Two guys are playing golf and they come upon a man lying unconscious at the edge of the fairway. A cell phone call to 911 brings the rescue squad.
They revive the guy and ask him what happened. Says he can't remember. They ask him to reconstruct what happened up to the point of his amnesia.
He says, "I was playing golf with my wife. She hooked one off the tee into this pasture next to the fairway. Well after looking all over the ground for it, I looked up at this cow and there was a golf ball lodged right under her tail. I walked over to the cow, lifted it's tail and yelled to my wife - 'Honey, this sort of looks like yours.'"
That's the last thing I remember......
Teacher assigns class to use the word "beautiful" in a complete sentence. Answers would be read aloud in class the next day.
First was up is little Kathy. She says, "Today I gave the teacher a beautiful apple."
Teacher says that's fine. Now it's Suzie's turn.
Suzie says, "Today I saw a beautiful sunrise."
Again, teacher says that's fine.
Little Johnnie says, "That's nuthin'. I can use the word beautiful twice in the same sentence.
Teacher says, "Please come to the front of the class and tell us.
Johnnie gets up and says, "Last night we're sittin' around the dinner table and my sister tells my father that she's pregnant. Pop says, "That's beautiful, just f**kin beautiful."