Posted on 12/09/2004 11:35:41 AM PST by zetapsi
When I was thirteen, I had the best group of friends a kid could ask for. There was the goofball, the student, the lackey(s), the rich kid, and a few others who fit the various white suburban archetypes. As every other generation of the twentieth century, music was a large tie that bound us. The various groups of friends in junior high and high school were graphed according to their particular musical preferences, and ours was heavy metal. Not the fun metal of the 80's, but the dark, deep, and passionate metal of the early 90's.
The forefront of this effrontery was a band called Pantera. With its dark melodic tone and emboldened lyrics, Pantera provided legions of fans with an ethos they could adopt and call their own...and we did. We could recite all the lyrics and guitar riffs as if we had written them ourselves, and deep in our hearts we felt as though we had. This music was the manifestation of, and manifested, a cross-section of the American public that knew there was just something a little off about the world and what we were being packaged and force-fed.
I was awoken this morning by the voice of David Asman of Foxnews, as he read aloud that "Dimebag" Darrell Abbot, the Guitarist for Pantera, had been shot dead on stage performing with his new band Damageplan in Columbus, Ohio. My first thought was not of how this effected me and the music I so devoutly cherish, and not of the aforementioned legion of fans, I thought of Gabe.
Gabe was the spiritual leader of our little group of friends. He was one of us, a white suburban kid, but he had a rebel quality that we all wanted so badly. He was the kid with the sloppy long hair, the kid that had the new underground CD we hadn't even heard of yet, and the kid who had the affection of the girl we all liked. He was a sharply handsome kid, starkly resembling Luke Perry which he always detested being told, but would've probably rather been ugly just to protest against his parents' proper tones. Essentially, a true literary comparison to his place in the world is something like the "Chris Chambers" character in the film Stand By Me. As much as anything that was mythical about him, he was the first of the group to learn to play guitar. Soon enough, one could tell that he was a musician in the very core of his soul and we loved him for it.
When I got my guitar, in attempt to be him someday, Gabe would give me a few pointers. The first two songs he showed me how to play were "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath (invariably the first metal song one learns on guitar) and "I'm Broken" by Pantera. The guitar riff for "I'm Broken" is a relatively easy one, being that a musical beginner got the hang of it in just a few days, but it is one that has resonated my being and remains with me ever since. Sure its lyrics have a deep meaning within me and it was one of the first songs I learned on a guitar, but there is something greater within it. There is a sound deep within the deafening opening riff, and when you listen carefully, you will cry and yearn for a day that is gone.
The world takes its cruel turns, and Gabe and I no longer speak. I have always wanted to rectify this, but never has it been so painful as I cannot discuss the passing of a childhood hero with him, who was not far from the same distinction. To this day Gabe is as mythic to me as he was back then, perhaps even more so. It is counterproductive to dwell in the negative, and only G-d knows that I have served my sentence, but this day has reminded me that innocence once did truly exist. For this I am grateful, and once again from tragedy comes understanding. I don't know how Gabe is, or even who he is for that matter. I don't know whether he became the Rock Star I wanted him so desperately to become, but I'm not sure if I really care about that. Despite not knowing, something deep inside me tells me that he is fine, and that everything makes sense in his life, at least the way he would define it.
As I write this, I am seated in a crowded room where none of the people have any idea that someone so important died last night. I am wearing the "Pantera Shirt" that I got at my first Pantera Concert. This is the shirt I wore under my gown at my High School and College Graduation, and I wear it today to celebrate a man whose life taught me about who I am, and whose death has taught me about who I have become and that memories stay close to your heart no matter how distant they seem.
Today is a sad day, a hero has fallen. But Darrell Abbot was a different kind of hero. Sure he was a gifted Rock Star with millions of loyal fans, and inspired many to appreciate music and even make their own. But to Gabe, and I, and others, he was apart of something more. Pantera provided the soundtrack to our youth. They provided answers to questions that the rest of the world wasn't ready to ask. This violent death of one of my childhood heroes does not incline me to ask those dark questions, it makes me want to live again in the time when I thought I knew those answers.
