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The Democrats are Going to get a Bounce out of This? The Convention Stinks
opinion | 7-27-2004 | brianbaldwin

Posted on 07/27/2004 7:47:41 PM PDT by Brian_Baldwin

The Democrats are Going to get a Bounce out of This? The Convention Stinks.

The Italian philosopher Benedetto Croce remarked that "the wood out of which Pinocchio is carved is humanity itself". Sounds great, and, sounds stupid at the same time. Pontificating, meaningful yet meaningless blather, that sounds like a speech. Sort of like, what we heard from Ted Kennedy tonight. I swear to God, I think Ted was reading us his acceptance speech for the 1980 nomination, which he never got to give because he lost it to Jimmy the Peanut Carter.

He pulls out the old speech, tries to wipe off the Old Bushmills stain, fog horns of which delivery he still has to memory, and sort of reminisces that this is his chance to finally deliver it. The Soft Ball buy on MSNBC acts like it’s actually a good speech, in fact he almost calls it historic in elegance. Blondie sure covered the 2000 election well for MSNBC, but he really stinks this time around. Historic? Historic alright. Over 20 years old, and it didn’t sound new even back then when Ted wasn’t so fat and never got to give it. It didn’t mean anything then, it doesn’t now, and I think I already forgot the most pertinent points.

Howard Dean told us tonight about the guy who “sold his bicycle for Democracy”. I guess what Howard really meant was the kid sold his bicycle for Howard Dean, or the Democratic Party or something. I mean, if he sold his bicycle for Democracy, well, he sold it, . . . so we all have Democracy, right? Thanks for the Democracy, kid, and for your sacrifice. Maybe you can claim a purple heart? But in regards to bikes and Democracy, there is no doubt in my mind, there are more than a few Democrats who would sell their Democracy for a bicycle. That they would do.

I thought perhaps Howard Dean would give one of the better speeches of the Convention. But he sure didn’t. In fact, for a minute there, I thought he was going to start naming off the States again.

Nuclear While Intoxicated.

Well, it was better than Ted’s speech.

Let Freedom Ring! Obama! A small village in Kenya. Herding goats. The suffering of your ancestors. But only the Democrats can bring that opportunity for you. Only them. Otherwise . . . slavery days. Yes sir, it’s like you said Osama, I mean Obama. Big dreams. Moved West. All the way to Hawaii. And now, we can keep the dream alive, and with an African name. We can keep the dream alive. But only if we defeat what Ted Kennedy said we need to Fear. Only if we can defeat what Ted told us we need to fear the most.

George Bush.

Not the terrorists, not those who would take our bicycle away. No. Only if we defeat what we fear the most – only if we defeat George Bush. Only then can we can think what we think, without a knock on the door. Or tanks in our village.

You know, like the Democrats have been telling us this week – during the Clinton years, we had peace. We didn’t have war. And we were not unilateral. If there were tanks, it was tanks of all nations, we worked with our world partners. Like those tanks in Waco. We had the support of the French on that. It wasn’t unilateral tanks. It was global tanks. Janet Reno. She’s a symbol of peace.

And that is what John Kerry will bring us, for America, again. A New France for All Americans.

If we send planes, tanks, we will only do it, when we get France on our team. And then, only if those planes are bombing Serbians for example, only if those bombs help Muslims for example, like in Kosovo. If it’s not in our interests, then, and only then, it’s ok. And, if it’s in the interest of the French.

Because, when we drop bombs on the Serbians, or Christians, or folks in Waco and stuff like that, even if it’s during the Clinton Administration, it isn’t war. No. Because, when Clinton was President – there wasn’t any war. Clinton didn’t lie. We had the respect of the world then. The French, for example. They respected us. And now they don’t. And, it’s a disgrace. This is the message of the convention.

Arab-American families are geing rounded up. That’s what Obama said.

Don’t worry. Out of many, one. Obama and the Democrats, they will make sure, make sure, no Arabs will be rounded up in this country. No sir.

Because we know what’s it’s all about. The Republicans want to round up Africans, with Federal agents in the library and all, round up those Africans here next. Yes sir. First it’s the Library. Then, it’s the Black Church.

My God. Keep it up Obama. Daktari Savage. I hope America is watching. Watching you. America is pretty fascist place, as you say, Obama. Let America know all about it and I hope they were listening. Because, I figure most are pretty sick of “keynote speakers” at Democratic Party Conventions telling about how they came from dirt poor, and only here in America, the opportunity, and, oh, we are rounding up Arab-American families and we are a fascist state. Thanks, Obama. The Democrats were excited on the floor. I expect they would be. But your stupid speech was the same old, and the same old, and the same old, and it’s getting real old, and insulting.

Hey! Here comes Ron Reagan! What a loyal son.

A few of you may be surprised, he asks?

Not me. I’m not.

My God, this convention is horrible. And so boring. Let’s have a science lecture.

Those cells, with your DNA.

Hey. Another thing. Another thing. They can replicate.

Hey. How’dya like to have a chevy in your DNA?

Hey. We can run the Department of Motor Vehicles. And we can run your DNA. Just watch us.

We are the Democratic Party. Just give us the power. And watch.

It is a hallmark – of human intelligence. They are not human beans. Only us. We are human beans. Lets make lab with ‘em. Let’s make the super folk. Science. Government. Das Folk. And, the thing about the Democratic Party, is, anyone can be a doctor. No one’s opportunity will be denied. Give a scalpel to the village idiot, and why not, we are better than that, and we will prevail in the name of the Democratic Party.

Gosh. I’m inspired.

You know, I don’t think the Democrats are going to get that big of a bounce we were all told they are going to get. We are told they will get a 15 point bounce.

