* Welcome to the DNC 2004 Awards Show! * Freepers Choice Awards Galore

2 August 2004 | CounterCounterCulture

[CounterCounterCulture]

	Welcome to the DNC 2004 Awards Show!
"I'm opinionated and off my meds, so you can Shove it!"

Back by popular demand (OK, maybe I'm projecting), is the DNC 2004 Awards Show! You’ve watched the convention, now vote for your favorite moments. This is truly a Freepers Choice Award Show. 40 awards total to be doled out. Who annoyed you the most? Who wouldn’t leave the stage? What were the worst quotes? The most overused clichés? Who caused you to use the most barf bags? Well, sit right back and check out the nominees and relive the experience… *** 2000 Awards flashback ***

"These people are freakin nuts"

1. Biggest Mouth (Male) Bill Clinton Elijah Cummings Howard Dean Barney Frank James Hoffa Jesse Jackson Robert Kennedy Jr. Ted Kennedy Patrick Leahy John Lewis Terry McAuliffe Kweisi Mfume Michael Moore Carl Levine Charles Schumer Al Sharpton

2. Biggest Mouth (Female/Other) Barbara Boxer Hillary Clinton Rosa DeLauro Dianne Feinstein Janeane Garofalo Teresa Heinz Kerry Carolyn McCarthy Barbara Mikulski

3. Biggest racist Corinne Brown Robert Byrd Elijah Cummings Jesse Jackson Bill Lann Lee John Lewis Kweisi Mfume Al Sharpton Raul Yzaguirre (La Raza)

4. Best speech in a foreign language Ted Kennedy Teresa Heinz Kerry Jesse Jackson Corinne "Ebonics" Brown John Lewis

5. Biggest Wuss Ben Affleck Bono Steve Brozak Martin O'Malley Ron Reagan

6. Dumbest Chant Cae-sar Cha-vez Hope Is On The Way Keep Hope Alive Let It Begin HERE (Edward Markey) Peace Now

7. Dumbest Signs We Love Teresa! The Real Deal Hope Is On The Way Give Bush A Pink Slip A Stronger America We Can Do It (with Nancy Pelosi's face over Rosie the Riveter's) Florida - We Shall Overcome Pro Kerry - Pro Edwards - Pro Choice Red blank sign b/s blue blank sign (Texas delegates wanting to turn it from a red state to a blue state

8. Most tired cliché (classic) A woman's place is in the House Affordable health care Diversity/diverse Health care is a right Inclusive/inclusion Keep hope alive Tax breaks for the wealthy Patients bill of rights Right to "choose" Working class Working families

9. Most tired cliché (2004) count every vote outsourcing unilateral weapons of mass destruction

10. Most overused/misused word Child/children Choice Families Values

11. Biggest Barf Bag Moment Bill Clinton's entire speech John Kerry's entire speech John Kerry rescues his daughter's hamster Terry McAuliffe trying to introduce Bill Richardson en español Planned Parenthood and NARAL representatives Stem cell b.s. "Stolen election" b.s.

12. Ugly on Ugly (Male) Bill Clinton Dick Gephardt Ted Kennedy Patrick Leahy Michael Moore John Sweeney

13. Ugly on Ugly (Female/Other) Roberta Achtenberg Hillary Clinton Rosa DeLauro Shirley Franklin (Atlanta Mayor) Alice Germond (DNC Secretary) Teresa Heinz Kerry Patty Judge (Iowa Sec of Agriculture) Mary (of Peter, Paul & Mary) Carolyn McCarthy Barbara Mikulski Janet Napolitano Lottie Shackelford Ellen Tauscher

