holding courtroom seances. Sean Hackbarth, AKA The American Mind, provides us with an ample Fisking.
Edwards' abortion problem comes from a winning trial 19 years ago where he stood "before a jury and channeled the words of an unborn baby girl." Two NY Times reports went on to describe Edwards' closing argument:
Referring to an hour-by-hour record of a fetal heartbeat monitor, Mr. Edwards told the jury: "She said at 3, `I'm fine.' She said at 4, `I'm having a little trouble, but I'm doing O.K.' Five, she said, `I'm having problems.' At 5:30, she said, `I need out.' "
But the obstetrician, he argued in an artful blend of science and passion, failed to heed the call. By waiting 90 more minutes to perform a breech delivery, rather than immediately performing a Caesarean section, Mr. Edwards said, the doctor permanently damaged the girl's brain.
"She speaks to you through me," the lawyer went on in his closing argument. "And I have to tell you right now — I didn't plan to talk about this — right now I feel her. I feel her presence. She's inside me, and she's talking to you."
Many Right-To-Life advocates will no doubt ask the Veep wannabe what he thinks he would hear from an unborn child having an abortionist's vaccuum attached to it's cranium. He has planted the axiom that the unborn child spoke to him from the womb. That would imply sentient thought and self-awareness.
If the poor child felt pain when it couldn't escape the womb fast enough, imagine what having the brain sucked right out of it's scalp would feel like. Perhaps, the typical fetus prefers a slice of lime with the saline solution. Someone should ask Swami Deadwards and find out.
Then there's the whole biological issue of Edwards feeling her presence inside of him. He's not only a gifted attorney, he's also a natural wonder. And not just in his own mind, I might add. The whole transcript needs to be played verbatim in a Bush/Cheney add.
I'd volunteer to channel Edwards -- except for the fact that I might someday need the two-thirds of my brain they'd have to remove...
Wait, I'm picking up something --
Scruples. Scruples?
I'm a trial lawyer. I don't need no stinking scruples!
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