Posted on 10/14/2004 7:14:52 PM PDT by moonman
I AM JOHN KERRY (A position paper) His final position, at last!
I am John Kerry.
I was against the first Iraq war. I am against the second Iraq war, but I voted for it. Now I'm against it but I was for it. I support the UN. I'm against terrorism and against the Iraq war.But I voted for the Iraq war.So, I voted against the first war and supported the second war, wait..... I'm against gay marriage but for gay unions. I support gays but think the San Francisco mayor is wrong. I support gay marriages. No, wait, gay unions.
I'm Catholic. Wait, I'm Jewish. My dad was Jewish. But I was raised Catholic. What am I? I don't want to confuse people. I am for abortions, but wait, I'm Catholic, and Catholics are pro-life. But I might consider putting pro-life judges in office, but I'm not sure. I do know I voted for a pro-life judge, but I stated that it was a mistake.
I went to Vietnam. But I was against Vietnam. I testified against fellow US Troops in Vietnam, threw my medals away and led others to do the same. But I am a war hero. . . Against the war. I stated I threw my medals away then I threw my ribbons away. I then revealed that I threw my ribbons away but not my medals, then lately I stated that I threw someone else's medals away and never threw anything of mine away. I believe Ribbons and Medals! aren't the same thing. Medals come with ribbons, so now I believe that ribbons and medals are the same thing besides the fact that ribbons are cloth and medals are medal.
I wrote a book that pictured the US Flag upside-down on its cover. But now I fly and campaign in a plane with a large flag right-side up on it. But sometimes, we fly upside-down for fun.
Yasser Arafat is a hero and a statesman. The Israelis shouldn't kill Palestinian terrorists, but they should stop terrorism. Yasser Arafat is a terrorist supporter. I support Mideast peace.
I am for the common man, unlike Bush. I am against the rich. But my family is worth $300 million dollars has a jet and many SUV's. I am the common man.
I am against sending jobs overseas. My wife is a Heinz heir, which Heinz has most factories offshore. I am against rewarding companies for exporting jobs as long as it is not Heinz.
I own $1 million in Wal-Mart stock. I believe Wal-Mart is evil by driving small business owners out of town. I am a capitalist and I own part of Wal-Mart but I am a good guy for small corporate America.
I own SUV's when I talk to my followers in Detroit, Michigan, Teresa owns SUV's, I don't, when I talk to tree hugging followers. I have a campaign jet that gets 1/3 mpg, which is great fuel efficiency.
I am against making military service an issue in Presidential elections. I defended a draft dodger Clinton and stated that all serve in their own capacity whether they draft dodge or not. Did I mention, I served in Vietnam and am a hero? Are you questioning my patriotism? I served in Vietnam. My opponent didn't. I have three purple hearts! I am a hero. I am qualified to run this country since I served.
I am John Kerry and this is my position.
This is a gross distortion of John Kerry's ONE very clear position on everything.
"All that stuff you like, I'm for it, but George Bush doesn't want you to have it. All the stuff you don't like, I'm against and it's Bush's fault that you don't have it already."
Great one. Is this original? Short enough to become a great e-mail forward.
That one's even shorter.
Very funny guys:) LOL
That's why you know it's not genuine Kerry.
bttt
Bent from the waist, with the sturdy heel of George W. Bush's timber-clearing boot aiming a launching blow straight at that quivering, girly-man ass.
Make it so, Lord. Make it so.
I thought it was his throat.
Coincidence or cause?
Good point...but first ya gotta knock 'em down...and don't worry...he's not going to sully his GOOD boots.
I don't knowwhat all the discussion is about, it's very clear to me....he's French.
Kerry has more positions than the Kama Sutra..
And, in every one - America gets screwed.
Semper Fi
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