14. Entrance/exit music Madeleine Albright: Got To Be Real (house band version) Jimmy Carter: Georgia On My Mind (house band version) Bill Clinton: Don't Stop (Fleetwood Mac) Hillary Rodham Clinton: New York State of Mind (house band version) Tom Daschle: Mr. Big Stuff (house band version) Howard Dean: We Are Family (Sister Sledge) [exit music] Cate Edwards: Let's Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas) Elizabeth Edwards: She's Not Just a Pretty Face (Shania Twain) John Edwards (and others): Higher & Higher (house band version) John Edwards: Sir Duke (Stevie Wonder) [exit music] Al Gore: Tennessee Waltz (house band version) Teresa Heinz Kerry: Simply The Best (Tina Turner) Teresa Heinz Kerry: Shout (house band version) [exit music] Ted Kennedy: Clocks (Coldplay) Dennis Kucinich: Power To The People Ed Rendell: Mr. Big Stuff (house band version) various: Wipe Out (house band version)

15. Biggest Butchering of the National Anthem Robyn Chavez (Miss Teen New Mexico) [Day 1 early] BeBe Winans [Day 1 primetime] Michael Enis & Alicia Chiles (in traditional Tohono O'odham language) [Day 2 primetime] Brian McKnight [Day 3 primetime]

16 Biggest Exploitation 9/11 firefighters Ron Regan using embryonic stem cell research on the memory of President Reagan Vietnam vets

17. Boooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiing! dead air Roll call of the states Teresa Heinz Kerry's sloooooooow speech John Kerry's speech

18. Shut Up And Get Off The Stage Already Bill Clinton Elijah Cummings Teresa Heinz Kerry John Kerry Jesse Jackson Kweisi Mfume Al Sharpton

19. Worst Kennedy Lt. Col. Claudia Kennedy Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Teddy Kennedy

20. The “I didn’t know he/she was still alive” Abe Vigoda Award Peter, Paul &/or Mary Goerge McGovern

21. Kneepad Liberal (in Media) Didn't watch much of anything beyond C-SPAN, so you fill in the blanks here

22. Biggest Lie There isn't enough bandwidth for this category. Sorry.

23. Kneepad Liberal Network ABC CBS CNN MSNBC NBC PBS Air America NPR

24. Kneepad Liberal (in show business) Ben Affleck Glenn Close Janeane Garofalo Michael Moore Rob Reiner

25. Biggest Targets Big business Big Oil Bush Cheney Embryos Enron Halliburton The wealthy

26. Hutzpah Award Honoring firefighters Honoring Vietnam vets All the liars and racists falsely accusing the Republicans of the same Complaining about us wearing religion on our sleeve while frequently praising God in most speeches

27. Surprise of the convention John Kerry served in Vietnam. Didja know that? John Kerry rescued and gave CPR/mouth-to-mouth on his girl's pet hamster.

28. John Kerry quote of the convention

• "I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty!"
• "Now, I'm not one to read into things, but guess which wing of the hospital the maternity ward was in? I'm not kidding. I was born in the West Wing!"
• "And we will end the backdoor draft of National Guard and reservists.''
  
• "America can do better. And help is on the way."
• "What does it mean when 25% of our children in Harlem have asthma because of (h)air pollution?"
• "I want to address these next words directly to President George W. Bush: In the weeks ahead, let's be optimists, not just opponents. Let's build unity in the American family, not angry division. Let's honor this nation's diversity; let's respect one another; and let's never misuse for political purposes the most precious document in American history, the Constitution of the United States."

29. Al "Tawana Brawley" Sharpton quote of the convention

• "We didn't get the mule. So we decided we'd ride this donkey as far as it would take us."
• "It is frightening to think that the gains of civil and women rights and those movements in the last century could be reversed if this administration is in the White House in these next four years."
• "I suggest to you tonight that if George Bush had selected the court in '54, Clarence Thomas would have never got to law school."
• "The promise of America guarantees health care for all of its citizens and doesn't force seniors to travel to Canada to buy prescription drugs they can't afford here at home."
• "No one gave them an English test before they sent them to Iraq to fight for America."
• "We got the Civil Rights Act under a Democrat. We got the Voting Rights Act under a Democrat."
• "Mr. President, read my lips: Our vote is not for sale."

