It was a dark and stormy night . . .

29.58N, 95.21W ^ | 7/17/04 | Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

[Petronski]

Disconsolate and mere moments from impact, Iris recounted the misfortunate timing of her brake failure as her faith in advertising left her soul with a whoosh: "I guess Avis doesn't really try harder."

[Physicist]

"Robert," he ejaculated, "Robert...Robert...Robert...Robert...Robert...Robert...Robert...I've heard that name before."

[annyokie]

Marissa stirred her latte and rued the fact that her mother still couldn't use the word "myriad" properly in her discourse. Especially today.

[Joe 6-pack]

"Medic!!!" screamed the dashing young naval officer. Swiss finishing school, Yale and it had all come down to this...a splinter in his pinky in the middle of this oppressive hell that was the 'Nam.

[NutCrackerBoy]

In watermelon sugar the deeds were done, and done again, in watermelon sugar.

[MadIvan]

My flat is shaking with the sound of my laughter. Well done!

Regards, Ivan

[avenir]

"Gummed nearly to death in the maw of his own indecision..."

LOL!!! When you're bad, you're good.

[Happygal]

Everyone agreed that Whoopi was never going to graduate from charm school.

[Mike Bates]

Everyone agreed that Whoopi was never going to graduate from charm school.

With a face like hers, obedience school was the best she could hope for.

[RightWingAtheist]

It was hot, hotter than anyone expected to be in the Northeast.

[avenir]

"Phil sat at the jolly cafe, solemnly regarding his brioche. The little top-knot always reminded him of Melissa's breasts."

Bwahahahaha!!!

[Kay Syrah]

Jake smiled remembering the moment he defaced the Slim
Fast advertisement with a can of spray on hair.

[Petronski]

Major Daniels could have understood meeting his demise with hot steel--shot in the chest during a hopeless-but-noble charge--or cold steel--at the end of a bout of cunning swordsmanship--but he had never imagined lukewarm steel. Yet there he lay dying, having been kicked in the head by his trusty steed, Daisy.

[avenir]

"...as her faith in advertising left her soul with a whoosh: "I guess Avis doesn't really try harder."

Hilarious. Thank you for these (you're cranking them out).

[Happygal]

Woofi? ;-)

[NutCrackerBoy]

George looked out over the parking lot with a lofty air.

[Mike Bates]

Ouch! That'll teach me to keep my big, fat mouth shut. Well, maybe. :)

[EllaMinnow]

"Yes, Yes, I'll be your running mate" I gasped as he dug his shrapnel scarred hands into my Brooks Brothers shirt and I struggled for breath as his Pepto-Bismol pink lips closed in on mine for the kiss of consummation.

[struwwelpeter]

The colonel opened the coffee tin and noticed that there was no more than a teaspoon remaining. He took a pot from the fire, poured out half the water onto the dirt floor, then scraped out the can, dumping into the pot the last bits of coffee and bits of rust.

--- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Nobody writes to the Colonel

[fish hawk]

The nice looking, but obnoxious lawyer, brushed his sandy brown hair to one side and said, "wait, I'm getting a message from the dead little girl"........