Posted on 10/15/2004 9:09:57 AM PDT by George Stupidnopolis
Thou shalt have no other Gods before me, unless of course the other God in question happens to be Teresa, who would smite me down and make me sleep on the couch till next August if she thought I for a second implied that her bank account was not the Supreme Diety
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images, unless your name is MoveOn.org, in which case you can go graven to your hearts content and malign the character of the infidel George W.
Do not take the liberals name in vain, particularly in the realm of suggesting that your God would ever think of lying, cheating, raising taxes, banning guns, poking fun at the lesbian daughter of Dick Cheney or touching John Edwards in an inappropriate manner.
Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy, unless you are planning to attend a fundraiser or going windsurfing
Honor thy mother and father, except during those times when it is appropriate to make up fictitious tales during a debate relating the false story of how thy mother’s dying words were “integrity, integrity, integrity.” That her true dying words were “don’t marry that witch,” is not of critical import.
Thou shalt not kill anyone but the unborn and conservatives
Thou shalt not commit adultery if there is chance thou will be caught. Should thou be caught with thine pants around thine ankles, as happened with the prophet William Jefferson, thou should seek forgiveness from the holy networks and ponder the meaning of ‘is.”
Thou shalt not steal unless it is in the form of taxes, which is perfectly fine as long as it keeps the unwashed masses dependent upon the almighty Democratic nanny state.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Avoid bearing false witness by marrying a surly heiress and living in gated estates that have no neighbors. It is well and good to bear false witness against thine political opponents, for most people will never seek the truth of thine words and Dan Rather sure as heck won't spill the beans..
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors income or thy wife’s Xanax (see Commandment One). Rather, thou should just appropriate all your neighbor’s property while babbling about how tax cuts benefit the richest one percent, even though they really don’t.
Funny post.
I love your screen name.
Thanks...though I forgot the Commandment about coveting thy neighbor's Botox and tan-in-a-can
LOL!
I notice that Kerry always says "I think that George Bush is a nice guy BUT..." so you should consider that in the 10 commandments.
But this was really good.
Sorry, I've a better Screen Name for you "George Stepalloverus" :)
I started calling him that in the Clinton saga years.
Testy Teresa Tirade: I Can't Believe I Came to America
It didn't take long for the rigors of the campaign trail to sour first lady-in-waiting Teresa Heinz, who fumed yesterday that she "can't believe" she moved to America and married an American politician.
"I can't believe my family left Africa and came to this country," Heinz Kerry complained to the New York Post's Cindy Adams. "I can't believe I ever even married an American." (emphasis added)
"A politician's wife has a hard life," she said. "To become more of a 'thing' and less of a person is terrible."
Teresa's tirade continued, "I can't believe I married a second politician." Then referring to her first husband, the late Sen. John Heinz, she blasted: "I can't believe I married the first politician. He wasn't one when we met."
"What people don't know is that I am basically shy. I never wanted to do this," Heinz Kerry complained.
"To become more of a 'thing' and less of a person is terrible."
better than becoming "Tootsie"
hahahahahahahahahahah
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