30. Jesse Hi-Jackson quote of the convention

• "In the darkness of 2000, the winners lost and the losers won. Jewish voters in West Palm Beach, immigrants stopped at the polls, a million black votes cast but not counted. This must never, ever happen again."
• "They ignored the genocide in the Sudan, and induced coup in Haiti."
• "The president speaks of leaving no child behind, but leaves 2 million children behind to protect the tax cuts for the top one percent."
• "Every child, red, yellow, brown, black and white, deserves a constitutional right to an equal, high-quality public education."
• "In the dark, a president chooses tax cuts for millionaires, but job cuts for steelworkers, firefighters and police. The president talks of homeland security, but wants to let AK-47s and Uzis back on the street."
• "But a new day is dawning, a new America is turning pain to power because beyond the extreme right wing is a beautiful rainbow of all of God's children. Out of the darkness of the bushes, we see the soaring of an authentic American eagle on the horizon."
• "But John Edwards understands using wallpaper for a windbreaker, not for decoration. He understands peanut-butter sandwiches and Kool-Aid. He understands grits and gravy. He understands the (unintelligible). He understands you and me."
• "Keep hope alive. Keep hope alive. Keep hope alive."

31. Clinton quote of the convention

• Bill Clinton: "Republicans believe in an America run by the right people, their people, in a world in which we act unilaterally when we can, and cooperate when we have to. They think the role of government is to concentrate wealth and power in the hands of those who embrace their political, economic, and social views, leaving ordinary citizens to fend for themselves on matters like health care and retirement security. Since most Americans are not that far to the right, they have to portray us Democrats as unacceptable, lacking in strength and values. In other words, they need a divided America. "
• Bill Clinton: " When I was in office, the Republicans were pretty mean to me. When I left and made money, I became part of the most important group in the world to them. At first I thought I should send them a thank you note—until I realized they were sending you the bill."
• Bill Clinton: "If you think it’s good policy to pay for my tax cut with the Social Security checks of working men and women, and borrowed money from China, vote for them. If not, John Kerry’s your man."
• Bill Clinton: "…John Kerry said, 'send me.'"
• Hillary Rodham Clinton: "I know a thing or two about health care."
• Hillary Rodham Clinton: "He (Bill Clinton) still spends his days working to empower the powerless, promote racial, religious, and ethnic reconciliation, inspire young people to citizen service, and bring life saving medicines to people living with HIV/AIDS around the world."

32. PeanutHead Carter quote of the convention

• "My name is Jimmy Carter, and I’m not running for president"
• "…we need new leaders in Washington whose policies are shaped by working American families instead of the super-rich and their armies of lobbyists."
• "Let us not forget that the Soviets lost the Cold War because the American people combined the exercise of power with adherence to basic principles, based on sustained bipartisan support."
• "The achievements of Camp David a quarter century ago and the more recent progress made by President Bill Clinton are now in peril."
• "You can’t be a war president one day and claim to be a peace president the next, depending on the latest political polls."

33. Algore quote of the convention

• "I didn't come here tonight to talk about the past. After all, I don't want you to think I lie awake at night counting and recounting sheep."
• "America is a land of opportunity, where every little boy and girl has a chance to grow up and win the popular vote."
• "I know about the bad economy. I was the first one laid off."
• "…exposing the threat of ecoterro----uh … narcoterrorism and tracing the sources of terrorist financing."

