French Cheese Is Smelliest in British Researcher's Test

Associated Press ^ | 11-26-04 1444EST | Associated Press

[BenLurkin]

LONDON (AP) - A soft, pungent cheese from northern France has topped a British researcher's study of the world's whiffiest cheeses. Academics at Cranfield University north of London said Friday that Vieux Boulogne, a Normandy cheese made from cows' milk, was the smelliest of 15 cheeses tested. Two other Normandy cheeses, Pont l'Eveque and Camembert, came in second and third.

Scientists at the university used human sniffers and a computer-linked "electronic nose" to rank the cheeses by odorousness.

Stephen White, who led the research, said the smelliest cheeses were those whose rinds had been washed in brine, brandy or - as with Vieux Boulogne - beer.

"There was no obvious correlation between the age of the selected cheeses and smelliness, nor type of milk origin, although cows' milk cheeses did dominate the smell chart," White said.

Vieux Boulogne owes its distinctive orange color and pungent smell to the brushing of its rind with beer during the two months it spends aging in cellars around the town of Boulogne-sur-Mer in northern France.

The smelliest dairy products in the survey, commissioned by a group that promotes French cheese in Britain, came from France. Munster, a cow milk's cheese from the eastern regions of Alsace and Lorraine, was fourth, followed by Brie de Meaux and Roquefort.

Hard cheeses, such as Parmesan and English cheddar, were the least smelly of those tested.

[MisterRepublican]

What is it about the French and smelliness?

[EggsAckley]

Ah, a cheese thread. This oughta be fun!

I hate to admit it, but I could become addicted to Pont l'Eveque cheese if I let myself.

[Fatuncle]

Um ... contaminated by their politics?

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

The Cheese Shop by Monty Python

(a customer walks in the door)

Customer: Good Morning.

Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!

Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.

Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?

Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.

Owner: Peckish, sir?

Customer: Esuriant.

Owner: Eh?

Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike!

Owner: Ah, hungry!

Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

Owner: Come again?

Customer: I want to buy some cheese.

Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Owner: Sorry?

Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!

Owner: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.

Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.

Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

Owner: Sorry, sir.

Customer: Red Windsor?

Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

Customer: Ah. Stilton?

Owner: Sorry.

Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?

Owner: No.

Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.

Owner: No.

Customer: Lipta?

Owner: No.

Customer: Lancashire?

Owner: No.

Customer: White Stilton?

Owner: No.

Customer: Danish Brew?

Owner: No.

Customer: Double Goucester?

Owner: (pause) No.

Customer: Cheshire?

Owner: No.

Customer: Dorset Bluveny?

Owner: No.

Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?

Owner: No.

Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?

Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.

Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...

Customer: Oh, I like it runny.

Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)

Customer: What now?

Owner: The cat's eaten it.

Customer: (pause) Has he.

Owner: She, sir.

Customer: (pause) Gouda?

Owner: No.

Customer: Edam?

Owner: No.

Customer: Case Ness?

Owner: No.

Customer: Smoked Austrian?

Owner: No.

Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?

Owner: No, sir.

Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?

Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--

Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Owner: Fair enough.

Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

Owner: Yes?

Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.

Customer: (pause) Greek Feta?

Owner: Uh, not as such.

Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

Owner: No.

Customer: Parmesan,

Owner: No.

Customer: Mozarella,

Owner: No.

Customer: Paper Cramer,

Owner: No.

Customer: Danish Bimbo,

Owner: No.

Customer: Czech sheep's milk,

Owner: No.

Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Owner: Not *today*, sir, no.

Customer: (pause) Aah, how about Cheddar?

Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world!

Owner: Not 'round here, sir.

Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?

Owner: 'Illchester, sir.

Customer: IS it.

Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.

Customer: Is it.

Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir!

Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?

Owner: Right, sir.

Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.

Owner: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

Owner: Finest in the district!

Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir!

Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....

Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.

Customer: Would it be worth it?

Owner: Could be....

Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!

Owner: Told you sir....

Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

Owner: No.

Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:

Owner: Yessir?

Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.

Owner: Yes, sir.