;o)
I found it strange that Darrell was murdered on the anniversary of John Lennon's murder.
Ha, thats funny. Pantera's certainly not for everyone, but it made sense when I was young and suffering from teenaged angst. They're very heavy and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone not already into that kind of music to tell the truth. The column is certainly less about them and more about what the music meant.
Drivel comes to mind.
The metalhead subculture weeps for a loss of one of it's star guitarists. Darrell will be missed.
Hero is possibly the most overused word in the English language.
The guy was a good guitarist, he wrote songs that resonate with a small subsection of American youth. It's a shame he was murdered. That's all.
I'll save the term hero for people who voluntarily put their lives on the line for others, and not waste it on musicians or ballplayers.
I offer as exhibit A ...
I don't know how Gabe is, or even who he is for that matter. I don't know whether he became the Rock Star I wanted him so desperately to become, but I'm not sure if I really care about that. Despite not knowing, something deep inside me tells me that he is fine, and that everything makes sense in his life, at least the way he would define it.
Gabe is a banker now dude.
The author seemed to think he had something important to say, but instead wrote a poor man's version of an episode for a show like The Wonder Years.
As Telemann's Tafelmusik plays on my CD drive at this moment, I cannot say I feel any connection to Pantera either.
Amen. It is a sad day for all those who were touched by Darrell and his music.
I am reminded, however, of when Kurt Cobain died. I was in college and watching MTV. The news weenie came on, announced his death (by suicide), and solemnly intoned that kids shouldn't follow his lead and kill themselves. My first thought was that "The idiots at MTV don't have much respect for me or my generation".......
Stranger still: December 8th is Jim Morrison's birthday.
(((cue "Twilight Zone" music)))
certainly noted, as I do have one of my best friends fighting in Iraq. I was referring to that word as it stood when I was 13.
Kind of reminded me of the guy with the guitar on the stairs in Animal House ... "I gave my love a cherry"
I was always more into Iron Maiden and Megadeth back then, but had started listening to and enjoying Pantera of late. Sad news to hear.
"So out of the darkness and into the light Sparks fly everywhere in sight From my double barrel, 12 gauge, Can’t lock me in your cage You see us comin’ And you all together run for cover We’re takin over this town"
Is all that necessary? I guess I did make a mistake on posting it on the News site instead of the bloggers site... but I wouldn't insult something you felt serious enough to write something about. A little tact, no?
Living here in Dallas, I must say while Pantera is not my musical taste, Darrell and Vinnie are a part of this community, especially with their support of the local sports teams (the Dallas Stars theme song that was a huge part of their Stanley Cup run in 1999). I've heard nothing but good things about the guy, he was always very approachable. All the local radio stations here in DFW have been talking about this non-stop today, even the local sports talk radio station, where Vinny used to call into once in awhile.
Anger is good sometimes. Me, I like Nine Inch Nails. But I learned the hard way not to listen to it while stuck in L.A. traffic. Made me want to start blamelessly blasting the wheels out from under every vehicle in front of me.
I am reminded, however, of when Kurt Cobain died.
I hated Cobain's music, but I'll give him credit for giving death a trial run (via drug-induced coma) before actually committing to it by munching the metal popsicle. (Saw pics of that one... Nasty.)
He truly was a good man. I had always planned, in the back of my mind anyway, to go to Dallas and go to one of their bars. That Dallas Stars song is awesome, btw.
As well as Sam Kinison, Kim Basinger, Terri Hatcher.
The hardest thing about December 8th for me is that it was the day Slim Pickens and Marty Robbins died.
Pretty big co-inkydink if you ask me, there's something strange going on here.
Oh well, I have to get back to listening to the voices.
You'd be surprised (or maybe not :-0) at the number of people that go to shows all punked or ruded out, then change their clothes and go to work at their 9-to-5 bank job the next day. It's a good outlet for stress.
I am glad to hear he had such good company. Through the home videos, an entire culture of fans truly felt as close to him as we did to each other. The closest I ever got to meeting him was him shaking his hand as he was walking offstage at a concert, and even that I loved.