34. Other quotes of the convention (female)

• Madeleine Albright: "…Our nominee has never ducked from a fight or gone missing in battle or left a buddy behind."
• Tammy Baldwin: "But in order to satisfy the far-right wing of his party, our current president is holding these stem cells - and all that they promise hostage."
• Rosa DeLauro: "Why was our country pursuing a foreign policy that leaves America isolated and less safe?"
• Elizabeth Edwards: "You know, I married the smartest, toughest, sweetest man I know. And in two days, we will celebrate 27 years of marriage... the way we always do. We'll do it the way we always do at Wendy's."
• Teresa Heinz Kerry: "Shove it!" *
  
• Nancy Pelosi: "Democrats do not exploit fear to divide and distract the nation."
• Stephanie Tubbs-Jones: "We are tired of seeing our hard-earned tax dollars go to haves and have-mores, while the must-haves, could-haves, should-haves, maybes and have-nots have not at all."
• Ilana Wexler: "when our vice president had a disagreement with a democratic senator, he used a really bad word…If I said that word, I would be put in a time out. I think he should be put in a time out."

  * technically the night before the convention, but hey, she can shove it :-)

35. Other quotes of the convention (male)

• Some black preacherman: "I want to get that cowboy out of the White House"
• John Edwards: "It doesn't have to be that way." (ad nauseum)
• John Edwards: "Not in our America."
• Barney Frank: "We who are gay lesbian bisexual trangendered, we do have an agenda…"
• Dick Gephardt: "At a time of global terror, John Kerry will take on the terrorists where they live, before they can threaten us where we live."
• Bob Graham: "Osama bin forgotten"
• Ted Kennedy: "Sub-sbub-suburb"
• Ted Kennedy: "Today, we say the only thing we have to fear is four more years of George Bush."
• Dennis Kucinich: " I was mayor of Cleveland and I could tell you that I've seen weapons of mass destruction in our cities. Poverty is a weapon of mass destruction. Joblessness is a weapon of mass destruction, homelessness, a weapon of mass destruction. Racism, a weapon of mass destruction, fear, a weapon of mass destruction. We must disarm these weapons."
• Joe Lieberman: "That was a heck of a campaign in 2000, wasn't it? And when it was all over. Al and I won, didn't we?"
• Kweisi Mfume: "…and union bashing deplete(s) us as a nation…"
• Michael Moore: "The right wing is not where America is at…Most Americans, in their heart, are liberal and progressive. It's just a small minority of people who hate. They hate. They exist in the politics of hate…They're not patriots…They're hate-triots, and they believe in the politics of hate-triotism. Hate-triotism is where they stand, and patriotism is where real Americans stand."
• Michael Moore: "I mean, they are up at six in the morning trying to figure out which minority group they're going to screw today…The hate, they eat for breakfast. They are going to fight and they are going to smear, and they are going to lie, and they are going to hate."
• Ron Reagan: "Let me assure you, I am not here to make a political speech and the topic at hand should not — must not — have anything to do with partisanship."
• Ron Reagan: "Maybe this is a good time to go for a tall cold one. Well, wait a minute, wait a minute."
• Mark Warner: "Virginia has been wandering in the Republican desert for 40 years."

36. Most unabashed display of egomania Clinton's speech Kerry's "heroics" in Vietnam and back home Ron Reagan in the spotlight

37. Biggest Applause Line Every time Bush was bashed Paul Wellstone in memorial John Kerry enters for his acceptance speech Bill Clinton enters for his speech Hillary Clinton enters for her speech Al Sharpton didn't get his 40 acres and a mule, be he gonna ride that donkey

38. Most truthful moment Brit Hume on Teresa Heinz Kerry's speech: The was a most unusual speech Shep Smith sticking his finger down his throat Chris Wallace on Teresa Heinz Kerry: Don't cry for me Argentina Al Gore starts to say "ecoterrorism" instead of "narcoterrorism" Democrats leaving the American flags on the convention floor when they were finished with them Red (-clad) Chinese perform

39. What was missing most from this convention? Cohesive themes from speaker to speaker Good house band Good speakers Gravitas Integrity Intelligence Lyndon LaRouche (again) Moderates The truth

Feel free to add any write-in votes

[hispanarepublicana]

Best Tattoos!

[Choose Ye This Day]

"4. Best speech in a foreign langage: teRAHza Heinz Kerry- I still have no idea WHAT language she was speaking."

