Supporting our military

(This is a good friend of mine.) Pictures did not copy, unfortunately.

Brenda Drager of Pennside says she was moved to send packages to service personnel by the caring spirit she saw emerge after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attack.

By Bruce R. Posten Reading Eagle

The Christmas card, which says “Greetings from Pennsylvania,” has a green bow, a sprig of holly and a long message from Brenda Drager of Pennside that covers two of its four sides.

It's one of more than 100 personalized cards the 41-year-old Drager has sent to soldiers and sailors she has never seen or met.

The homemade greeting also includes five photographs that show herself and her husband, Bob, a computer programmer; her son, Matthew, 12, a sixth-grader; and her dog, Lance, a 4-year-old loyal and protective German shepherd.

The cards join scores of packages that fill her living room. She mails them to military personnel, filled with T-shirts and socks, treats and trinkets, and lotions and notions, all at her own expense.

They are the simple things from home that military personnel in Iraq or Afghanistan or almost anywhere else around the world seem to treasure like gold in their not so simple lives -- lives that, in seconds, can be altered or ended.

What she gets in return for her efforts is a wall in her kitchen filled with photographs and letters from military men and women who were touched by her wanting to reach out to them.

To her, it's a wall worth a mint.

Drager is not a military wife or mother. She has no one in her immediate family serving in the armed forces, although her father, Ronald Uczynski Sr., 72, a retired policeman, is an Army veteran.

In these polarized political days, she claims not to be particularly partisan, either.

Neither Republican elephants nor Democratic donkeys are her preferred mascots.

Stuffed teddy bears crowd her home -- scores of them -- cuddly, cute, warm and fuzzy. Children know they are a comfort in troubled times. And a comfort is what she aspires to be.

“After 9-11 (the World Trade Center tragedy in 2001) and seeing how people reached out to one another and later when our troops headed out to dutifully perform what they were asked to do, I felt so helpless and small,” she said. “It touched me that people had given and were giving so much. I just couldn't sit here anymore. I had to do something.”

Drager was motivated to do research on the Internet, and she found dozens of e-mail addresses and organizations looking for volunteers to write to servicemen, some with families and some without. In these days of fears about terrorism, the government is more concerned with channeling and regulating mail that will go to soldiers in war zones.

In effect, Drager took on the mission of being a “home connection” for military personnel overseas.

Naturally, she is not alone in her endeavors. There are many other giving souls.

What she most clearly represents, however, is how the power of others' sacrifices can affect some individuals -- individuals, at first glance, who may seem comfortably removed from feeling the need to make any altruistic offering.

“The more I read these letters and notes from Americans the more I am surprised these people are sacrificing so much for people they do not even know,” Drager said. “It still amazes me that people give so much of themselves for strangers. I wanted to do that, too.”

Drager used to work as a beautician and did clerical work at the courthouse before giving up employment to be a full-time wife and mother in the early 1990s.

For years, she has had to cope with chronic migraines - some days she has barely enough energy to put in a full day at her domestic tasks - but she tries not to be self-absorbed with her health concerns.

An understanding husband and supportive son help a lot, she said.

And Drager has discovered that thinking and doing for others also is an effective medication.

“I do volunteer work at my son's school, but, in the last three years, keeping in contact with my adopted military families has kept me pretty busy,” she said. “I'm at the post office sending things two or three times a week.”

In the highest official military circles, she is dubbed “a military ambassador” or “a parenting partner: (she was awarded a pin with such a designation by the Air Force). But for average soldiers, at least from what can be interpreted from their letters, she is simply a “surrogate mom,” a nurturer by nature.

One soldier in Iraq wrote her and profusely thanked her for sending him a $1 box of brownies. It reminded him of home. He squatted on the floor and in one sitting savored and ate the entire box.

Another asked for shoes and toys that he could give to Afghan children, to reach out and make friends. Drager gladly obliged.

Still another serviceman thanked her for sending him a phone card so he could call his family more often.

Most military personnel invariably thank her for her goodness.

Others insist that her letters of support and encouragement mean as much as their own commitment to throw their lives in harm's way.

She doesn't necessarily believe that, even when grief-stricken families of servicemen killed in action have written to thank her for having touched the lives of their children.

What she does believe is this: “Whatever they ask of me, I try to do. I will not quit on them. And, you know, they don't ask much. In fact, most of them don't want anything. They always say they are fine, just fine. Most are happy to have the personal contact. But I always send something anyway.”

And, perhaps, that's not surprising.

It's just like a caring mother to send a card, a letter or a small package to a loved one -- or even a stranger -- stationed thousands of miles from home.

And it's somehow easier to explain away doing that, with a wave of the hand, a nod of the head and no drawn out words simply feeling it is no sacrifice at all.

Kenneth Masegian, right, who is serving in Iraq, sent this picture of his family in response to a package he received from Brenda Drager of Pennside. Photo courtesy of Brenda Drager

Servicemen, families express appreciation for Brenda Drager's kindness

Brenda Drager of Pennside shared a sampling of the responses to her e-mails, cards and gift packages over the past three years from those serving in the military:

“My name is Sgt. Michael Behm (originally from Florida). I received your e-mail through emailourmilitary.com. I am a military police officer ... now serving in Baghdad. We have been here for over four months now.