I will miss back stage at Billy Bob's drinking Crown like water... or better yet... House of babes and a babe buffet... Dime was a great man he touched a lot of souls and now God has another rocking guitar player to add to "his" band.... GODSPEED DIME!!!!!!
If I were Kim or Terri, I wouldn't be buying any green bananas!
No you didn't. There were no pics, nor was it "nasty." He only had blood dripping out of his ear.
Pat Tillman was a hero.
Pop stars that die because of their 'lifestyle' are not.
Pop stars that die because of their 'lifestyle' are not.
No argument from me. This musican was a celebrity, not a hero. I gave up worshiping celebrities when I was 17.
Pat Tillman is certainly a Hero in its truest sense, and no one would ever challenge that (besides liberals). Darrell was a "different kind of Hero," as stated in the title. No one is trying to equate the two. He was a celebrity, and yes worshiping celebrities is wrong... but the subject here was 13 year old kids who loved music.... not conscious adults the way we are... well I am, anyway.
Point taken. As I said in a previous post, I started to quit worshiping them at about 17. Those that held my attention have long since morphed into characitures ... folks like Keith Richards who now looks (to quote Dave Barry) like an iguana that has learned to stand on its hind legs and play a guitar.
"Darrell Abbot was gunned down, unprovoked, by a psycho. How's that the fault of his 'lifestyle'?"
Um, if you sleep with dogs....
Seriously, doing the bar life, espacially in rock bars, the clientele is a bit wild and prone to violence.
Getting killed in such an environment is neither rare nor heroic.
"JFK- according to Webster's both Pat Tillman and Dime are hero's..."
Good lord, which of those four do you think fits Dime?
Extreme admiration? Are you kidding?
So if I get shot going to a bar tommorrow night, I deserve it? I never said there was anything heroic about his death, it was only a heroism in his art that was appreciated by a group of 13 year old kids.
"Dimebag" refers to a bag of marijuana.... tacky yes, but when you're 13, it made complete sense.
"You don't, because this is a unique occurrence."
LOL, oh really?
Hahahahahah, that was funny.
"So if I get shot going to a bar tommorrow night, I deserve it?"
Never saud anyone 'deserved' anything.
I said he was in pursuit of a lifestyle that pasy good cash and has risks associated with it. The odds caught up to him, and that does not make him a hero.
Very Cool...Good Job.
Yup, just your normal, everyday lifestyle:
Tim Buckley: Mistaking a lethal dose of heroin and morphine for cocaine
John Bonham, Led Zepplin: Fell asleep after heavy drinking and choked in his own vomit
Aaliyah: Private plane crashed. Heavy suspicions of the overloaded plane. Later was found out also that the pilot had cocaine in his urine and alcohol in his blood.
Johnny Ace: Shot himself while playing Russian roulette
Stuart Adamson, Big Country: Found dead in a hotel in Hawaii. According to police, the cause of death was asphyxia due to hanging.
Paul Butterfield, Butterfield Blues Band: Drug overdose
Steve Clark, Def Leppard: Alcoholism
Kurt Cobain, Nirvana: Shot himself with a shotgun
Roy Buchanan: Hanged himself in a police cell
Del Shannon: Suicide
Shep Sheppard, The Heartbeats: Found dead in his car; he has been attacked, robbed and beaten to death.
Gary Stewart: Suicide
Florence Ballard, Supremes: Cardiac arrest after ingested pills and alcohol
Mike Bloomfield, Butterfield Blues Band, electric Flag:Apparently accidental drug overdose, found dead in his car
Tommy Bolin, Deep Purple: Heroin Overdose
Brian Cole, The Association: Heroin overdose
Sam Cooke: Shot dead in a motel room
Vince Crand, Chessmen: Committed suicide with an overdose of sleeping tablets
Ian Curtis: Committed suicide by hanging:
Terry Kath, Chicago: Accidentally shot himself by playing with a pistol
John Lennon, Beatles: Shot by Mark Chapman
Little Walter: Died of a head injury after a fight
Marvin Gaye: shot dead by his father during a violent argument
George Lowell, Little Feat: Heart attack due to drug abuse
King Curtis, The Coasters: Was stabbed to death in a barroom brawl
Bon Scott, AC/DC: Choked on his own vomit in the back of the car after a drinking binge.