I guess, if nobody watches it.

Here she comes. And she speaks five languages!

NO BLOOD FOR KETCHUP!

Like my wife said, she looks like a drug addict.

My name is . . . Tuh REYZA Heinz Kerry.

She has something to say. Well, say it.

She would like to speak to you from the heart. In another language.

And she did exactly that.

What a disaster for the Democrats.

She knows how to understand disease. He dad did. And, that’s what happens in dictatorships. This is her speech. How interesting.

Let’s have a history class on South Africa. Thank you Teresa.

I guess, what you are saying is, now, with Bush, we are like the White Government in South Africa.

Hmmm . ... One day soon, WOMEN, who have all earned their rights to opinions . . . and be called smart just like men. Because, like Teresa says, that isn’t the case now. Not in America. Not under George Bush. Women are cooks. Not billionaires.

Bounce?

Bounce?

Let’s watch.

Yippee Ti Yi Yo, get along little dogies
It’s your misfortune and none of my own
Yippee Ti Yi Yo get along little dogies
For you know that Wyoming will soon be your home.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: dncconvention; kerry; teresaisstrange
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1 posted on 07/27/2004 7:47:45 PM PDT by Brian_Baldwin
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To: Brian_Baldwin

It's pretty damn boring, isn't it?


2 posted on 07/27/2004 7:49:49 PM PDT by Brilliant
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To: Brian_Baldwin

Teresa Heinz is an incredibly booooring public speaker. No wonder the networks never switched over.


3 posted on 07/27/2004 7:49:55 PM PDT by Lunatic Fringe (John F-ing Kerry??? NO... F-ING... WAY!!!)
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To: Lunatic Fringe

She is as borinbg and as awful as her very French husband.


4 posted on 07/27/2004 7:52:01 PM PDT by pgkdan
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To: Brian_Baldwin
God save us from this kind of First Lady!

She sucks major way. Commie red kerrytchup costume, looks like she is on something, paaathetic!!!

5 posted on 07/27/2004 7:52:04 PM PDT by Leo Carpathian (Vote the RATS out!!!)
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To: Lunatic Fringe

Listening to Teresa Heinz Kerry is like listening to fingernails scratching on a chawkboard. My college statistics class was more exciting than this garbage.


6 posted on 07/27/2004 7:52:38 PM PDT by Nascardude
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To: Brian_Baldwin

Good news: sKerry will reverse global warmint.


7 posted on 07/27/2004 7:54:24 PM PDT by Leo Carpathian (Vote the RATS out!!!)
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To: Brian_Baldwin

A nice parting gift/consolation prize

8 posted on 07/27/2004 7:54:41 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all)
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To: Brian_Baldwin
Wow. Teresa Heinz Kerry may actually doing worse than Bill Clinton in 1988. I hope they let her speak. A lot. She's awful.
9 posted on 07/27/2004 7:55:40 PM PDT by Question_Assumptions
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To: Brian_Baldwin

She is putting herself into a sleep, watch her flip soon!


10 posted on 07/27/2004 7:55:55 PM PDT by Leo Carpathian (Vote the RATS out!!!)
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To: Brilliant

Thank God Leona Helmsley finished talking


11 posted on 07/27/2004 7:57:51 PM PDT by Nov3
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To: Brian_Baldwin

Brian,
You've been reading from the telepromptor again, haven't ou ;'}


12 posted on 07/27/2004 8:00:17 PM PDT by rockrr ("If this were a perfect world, Democrats would just be a bad memory - like Typhoid")
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To: Brian_Baldwin

Scarborough and fineman are both calling it right, she wont play in Peoria.


13 posted on 07/27/2004 8:00:20 PM PDT by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos)
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To: pgkdan

It was rambling, syrupy and BORING. Tightly controled, no emotion.


14 posted on 07/27/2004 8:01:08 PM PDT by GailA ( hanoi john, I'm for the death penalty for terrorist, before I impose a moratorium on it.)
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To: Brian_Baldwin

Atleast the song at the end was appropriate "You know you make me wanna shout."


She did make me wanna shout. I wanted to shout "GET OFF THE STAGE!"


15 posted on 07/27/2004 8:01:08 PM PDT by Nascardude
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To: Brian_Baldwin

ROFLOL! Thanks for that all-encompassing rundown of the Whiners "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To" Convention. I can't stomach to watch it for myself. Life's too short to waste on that drivel. So again, thanks for summarizing the...uh..."high" points for those of us who are boycotting the nonsensical parade of fools.


16 posted on 07/27/2004 8:01:09 PM PDT by shezza
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To: Nascardude

17 posted on 07/27/2004 8:01:20 PM PDT by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos)
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To: Nascardude
I just sat through that entire somnambulist's exercise. What the h*ll, exactly, did that windbag, Tuhrayza, just say
18 posted on 07/27/2004 8:01:25 PM PDT by NCPAC ("Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican." - Ronald Reagan)
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To: Brian_Baldwin
That is the best summary of the convention I have read yet!
19 posted on 07/27/2004 8:03:55 PM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: Brian_Baldwin
I refuse to watch a single second of the Communist Festival Democrat National Comintern Convention. The only place I'll get my info about it is from FR. My TV has been either on baseball or The Weather Channel since the weekend.

In any case, the convention sounds awful. I can't exactly see Lurch giving a rip-roaring speech on Thursday night, either. (And even if he tries to give a rip-roaring speech, he'll look like a blithering idiot and a dork)

20 posted on 07/27/2004 8:04:37 PM PDT by GiveEmDubya (John²: Two Hairdos. One Agenda. No Idea.)
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