Posted on 11/29/2004 6:23:56 AM PST by crushkerry
Welcome to the "tip-off" of "Liberal Pundit Madness", which you can read about HERE. You can view the brackets for the tournament HERE
Each day we will bring you four first round contests, one from each region.
Today's Contests Are As Follows:
Dan Rather (3rd Seed) - Of course "Hurrnicane Dan's" latest stunt of using forged documents to try and bring down Bush 43 led to his "retirement". But his high seed is attained by years of left wing hackery posing as journalism. It started when he goaded President Nixon till Nixon swatted back at him, and continued through the 80's when Bush 41 knocked him on his a$$ for Dan's petulance and cry baby tactics when the French Open ran long. His fawning interviews with Saddam and Fidel also are "feathers" in his cap. Anybody who has a whole website (Ratherbiased.com) devoted to his liberalism has to be a favorite to go a long way.
Julianne Malveaux (14th seed) Many have said she should have been rated higher, but working against her was visibility. She's only a guest on a regular CNN and PBS show, and nobody important carries her column. But her loony liberalism knows no bounds. She is a hateful individual, who first came to our attention for saying that Clarence Thomas' wife should make fried foods so he dies early. Her more recent foolishness was stating that it's "ridiculous" for blacks to say the pledge of allegiance
Molly Ivins (#8 Seed)- Molly is a surprise #8 seed. Many thought she'd be higher, but she only has a syndicated column, and no one really takes her seriously. But she's put up a stellar body or work for this tournament. Her hatred for the Bush family is boundless. After the election she said the following, which pretty much sums up the same crap she's been writing forever: "The Bush administration is going to be wired around the neck of the American people for four more years, long enough for the stench to sicken everybody" The funniest thing about this buffoon however, is that she's a serial plagiarizer The only thing worse than a faux-populist elitist snot, is one who's not even original.
Tom Friedman (#9 Seed) - If Tom can stop looking down on us for a few minutes, he might realize just how snotty and condescending he really is. Yes, he was smart enough to support the war in Iraq, but since then it's been nothing but bash Bush. And when entering the realm of domestic politics he's an incompetent slouch. His constant whining about SUV's and the "religious right" and about how dumb we all are for driving big cars is enough to make any man think of an irritating first wife. You know, the one who nags and nags and always claims they were right. Yeah, they may have been right once in a while, but they were such insufferable bores that you just would look for any excuse to grab earplugs.
Janeane Garofalo (#7 Seed)-Janeane gets in even though she's originally an actress. Her lunatic ravings can be heard daily on "Air America" (if you are one of the 3 listening) so she's a pundit. Garafolo is just plain "out there". She gave up her acting "career" when liberal talk radio came around because ``I just couldn't stand the direction the country has been going in over the last 30 years, with the rise of the right and the right-wing media's rhetoric, and the dumbing down of our culture because of it. How is it that we're moving backward to anti-intellectualism and nationalism and xenophobia?" Now match an attitude like that with an annoying, screeching, voice and a "You peasants are so stupid" demeanor and you've got someone like Janeane who makes you want to find a sledgehammer and pound whatever TV or radio she's on.
Katrina Vandenhuevel (#10 seed) Ok, I'll admit it. A few years ago I thought she was fairly good looking in a bohemian, hippy type of way. But after listening to her political philosophy it wouldn't matter if she was Halle Berry. She's the editor of the Soviet Union-loving, America-hating magazine The Nation, which hardly anyone reads. She would be rated higher if she were more than a part time guest on Hardball. She is the classic upper West Side liberal. First, she's an typical Trust-fund heiress, yet she claims to be for the "common man", all the while eating caviar, sipping champagne, and driving around in gas guzzling limos we're sure. Next, she doesn't even know who her Congressperson is. Most likely because she wished it was someone whom she could have used the word "Comrade" for before saying the name. Look up "elitist snot" in the dictionary and her picture is there. Many have said, she's the dark horse of the tournament.
Jon Stewart (#2 Seed) - If "left wing hip" had a poster boy it would be this sawed off little runt. The anti-hero created by Generation "Duh" is actually fairly talented, except of course when talking politics. He's an unabashed Kerry supporter, who thinks that a Bush Presidency means "the demise and erosion of the world". His smarky, smug, arrogance as evidenced by calling Tucker Carlson a "dick" on CNN's Crossfire is boundless. In fact he got a #2 seed despite being on Comedy Central solely because of his condescending attitude. That and he's exactly the type of guy all the jocks and cool kids probably beat up in high school, who was driven to success just because he thought it would "show the guys who gave me swirlies" that I'm better than them.
Jim Hightower (#15 Seed) - Yeah, we know what you're asking. Who is Jim Hightower. Well, he's actually a nationally syndicated radio host who once thought he could be the left's Rush Limbaugh. Actually he became the latest "yesterday's news". His career is over, but like "Milton" in the movie Office Space he's too dumb to know it. He has called President Bush a "Prostitute"
What about Ted Rall? He drives me batty with just the headers for his columns. I can't even begin to read the crap that is supposed to pass for writing.
When the key word is "sneaky little suckerpunch" I'm voting for David Gregory of NBC.
"Damn, I told Kerry I shoulda used different hair gel."
Hmmm... Malveaux sorta translates into "Mad Cow" in Crapweaselch (formerly known as French).
Janine Garofalo looks like she's trying to become Ann Coulter, but has to rely on screwing with the horizontal hold.
Jim, Jim, Jim... perfect East-Coast liberalism: "Dress him up like a hick, and maybe we can fool them Texans into thinking he's one of them!"
Jon Stewart, still auditioning for the Hanes commercial?
Tom Friedman looks like the Drama coach who got fired for insisting Tinkerbell should be played by a boy.
>>but her second round could be ugly if she has to face Helen Thomas.<<
So to speak. :^)
Whoa, hold on their big fella (or gal). This is a 64 person tournament, and both of those you mention are listed. Check out the links in the original post, that take you to the full bracket.
We're doing 4 matches a day. Trust me, those people's time will come.
Yea, and where is Bill O'reilly?
LOL!
Man, is that ever a "full mental bracket"! (But who's running the pool?)
This is "for entertainment only", mainly because we don't know how to make it for "non-entertainment purposes". Also becuase this kind of poll is pretty easy to manipulate if someone has money on it.
She's also one of the idiots foaming at the mouth about the election being stolen. She's like some crazy person insisting the Earth is flat and then berating you for being so ignorant. I'm actually a bit embarrassed for her, but she gets my vote.
Dukakis and Kerry are both Mass. liberals .Why do they have different regions?
Since the tournament is basically for losers, each failed Democratic Presidential candiate has their own region. Since Mondale was beat the worst, the trophy is named after him, and the regions for the last 4 unsuccessful Dem candidates.
It's started.
She said the other day that she takes Adderall all the time. It is like Ritalin but much stronger. My son said, "MOM, That stuff will make you psycho!"
It is Garofalo, I rest my case!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.