Vanity I am confused Please Help !

21 posted on 08/14/2004 6:13:39 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

22 posted on 08/14/2004 6:14:34 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

You hit the NAIL.

It's only good if a Democrat/Liberal/Leftist's/Communist does/says it.

23 posted on 08/14/2004 6:16:25 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

And a wonderful addition it is.

24 posted on 08/14/2004 6:16:28 PM PDT by watchin (Democratic Party - the political wing of the IRS)

To: Not a 60s Hippy

Hope the RNC are lurking!

25 posted on 08/14/2004 6:17:36 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

To: crusty codger

Maybe you'll get it figured out like this person did on the help line at Work Perfect....

This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former Word perfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

".......Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing suff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

26 posted on 08/14/2004 6:17:37 PM PDT by deport (Please Flush the Johns......)

To: crusty codger

With all due respect I would add only two items:

Clinton arms Islamist Terrorists in Kosovo so they can MURDER Christians - Good.
Bush KILLS Islamist Terrorists who want to MURDER all of us - Bad.
Clinton orders carpet bombing from 30,000 feet with 'dumb bombs', killing thousands of innocent civilians who mean us no harm - Good.
Bush orders precision bombing with smart bombs against our enemy which kills very few civilians - Bad.

27 posted on 08/14/2004 6:18:41 PM PDT by Condor51 (May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't. -- Gen G. Patton Jr)

To: crusty codger

Questioning Bush's service record, calling him a deserter and AWOL - good.
Questioning Kerry's service record (Nixon didn't send him to Cambodia) - bad.

28 posted on 08/14/2004 6:22:41 PM PDT by watchin (Democratic Party - the political wing of the IRS)

To: crusty codger

Excellent summary, Mr. codger.

29 posted on 08/14/2004 6:22:43 PM PDT by Madame Dufarge

1. Clinton pardons terrorists so his wife can get elected to US Senate....good

2. Bush sends troops to kill terrorists that murdered 3,000 Americans and liberate 25,000,000 people....Bad

30 posted on 08/14/2004 6:24:39 PM PDT by stockpirate (Kerry and The Taxocrates must be defeated! "Kerry wasn't in Cambodia before he was in Cambodia.")

This person should get the "I am tired and will not take anymore of these moron's" Medal

LOL

31 posted on 08/14/2004 6:24:50 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

and lies about Bush in "documentary" - good

excellent point...and I would further add:
fat movie maker libelous hit film IS to documentary..
AS..
cow $h*t IS to perfume.

32 posted on 08/14/2004 6:25:35 PM PDT by evad (You cannot start with a false premise and arrive at a valid conclusion)

The truth you will never hear from the leftist media!

33 posted on 08/14/2004 6:26:21 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

34 posted on 08/14/2004 6:27:01 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

LOL. I think you've confusing the person recalling the quotes, with the person who made the initial statements.

Oh sorry! Probably because I've just finished reading the 9th version of the Christmas in Cambodia story. I'm lucky I know my own name right now. ;o)

35 posted on 08/14/2004 6:27:11 PM PDT by tsmith130 (Making one's enemies suffer is currently an under-valued activity.)

36 posted on 08/14/2004 6:28:30 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

To: crusty codger

Geez...I got that in an email from a buddy in Evansville Indiana three weeks ago. Did you write that one? I'm impressed...

37 posted on 08/14/2004 6:32:13 PM PDT by Pharmboy (History's greatest agent for freedom: The US Armed Forces)

Or even having to spell capitol.

aaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee. . .

Incoming!

38 posted on 08/14/2004 6:32:16 PM PDT by MARTIAL MONK

To: MARTIAL MONK

39 posted on 08/14/2004 6:34:32 PM PDT by squarebarb

It was seared into my memory that night 12/24/68. Here I was being fired on by South-Vietnamese celebrating Christmas.

No wait it was sometime in January and it was real fire from the NVA.

What a piece of Sh*t!

40 posted on 08/14/2004 6:35:01 PM PDT by crusty codger (I am a Republican goon and proud of it !)

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