Google on Global Test turned up this...(too funny)

Google ^ | Oct. 4 | anon

[KFAT]

This test is too funny for words.

[KFAT]

Must read on "global test" #1 hit on google

[RWR8189]

lol, that's great.

[Prime Choice]

BTTT!

[ChadGore]

Thanks for the post !

All Freepers really MUST take the entire test, but here is page one:

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Officially Authorized, Internationally Recognized Global Test

Welcome, World Leader. We understand that you'd like to undertake some type of foreign policy action. In the past, this would have involved a great deal of debate and diplomatic activity (not to mention bribery) in Paris, Brussels, and on the west bank of the East River. In the interest of streamlined world government, we've developed this simple test, which should take no more than a few minutes to fill out, to get you quickly on to your next foreign adventure, should it meet all reasonable criteria for peace and international justice.

The test may be taken as many times as desired, as long as the billion-dollar test fee is paid each time (proceeds are split evenly between the office of the UN Director General, and the French government, to compensate them for the trouble and expense of designing the test). You will be billed upon test completion. Payment may be made via cash (dollars, please, in unmarked bills), credit card, Paypal, or under-the-counter arms contracts.

If you'd like to continue with the test, please begin below by selecting the language in which you'd like to take it. English

French (The International Language of Diplomacy)

[pookie18]

Not sure if it's on purpose (probably), but the page 1 heading is "Untied" as opposed to "United" Nations...

[T Minus Four]

Oh, you're gonna love this!

[Caipirabob]

I scored a negative 4,400. I'd be a flop with the French but I could probably visit Texas without getting my head blown off.

[blues_guitarist]

Ha ha, funny.

[theophilusscribe]

Your starting score is 0

First of all, what is the objective of your desired act of imperialist aggression?

Unlawfully seize oil fields (0 points)

Install US puppet government (0 points)

Disarm megalomaniacal dictator with WMD (will need to submit authenticated proof--CIA or MI6 documents will not be acceptable) (100 points)

Encourage spread of democracy in region (-2000 points)

Put down violent rebellion in former colony (10000 points)

[theophilusscribe]

Will the people you'll be oppressing be of your own race, or another? (Note: Arab nations are exempt from this question--select fourth option)


Own race (100 points)

Other race (-300 points)

Palestinians (-500 points)

We are an Arab nation (300 bonus points)

[theophilusscribe]

Will you be putting together a coalition for this activity? If so, which nations will it include?

Nation/Value/
Coerced (Deduct 100 Points Each)
Bribed (Deduct 100 Points Each)

France
1000

Germany
300

Russia
400

Zimbabwe
200

China
200

United Kingdom
0

Australia
0

Poland
0

Italy
0

Spain
0

United States
-1000

[theophilusscribe]

How will post-war reconstruction be handled?

Sole-source contracts to American companies, particularly Halliburton. (-300 points)

Open bidding on contracts, with US-provided funding, all nations welcome to bid (200 points)

Guaranteed contracts to French, German and Russian companies, with adequate profit margins for generous kickbacks. (1000 points)

[theophilusscribe]

Do you have any national interest at stake in this matter?

Yes, this action is necessary in order to prevent a devastating attack on our nation. (0 points)

Yes, allowing the current situation to continue will result in great damage to the nation's and indeed the world's economy (-200 points)

No, there is no discernable benefit to our nation or its people by undertaking this activity (500 points)

[theophilusscribe]

Will the illegitimate and racist state of Israel benefit in any way from this action?

Yes (-300 points)

No (0 points)

Actually, will probably damage Israel (300 points)

The Zionist Entity will be destroyed, and the Zionists pushed into the sea (1000 points)

[theophilusscribe]

Which of the following treaties will you be willing to ratify, no questions asked, if allowed to undertake this adventure (note, ratification will be necessary before final approval)?


Kyoto (400 points)

International Criminal Court (600 points)

Reentering ABM Treaty (500 points)

All of the above (2000 points)

None of the above (-1000 points)

[theophilusscribe]

Do you speak...?


French (200 points)

Texican (-300 points)

[theophilusscribe]

Do you look...?

French (200 points)

like a monkey (-300 points)

[theophilusscribe]

Sorry

We're sorry, but your score of -6900 is not sufficiently high to justify your imperialistic foreign adventure. You will be billed for this test, and you may take it again, by pressing the "Repeat Test" button below.

If you choose not to repeat the test, you may report to UN headquarters and attempt the standard diplomatic approach. We apologize for the inconvenience, but with luck, you may get approval within a decade or so.


If you wish to provide feedback on this test, please leave comments here.