I understood her fine when she was speaking Spanish, Portuguese and even French. The other 99.9% of her "speech" was unintelligible. Someone said she was speaking English, but that can't be true. Ms. Heinz, I know English. I speak English. Ms. Heinz, that ain't English!

[Choose Ye This Day]

Best tattoos on spindly girlie-man arms.

[CounterCounterCulture]

I get the feeling you don't like teRAHza Heinz Kerry :-)

[CounterCounterCulture]

Sorry, I’m so stupid, but how, oh how do I vote?

No, no, you're not stupid. It's very low tech. You can just copy n paste your answers and it's up to me to tally the results. :-)

[Petronski]

I have never seen so many
sharks in these waters.

[vikingchick]

My memories of the Convulsion boil down to 2 things: Licorice the Hamster's moment in the sun; and Teresa saying she was a strong, outspoken woman.

No Teresa, you're a billionaire, and you are surrounded by yes men and women. Nobody, but nobody in your personal circle will ever tell you to shut up, or even disagree with you because you've got all the money.

You are a female Michael Jackson without the criminal accusations.

Only the Freepers will tell you the truth.

[cupcakes]

1. mouth male-Teddy Kennedy
2. mouth female-Jeaneane Garafalo
3. biggest racist-Corinne Brown
4. Best speech in a foreign language-Corinne "ebonics" Brown
5. Biggest Wuss-Ben Aaaa-flack
6. Dumbest Chant-Keep hope alive(because it is so ridiculous to hear from a dim)
7. Dumbest sign--Texas one(dream on)
8. Most tired cliché (classic)-working families(healthcare is a right is a close second)
9. Most tired cliché (2004)-weapons of mass destruction
10. Most overused/misused word-values(again laughable coming from that side of the aisle)
11. Biggest Barf Bag Moment-Naral reps
12. Ugly on Ugly (Male)-tough one, but Michael Moore would have to be the worst
13. Ugly on Ugly (Female/Other)-Napolitano
14. Entrance/exit music- Madeleine Albright: Got To Be Real(give me a break!)
15. Biggest Butchering of the National Anthem--agree with the other person--they don't know what it means, therefore any rendition by a dem is butchering
16. Biggest Exploitation-Ron Reagan and stem cell research hands down!
17. Boooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiing!--Tey-ray-za's speech
18. Shut Up And Get Off The Stage Already-Again Miz Heinz Kerry
19. Worst Kennedy--Teddy will always win this while still alive
20. he “I didn’t know he/she was still alive” Abe Vigoda Award-McGovern
21. Kneepad Liberal (in Media)-Jennings
22. Biggest Lie--Kerry's entire speech
23. Kneepad Liberal NetworkNPR
24. Kneepad Liberal (in show business)-Afflack--his fawning over the Kerry sisters was pathetic
25. Biggest Targets-the wealthy--pretty funny since this from THE WEALTHY themselves--pack of lying wolves
26. Hutzpah Award- o omplaining about us wearing religion on our sleeve while frequently praising God in most speeches