“Despite a lot of the bad press we seem to be getting lately, I'm proud to be serving my country, and I believe (and have seen) that we are doing a lot of good.

“ ... When we first got here, I saw children standing around in torn and tattered clothes, and in not so good living conditions. The children I see now are better dressed, better fed and the living conditions look better you can see it in their eyes as you are passing by them and they are waving and giving you the thumbs up.

“ ... It's really great to get an e-mail like yours. You don't know how much it means.”

“Hi. My name is Sgt. Luis Pagan. I am in the United States Army. I work in the storeroom receiving rations so our troops can eat. I have been here little over four months so I have eight months to go hopefully.

“It is flaming hot here. The reason I am writing is that I found hundreds of letters and cards from fellow Americans like you wishing troops happy holidays and the best wishes. I was touched.

“Some letters made me smile and some made me laugh. It took me a few hours to read all the mail I found. I picked out 20 pieces of mail to write back to because I thought it wouldn't be right for these letters to go unanswered.”

Pagan, who recently turned 30, has been in the Army for nearly 10 years and re-enlisted for five more years. He has served several tours of duty in locations throughout the world. He has an 11-year-old daughter who lives with his ex-wife.

“I take great honor and pride wearing this uniform ... (but) coming home is always the greatest thing I have ever felt. It really touches my heart and soul. I thank God that it is finally over. I also thank him for watching over me and keeping me safe from harm.

“Some soldiers are not so lucky to make it home. Which always makes me shed a tear because I wish they were there with me able to hug and kiss their family when we come home. That makes me hug my family even tighter, so tears of sadness turn into tears of joy.”

William J. Andrews II, part of an aviation regiment in Afghanistan, wrote on behalf of the regiment thanking Drager for sending him children's shoes.

“ ... We would like to convey our sincerest appreciation for the contributions you provided. Your gifts helped a countless number of families and children prepare for the harsh winter.

“Our Chinook helicopters deliver shoes and toys throughout the whole country, and to our adopted village of Jegdalek.

“We also visit the hospitals on base which provide medical service to injured local nationals. Recently, after flying over one of the local villages where we just delivered shoes, it was heartwarming to see all the young children running around and waving to us wearing their new white shoes.

“Thank you for your part in our ongoing humanitarian effort.”

Drager received a letter from a Fayetteville, N.C., family thanking her for sending a package to their son, Jason Mehlhoff, who was wounded in Iraq.

“We wanted to write and thank you personally for your get-well package you sent to Jason. We are so grateful to you for your get-well wishes and concern.

“Words cannot express just how much your package meant to us. We are hoping to get up and visit Pennsylvania sometime. Maybe then, if you would like, you can meet Jason and his family.

“ ... God bless you and your family. Thank you for supporting our troops and their families.”

And, finally, this letter, written with pencil on notebook paper, from Kenneth Masegian, a soldier in Iraq.

“Hi, Drager family. First of all I would like to say thank you for the phone card. With the phone card, I called my mother on Mother's Day.

"Before I was sent here I started college. I had finished one semester and then was told I couldn't start another semester."

Assuring Drager that where he is stationed, there are familiar sites such as Burger King and Pizza Hut and even access to the Internet, he went on in a matter-of-fact description, alluding to the dangers of daily, existence in searching for weapons along roads, in cars, in homes. He mentions just one bright spot.

“Here, when we go on missions we search for weapons. We go down the interstate and pull over cars. Then we go through homes and search them as well.

“And if we have food on us - we pass it out. That's the best feeling - giving the poor food and water.”

Contacting military personnel

Shortly after the tragedy of Sept. 11, 2001, the United States Department of Defense, citing privacy and protection concerns, urged Americans not to send unsolicited mail or care packages to military personnel in combat zones unless the sender was a member of the family, or a loved one or close friend.

Particularly citing the long-time holiday soldier mail support program “Operation Dear Abby” and “Any Servicemember,” the defense department, in a release, said, “Although these programs provide an excellent means of support to friends and loved ones stationed overseas, they also provide an avenue to introduce hazardous substances and materials into the mail system from unknown sources.”

“Unsolicited mail, packages and donations ... also compete for limited airlift space used to transport supplies, war-fighting material and mail from loved ones.”

Brenda Drager of Pennside, who for the past three years has been sending mail and packages to specific soldiers, said she has worked exclusively through organizations, often directly connected to the military, to contact military personnel.

She said these groups are particularly sensitive to privacy concerns and do not publish specific addresses or information about ships, units or Web sites involving military personnel in an effort to avoid potential danger to combat troops.

Individuals interested in learning more about keeping in contact with military personnel can check several Web sites, which were helpful to Drager, in becoming a “parenting partner” to servicemen and women.

Some of the Web sites follow: www.adoptaplatoon.org, www.emailourmilitary.com, www.troopfanmail.net, www.operationDearAbby.net, www.angelsncamouflage.org/new.html, www.salts.navy.mil/main/troops/index.html.

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