Shall I continue?
zygoat - Yeah, Dimebag was shot and killed because he was involved in the rock lifestyle.
JFK_Lib - No, that isnt what I said. He took higher risks to be in that lifestyle and it caught up to him. That does not equate to 'cause', merely increased risk. This may be news to you, but being in bars alot does things to your health and increases the likelihood of bad things happening to you.
I grew up in Arlington TX near a place they used to call 'The Strip' or 'The County Line'. There are places like that all over the country, and the people I knew who worked at the 'clubs' in that place knew it was a dangerous lifestyle and they hated it. My mom worked there for a few years right after her divorce, trying to make enough money on waitresses tips to feed three kids. I had the pleasure of seeing a fight where am man got knifed one night - I think he died but no one could tell me later if he did or not. He was just some John Doe who came in for a drink and got into a tussle with some ex-con who didnt fight fair. Imagine that; he stopped for a drink on the way home and got set up by some jerk and got knifed for it, for just wanting a drink.
No matter how you cut it, if you work in bars doing whatever you are taking much greater risks of harm than someone who works in a warehouse, driving a truck, etc. And if some forklift guy picks up a poorly stacked skid and something falls off and hits him in the head killing him, it does NOT make him a hero. It makes him an accident victim.
zygoat - What does the JFK stand for in your screen name? I sure hope it isn't John F. Kennedy because he got his brains blown out for being involved in the political lifestyle. What about people who are killed in their workplace by disgruntled co-workers? Should have stayed out of working for a living, I suppose. And that is where Dimebag lost his life, on the job.
JFK_Lib - Yep, stands for John F Kennedy, a great President and the last one we had from a generation of Presidents that had both Western values and enormous respect for the interests of the common worker. Reagan was a great President but his Social Darwinist streak kinda left me a bit cold, but he was a great President too.
zygoat - As a 44 year old guitarist I have heard only a few musicians I regard as "Guitar Hero's". I can count them on one hand. And Dimebag is certainly on the list.
JFK_Lib - Well, thats great. In my book he is nowhere near Pat Tillman, Autie Murphy, Sgt York or David Crockett.
zygoat - To those of you who came to this thread to trash a truly gifted musician because of his nickname, I say you could not comprehend the hours of practice and dedication it took to reach his level of skill.
JFK_Lib - Why do you suppose they came here for that reason? I concede he was probably an excellent guitarist. I just rankle when I here people deify someone whose sole claim to fame was playing a musical instrument and getting high. It just seems out-of-whack.
zygoat - You are morbid freaking ghouls, out for no reason other than to enjoy the response you get for insulting someone we care about.
JFK_Lib - I insulted no one, but merely put them in perspective. Thats all.
zygoat - How does it feel to know that you wouldn't make a pimple on a guy named "Dimebag"'s ass?
JFK_Lib - Well, I have never really aspired to be a pimple on anyones ass so it really doesnt bother me at all. But thanks for the reassurance.
You know, there is a difference between "GUITAR HERO" and Pat Tillman don't you? It's called context. There are Football heros', baseball heros', nascar heros' and even sandwich heros. CONTEXT. It means they achieve what few others can in their particular persuit.
" JFK_Lib - Yep, stands for John F Kennedy, a great President and the last one we had from a generation of Presidents that had both Western values and enormous respect for the interests of the common worker. Reagan was a great President but his Social Darwinist streak kinda left me a bit cold, but he was a great President too.'
Social Darwinist streak?
Thank you for explaining this to our confused friend...
I think the way that he is talking he is more akin to the likes of John Forbes Kerry than the much greater and wiser John F Kennedy...
Which by the way if he saw the shape of the democratic party today he would jump ship and become a republican...
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