27. Surprise of the convention-Kerry and the hamster(what a disgusting surprise to boot)
28. John Kerry quote of the convention-# "What does it mean when 25% of our children in Harlem have asthma because of (h)air pollution?"(hubby and I both said what the hell does that have to do with the price of tea in China? I guess it means he cares about blacks doncha know)
29.Al "Tawana Brawley" Sharpton quote of the convention
No one gave them an English test before they sent them to Iraq to fight for America.(LMAO--this guy can't be for real and actually be given an audience in a national convention? 30. Jesse Hi-Jackson quote of the convention-They ignored the genocide in the Sudan, and induced coup in Haiti."(Yeah, and Jesse has been a real mouthpiece concerned with the black Sudeanese Christians being murdered in the millions)
31. Clinton quote of the convention-Republicans believe in an America run by the right people, their people, in a world in which we act unilaterally when we can, and cooperate when we have to... yeah and none of the other quotes at this convention indicated that democrats believe in an America run by the "right people" their people--puhleeze!
32. PeanutHead Carter quote of the convention- o You can’t be a war president one day and claim to be a peace president the next, depending on the latest political polls."
(umm, Jimmy, we aren't asking for your opinion about Bill Clinton)
33. Algore quote of the convention-# "I know about the bad economy. I was the first one laid off."--no, you were fired!
34. Other quotes of the convention (female)-# Nancy Pelosi: "Democrats do not exploit fear to divide and distract the nation."
35. Other quotes of the convention (male)-# Michael Moore: "I mean, they are up at six in the morning trying to figure out which minority group they're going to screw today…The hate, they eat for breakfast. They are going to fight and they are going to smear, and they are going to lie, and they are going to hate."(This guy has to be a parody of a hypocrite, he just can't be real--btw, both quotes could have applied)
36. Most unabashed display of egomania-Ron Reagan
37. Biggest Applause Line-Bush bashing
38. Most truthful moment-Flags on the floor of the dem convetion
39. What was missing most from this convention?-the truth

[Tamzee]

Great idea and I love your categories :-)

1. Moore
2. Heinz-Kerry
3. Sharpton
4. Kennedy
5. Reagan
6. Peace Now
7. Florida - We Shall Overcome
8. Tax breaks for the wealthy
9. count every vote
10. Values
11. stolen election b.s.
12. Moore
13. Clinton
14. Simply the Best
15. abstain... didn't see any of the versions
16. Vietnam Vets
17. Heinz Kerry's speech
18. Sharpton
19. Teddy Kennedy
20. McGovern
21. Too many kneepads to choose
22. you're right, not enough bandwidth
23. CBS
24. Garofalo
25. Bush
26. Liars projecting and calling the right liars
27. surprise - Resusci-Hamster
28. "Let's build unity in the American family, not angry division."
29. "We got the Civil Rights Act under a Democrat."
30. "a million black votes cast but not counted"
31. "…John Kerry said, 'send me.'"
32. "the Soviets lost the Cold War... based on sustained bipartisan support."
33. "…exposing the threat of ecoterro----uh … narcoterrorism"
34. Teresa Heinz Kerry: "Shove it!"
35. Ted Kennedy: "Sub-sbub-suburb"
36. Kerry's "heroics" in Vietnam
37. Bush bash applause
38. Chris Wallace on Teresa Heinz Kerry: Don't cry for me Argentina
39. The truth

Bonus - most memorable moment Oompa-Kerry-Loompa Dukakis pic

[Brytani]

1. Bull Clintoon
2. Teresa Heinz Kerry
3. Al Sharpton
4. Teresa Heinz kerry
5. Ron Reagan
6. Hope is on the way
7. The real deal
8. Tax breaks for the wealthy
9. count every vote
10. Choice
11. Bill Clinton's entire speech (can we add all of the above???)
12. Michael Moore
13. Barbara Mikulski
14. We are family
15. BeBe Winans
16. 9-11
17. John Kerry's speech
18. Teresa Kerry
19. Teddy Kennedy (not that is a good Kennedy)
20. George McGovern
21. Chrissy Matthews PMSNBC
22. The entire convention!!!
23. Air America (please please can I pick all of the above?)
24. Michael Moore
25. Bush
26. Honoring Vietnam Vets
27. Kerry boy served in Vietnam
28. "I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty"
29. Mr. President our vote is not for sale blah blah blah blah
30. In the darkness blah blah
31. Republicans believe.....
32. The achievements of Camp David
33. I didn't come here tonight to talk about the past
34. Shove It!
35. Michael Moore waking up at 6am to screw minorities
36. Kerry in Vietnam again
37. Billyboy Clintoon enters for his crap I mean speech
38. Democrats leaving the American flags on the floor
39. The Truth

[Mudboy Slim]

"TWO forked tongues entwine."

Ewwww...yuck!!

MUD