Posted on 09/07/2004 7:03:00 AM PDT by SmithPatterson
My new single-question IQ test Mike S. Adams
Recently, a reader wrote to tell me that he had lost all faith in my intelligence because I made a derogatory remark about Charles Darwin in one of my recent editorials. The reader seemed to suggest that IQ could be measured with a single question. Apparently, his question was “do you believe in evolution?”
Of course, that is not a good question to use on a single-item IQ exam. Intelligent people know that, since it was created, evolution has evolved into two theories. Micro-evolution tries to use Darwinian principles to explain variations within species over time. Macro-evolution tries to use Darwinian principles to suggest that all species have evolved from primordial soup.
The latter theory is less than unproven. In fact, it isn’t even scientific. I believe that it is nothing more than the new religion of pseudo scientists who think that they are atheists. It is easy to fall prey to the mistaken belief that you are an atheist in the protected environment of academia. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Despite my disagreements with my reader/would-be IQ examiner, I do believe that he is on to something. Maybe we can measure IQ with a single question. You have to admit that the idea is appealing. If you get cornered at a cocktail party by someone who keeps making moderately stupid remarks, a single-question IQ test could be easily memorized and administered anywhere. And, of course, once a person has failed the exam, you can stop wasting your time in pointless conversation with someone you merely suspect to be stupid. Now, you’ll know for sure.
So I decided this morning that I was going to develop my own single-item IQ exam. But, after only a few minutes, I started having trouble deciding which question to use on my exam. There are so many good candidates for inclusion. For example:
1. Do you think that O.J. Simpson’s was framed?
2. Do you think that professional wrestling is real?
3. Do you think that the first moon landing was fake?
4. Do you think that Osama bin Laden wants George W. Bush to be re-elected because he’s afraid of John Kerry?
5. Do you think that Al Gore invented the internet?
6. Would you let your pre-teenage boy spend the night with Michael Jackson?
7. Have you ever made a contribution to PETA?
8. Do you think that Richard Simmons is straight?
9. Do you think that women should adopt a special diet to avoid prostate cancer?
10. Have you ever made a contribution to Benny Hinn?
11. Do bisexuals have male and female sex organs?
12. Is “innuendo” an Italian term for suppository?
13. Are you more concerned about saving a convicted murderer than an unborn child?
14. Would you support an abortion of an unborn baby while protesting animal abortion?
15. Do you think that Bill Clinton uses Viagra?
16. Do you think that Chris Matthews has good communication skills and respects women?
17. Would you favor the execution of a convicted female killer while she was eight months pregnant?
18. Have you ever asked someone where the “any” key is located on your computer keyboard?
19. Have you ever nodded during a speech by Jesse Jackson?
20. If your roommate stole your bong would you call the police?
21. Have you ever told a waitress that your sushi was undercooked?
22. Do you think that masturbation should be taught in our public schools?
23. Do you think that Pee Wee Herman should be allowed to teach in our public schools?
24. Do you think that the words “b****” and “ho” should be used to avoid cultural bias in IQ testing?
25. Have you ever watched a beautiful sunset and thought “hmm, science has clearly established that we all evolved from primordial soup.”
Feel free to use any of these questions the next time you are confronted with a suspected idiot in a social situation. In fact, feel free to use them all. Just a single “yes” will tell you all you need to know. And, if you don’t like my opinion, just hit any key to escape this editorial. You know where the “any” key is, don’t you?
Mike Adams (www.DrAdams.org) enjoys hunting when he is not administering intelligence tests and making fun of liberals.
How about, "Do you believe Michael Moore?"
26. Do you think that a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy?
1. Do you believe that the world was created in 6 days approximately 15,000 years ago?
humor bump
I liked this one because of the setup:
9. Do you think that women should adopt a special diet to avoid prostate cancer?
Hoppy
er, 27.
28. Do you believe that the Red Sox and/or Chicago Cubs will win a World Series?
28a. Do you believe that non Red Sox and/or Cubs fans will ever tire of pointing out that it has been a long time for either team to win a world series?
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?
Think before you continue reading.
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first.
Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car
keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital and I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.
Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box"
However, the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner against the bus stop,
then drive off with the old friend for some beers.
I would give money to benny hinn. I think its funny at the end of his show when a bunch of women in thier underwear chase him around (I really like the wacky chase music). Though I thought he died awhile ago? Oh well, that was one good BBC show.
I could take you some places and show you sub-species right here in SE Tennessee...
With respect to the OJ question: It's not good, because he was framed, but he did do it. They fiddled with the evidence, but they didn't have to.
How about "are you only capable of remembering a single question for an IQ test?"
That was Benny Hill
29. Do you believe John Kerry would be a good Commander In Chief and President for this nation?
Do you think that developing a single-item IQ exam, and posting it world-wide is a completely vain and total waste of time?
That was my favorite, too!
No, of course not! Don't be stupid! It was 6000 years ago. ;-)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.