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Catholic Cardinal: "...John Kerry is a Saint!!"
e-mail | September 22, 2004 | JBrown

Posted on 09/22/2004 8:56:28 PM PDT by Jackson Brown

John Kerry was scheduled to appear at the Catholic National Cathedral outside Washington as part of his campaign.

Before the day Kerry was to show up, a top Kerry's staffer made a visit to the Cardinal and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's position on abortion and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $1,000,000 if during your sermon you'd say John Kerry is a saint."

The Cardinal thinks it over for a few moments and finally (painfully) says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

Kerry smugly shows up looking especially confident that day and, as the Mass progresses, the Cardinal begins his homily.

"John Kerry is petty, a self absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and the lowest kind of snake ever to be inflicted on the American people. He wrote a book and portrayed himself in the best light even though he was a traitor to his fellow vets and his country.

He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself several medals. He married for money and is using it to repeatedly lie in order to get elected.

He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known. But compared to Ted Kennedy, John Kerry is a saint."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: johnkerry; kerry

1 posted on 09/22/2004 8:56:29 PM PDT by Jackson Brown
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To: Jackson Brown

heh-heh-heh


2 posted on 09/22/2004 8:57:30 PM PDT by Palladin (Proud to be a FReeper!)
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To: Jackson Brown

BTTT


3 posted on 09/22/2004 8:58:59 PM PDT by spodefly (A bunny-slippered operative in the Vast Right-Wing Pajama Party.)
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To: Jackson Brown

Compared to Ted Kennedy, Larry Flynt is a saint.


4 posted on 09/22/2004 9:00:44 PM PDT by phoenix0468 (Light of the world, beacon of freedom. We shall shine on always.)
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To: Jackson Brown

Here's to Kerry and Ted car pooling together.


5 posted on 09/22/2004 9:01:09 PM PDT by Callahan
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To: Jackson Brown

actually Ted Kennedy didn't meet with the Communists during a time of a war, and Ted Kennedy didn't attend a meeting to assassinate US Senators... actually maybe Ted Would have been a better candidate? LOL


6 posted on 09/22/2004 9:01:15 PM PDT by FesterUSMC
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To: FesterUSMC

Well, Ted is drunk. What's Kerry's exscuse?


7 posted on 09/22/2004 9:03:34 PM PDT by Callahan
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To: Callahan
Well, Ted is drunk. What's Kerry's exscuse?

LOL!

8 posted on 09/22/2004 9:04:05 PM PDT by FesterUSMC
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To: zip

ping


9 posted on 09/22/2004 9:05:16 PM PDT by Mrs Zip
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To: FesterUSMC

Terry Kerry to Teddy:

"You, Sir! You are Drunk!"

Ted to Terry Kerry:

"And you, ma'am, are ugly!"
"Tomorrow I will be sober, but you, ma'am,
will still be ugly!"


10 posted on 09/22/2004 9:24:16 PM PDT by bitt ("I'm Mad as Zell, and I'm Not Going to Take It Anymore." (CongressmanBillybob))
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To: Callahan

"Well, Ted is drunk. What's Kerry's exscuse?"

That they are both fools.


11 posted on 09/22/2004 9:38:13 PM PDT by Sola Veritas (Trying to speak truth - not always with the best grammar or spelling)
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To: Jackson Brown

and if Kerry is a saint then I'd really examine what they are burning for incense at that church!!


12 posted on 09/22/2004 9:43:12 PM PDT by prophetic (Dems investigate for pre 9/11intel - but now we've LOTS of Intel and they claim politics)
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To: Jackson Brown

You had me there for awhile!


13 posted on 09/22/2004 9:43:44 PM PDT by Salvation (†With God all things are possible.†)
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To: Jackson Brown

Humor bump


14 posted on 10/23/2004 7:21:27 AM PDT by T Wayne (I've done more than my fair share of paving!!!)
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To: Jackson Brown
One kills his mistress and the other shoots a fleeing VC in the back. Difficult to tell which is worst.

5.56mm

15 posted on 10/23/2004 7:25:25 AM PDT by M Kehoe
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