Please let me know if you want on or off my Pro-Life Ping List.
Posted on 07/19/2004 6:47:25 AM PDT by dead
Ginger Ekselman, who once had an abortion, plans to confront Julia Black's controversial documentary.
Thank you, Julia Black. Even if watching your film, My Foetus, is the hardest thing I ever do, I know I have to do it. Like you, I grew up strongly pro-choice, in the era of women's liberation. Like you, I found out I was pregnant in my early 20s, at the end of my degree. Like you, I had an abortion.
I was majoring in women's studies at the time. I thought I knew about abortion. A close friend had done her social work placement in an abortion centre. I had worked as a phone counsellor at a women's crisis line. Some of my friends had had abortions. I saw it almost as a rite of passage.
It was only as I was slipping into unconsciousness from the anaesthetic that I realised. Until that moment the word had always been "foetus". I had had a stressful few weeks, trying to work out what to do, cope with morning sickness, finish my degree, go to work, and keep everything a secret. But as I was slipping under from the injection, suddenly, for the first time since I knew I was pregnant, my mind became clear. I thought: "I'm killing my baby." Then I was lying on my side, with the nurse calling my name, and it was over, and it was too late.
After the abortion I did not return to the life I had before. Instead, I developed phobias. I became afraid of heights. I couldn't walk up mountains. I couldn't ride as a passenger in a car. I became very scared of social situations. I spent a friend's birthday locked in the restaurant toilet. I cut off from everyone. I gave up my job and further study. I stopped answering the phone. I stopped getting out of bed.
I contacted the Royal Women's Hospital, as they had offered support after the termination. They referred me to a community health centre, where I went on a waiting list. After several months I saw a social worker, fresh out of uni, who said, "I haven't had an abortion. Tell me, what's it like?" I returned to the Royal Women's and was told they couldn't offer any more support. To this day I can't go there without shaking from anxiety.
I believed what I had been told about abortion. I believed in my right to choose, that this was a hard-won right thanks to my feminist predecessors. I believed that what was growing in my body was a foetus.
I attended counselling at the Royal Women's to help me make my choice. I understood the physical procedure, about not having a bath in case of infection. I called the Council of Single Mothers to find out if I could afford a child. From my work at the women's crisis line, I knew which unplanned pregnancy support services were government-run and "unbiased". I knew which phone line to avoid, as it was run by right-to-lifers. I knew they gave "biased" information. I knew to avoid the "emotive" language and images the right-to-life movement used. I believed I was, and did my best to be, well informed.
Afterwards, I realised I had not been well informed at all. If anything, I had been misinformed. At no point had I been told that going through an abortion could be extremely psychologically distressing. I did not know that women's lives could fall apart the way mine did as a result. The "unbiased" information and language, supposedly feminist, did not make me feel empowered. It denied my truth, and saved society from the inconvenience of another single mother.
I can't tell other women whether or not they should have their babies, but I do strongly encourage them to know the reality of abortion if they are considering having one. I am not a Christian, or a right-to-lifer, but I do know that it was my baby that I killed.
To find out that you are pregnant when you didn't plan to be is a big thing. You are faced with an intense choice, possibly the most significant choice a human being can face: have a child or have an abortion. There is no compromise, no trial period, no thinking time. Either way your life will dramatically change. You need all the support and knowledge you can get. There is no turning back if you get it wrong. You have to live with it for the rest of your life. It is beyond me why pro-choice organisations would be against women being able to make informed decisions.
Five years on, there are days when I don't think about the child I don't have, but they are rare. I am going to find watching My Foetus very challenging. To be honest, I feel terrified. But that doesn't mean I should avoid it. Nothing is resolved through denial or escapism. We know this to be true of addictions, domestic violence, sexual abuse ... the list goes on. By watching My Foetus I hope to be able to acknowledge, grieve and eventually let go of my unborn child and heal.
Ginger Ekselman is a freelance writer who also works as a student counsellor at a Melbourne secondary school. My Foetus is screening on ABC's Compass on August 9 at 10pm.
Wow....
Its unfortunate that she had to have an abortion to learn the truth. However, at least she knows and perhaps her story can at least show a few women how horrible abortion is as it was first-hand.
I can't help thinking that a person in the throes of Post-abortion Syndrome is a poor choice to counsel adolescents! She needs to get real psychological help, not watch a film.
You've got the list, and this is worthy.
My guess is this is Australian Broadcasting Corp. or some such, NOT the American Brodcasting Corp.
We couldn't allow such blatant propaganda in America in an election season...
well? If you let other people tell you what to do, you end up furthering THEIR agendas. You become a pawn in their end games. If you had a mind of your own maybe this whole thing wouldn't have happenned, eh?
Notice that not one time does she mention the father or the grandparents - all of whom were also traumatized by her actions.
It's still all about HER.
I hope she suffers the rest of her life.
I've known several women who had an abortion and they all tell pretty much the same story. They considered it tissue and was later racked by guilt when they realized that they had killed a baby--theirs.
That's an awful thing to say. What she did was wrong and can never be re-done. And yes, like you observe, it's all about her. But sometimes God uses these incidents over a period of time to transform people. I hope she continues to get help and discovers both forgiveness and the Creator of that babe. God wants ALL of us to be reconciled to Him. It was no accident that one Jesus' crucification mates was a murderer. God forgives us all!
Afterwards, I realised I had not been well informed at all. If anything, I had been misinformed.
My dear, you chose the option that fitted your wishes, and made the effort to avoid any information that might change your mind. When you confront that perhaps you can heal. I am sorry for your pain.
Are there any Australian FReepers out there who will record this program for me? If so, please send private reply.
Nice, real nice. Very Christian attitude you've got there.
Regardless of what you hope, she will suffer for the rest of her life. Just because she didn't mention the father involved, the grandparents robbed of progeny, or any children she may now have who have been deprived of siblings doesn't mean she doesn't keep them in mind and heart. You have been given a brief glimpse of the pain she is living with. You have no idea of her 24/7 pain. Are you speaking from any kind of experience? I am. Not a single day goes by that I don't consider what I've taken from my children, from my own siblings, from my parents, and especially from the men I've been involved with. If you want to know the full scope of horrific pain which follows an abortion, you'd best be prepared to keep reading for the rest of your life. And you still won't be able to comprehend what some of us go through...every single day.
Sheesh!
That's an awful thing to say. What she did was wrong and can never be re-done. And yes, like you observe, it's all about her. But sometimes God uses these incidents over a period of time to transform people. I hope she continues to get help and discovers both forgiveness and the Creator of that babe. God wants ALL of us to be reconciled to Him. It was no accident that one Jesus' crucification mates was a murderer. God forgives us all!
Well said Twigs!! I couldn't agree with you MORE!!!!
Probably not the best choice, but...
If your daughter became pregnant and, for whatever reason, she felt she couldn't come to you for advice and decided instead to speak with a counselor, would you rather she see one who has been traumatized by abortion or by someone who will point her to the nearest Planned Unpregnancy? I am saying this hypothetically--I know you are a great mom and I am certain that your kids value your judgement above all others. Not all kids are fortunate enough to have parents so approachable, though.
Even the mere suggestion that an abortion *may* cause severe psychological traumas sends the femiNAZI's over the edge.
Not for nothing is Satan called the Accuser.
Please let me know if you want on or off my Pro-Life Ping List.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.