Now back to moose and squirrel!
Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1
I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!
It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."
Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.
Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.
Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."
There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.
If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.
He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.
All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.
This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.
Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.
However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.
No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.
He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.
As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.
And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.
Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!
What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?
From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.
And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.
Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."
The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.
Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com
I've always loved Seinfeld. But of all the family that I didn't have living in New York, I don't think any of them liked it. I always thought it was more of a New York thing.
I assume you reference Seinfeld, rather than R&B. Although I never made it the center of my life by any stretch of the imagination, Seinfeld had some pretty funny moments. Like, when Kramer was hitting Titleists into the ocean, and George, having lied about being a marine biologist to get a date, ended up pulling one of Kramer's golf balls from the blowhole of a beached whale. Sounds stupid when you type it out, but it was a VERY funny episode.
I'm not familiar with it.
I'd say for the time, Boris and Natasha were most political.
Who couldn't love some short little guy in a bad suit searching for a way to get rid of "Moose and Sqvirrel"?
That's right, Lieutenant Smash! Lieutenant LT Smash!
I think I may be the only person on the planet that didn't like Seinfeld. I thought they were self-absorbed twits.
I'm honored. Shecky Green was an underrated comic genius. Thank you.
Nope, you are not alone. I couldn't stand it either.
Seinfeld rocked! I'm a little bit Kramer, a little bit George, and a little bit Elaine myself.
Agreed. It's a NY thing. I love Seinfeld, still. It works on so many levels.
And as far as the author saying that you learn from Elaine that women have no sense of humor, the fact that she had a weak sense of humor was funny (even though Estelle had less of a sense of humor, "not even a 'HA'."). The woman behind the woman, Julia, the real woman, had a great sense of humor if you watch the out-takes.
Don't feel like the Lone Ranger - I never got Seinfeld either. I'm one of those antediluvian types who actually enjoys that outmoded thing known as a "plot".
It seems like every television show on the planet is set in New York City, and I just don't find the citizens of that particular burg nor the town itself all that interesting or riveting.
Shecky, like other people who are good at their craft, made it look easy. Deceptively easy.
As long as you're not even a little Newman, you're probably O.K.
Seinfeld: Blue State.
I myself am Red State politically, but blue state culturally.
I won't flog a deceased equine, BUT:
It was a huge Shaggy Dog story in which our intrepid heros come across a treasue.. a little golden model ship encrusted with rubies.... there is a name embossed on the model... ( Get it? ) Many misadventures ensue.
Took me YEARS ( and being an adult) before I got that!
Told ya. Seinfeld is a HORROR PICTURE.
Now back to moose and squirrel!
Kramer is 55, Jerry is 50. This is Generation X?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.