Customer: Really?

(pause)

Owner: No. Not really, sir.

Customer: You haven't.

Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.

Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

Owner: Right-Oh, sir.

(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner)

Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.

[fso301]

The instruments go offscale when one of the researchers cuts the cheese.

[Oblongata]

I heard French people age chees by carrying lumps of fresh cheese around in their armpits until the aging process is complete (2 to 6 months). Any truth to this rumor? ;)

[EggsAckley]

LOL! Thanks for that. Haven't seen it for years.

[highpockets]

LOL. Where did you get the script?

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Where did you get the script?

I am, in these parts anyway, considered the World's fastest Googler.

Using the Google Bar in Firefox, I typed in 'Cheese shop skit'. The very first hit was a link to http://www.minderella.com/words/cheeseshop.htm

I click the link and hi-light what I want to copy and paste, right click on the hi-lighted text and select "View Selection Source" from the context menu. This opens a text window and shows me the selection with all HTML tags in place. I copy and paste this into FR and post.

Simple. Now. If you too would like to have "View Partial Source" to be a selection on your context menus, then do a Google search for 'webdevaccess' and you can find the small Microsoft executable that will add this to MSIE. If you have Firefox, I believe it is a small extension that adds the functionality.

[NormsRevenge]

In this photo released by Sopexa, on Friday Nov. 26, 2004 a piece of Vieux Boulogne cheese is seen Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2004. This soft, pungent cheese from northern France has topped a British researchers' study of the world's whiffiest cheeses. Academics at Cranfield University north of London said Friday that Vieux Boulogne, a Normandy cheese made from cows' milk, was the smelliest of 15 cheeses tested. (AP Photo/ Sopexa, Simon Smith)

[phxaz]

.

when aged 23-27 ('70s) just about every friday night in my boston basement apartment i would drink two bottles of wine, smoke lots of pot, and heat bagels in the oven which were smeared with Camembert or limburger cheese. this while i cleaned the heck out of my apartment listening to hank williams on my console stereo. i had very little money then but i would wonder what the Commodore J.P. Vanderfella types were up to that could be nearly as much fun.

.

[Xenalyte]

I have yet to meet the cheese I did not like. Oh, man, do I ever love cheese.

[phxaz]

.

that does look good!

.

[Paine in the Neck]

The French refer to a good stinky cheese as les pieds de Dieu - the feet of G*d.

[Xenalyte]

That is unbelievably cool. You rock! Thanks!

[kingattax]

can you Google for "Venezuelan Beaver Cheese" and let us know what you come up with please ?

[Cobra64]

There is a pre-packaging process. Each cheese roll is tightly held in a Frenchman's armpit for 3.5 minutes.

[MosesKnows]

French Cheese Is Smelliest in British Researcher's Test

The article states that only 15 cheeses were tested and therefore the smelliest cheese was not discovered. The reason that is worth noting would be obvious to anyone who has had the opportunity of coming within 10 feet, or the county line for some, of an opened container of limburger cheese

Limburger cheese LIHM-buhr-guhr

Undoubtedly the stinkiest of the strong-smelling cheeses, limburger has a rind that ranges in color from yellow to reddish-brown and a yellow, pasty interior. This strong, pungently flavored cheese is made from cow's milk and is soft-ripened for about 3 months. Though it originated in Belgium, most limburger comes from Germany. The imports continue to ripen during transit, however, and often arrive devastatingly odorous. Though it's definitely categorized among those foods that are an "acquired taste," limburger has legions of fans. It's best served with full-flavored food and drink such as onions, dark breads and dark beer.

In the United States, Limburger is only made in Wisconsin. It is often served on rye bread with onions.

[muir_redwoods]

Say anything you want about the French but they have figured out cheese-making. French cheese is the worst smelling wonderful food there is. There are lots of good and great cheeses in the world but the country with the most great ones is France. I can be convincesd that either Stilton or Parmesiano Reggiano is the absolute best cheese in the world but for sheer number of great cheeses, France wins.

Probably their only victory recently