Posted on 12/09/2004 11:35:41 AM PST by zetapsi
When I was thirteen, I had the best group of friends a kid could ask for. There was the goofball, the student, the lackey(s), the rich kid, and a few others who fit the various white suburban archetypes. As every other generation of the twentieth century, music was a large tie that bound us. The various groups of friends in junior high and high school were graphed according to their particular musical preferences, and ours was heavy metal. Not the fun metal of the 80's, but the dark, deep, and passionate metal of the early 90's.
The forefront of this effrontery was a band called Pantera. With its dark melodic tone and emboldened lyrics, Pantera provided legions of fans with an ethos they could adopt and call their own...and we did. We could recite all the lyrics and guitar riffs as if we had written them ourselves, and deep in our hearts we felt as though we had. This music was the manifestation of, and manifested, a cross-section of the American public that knew there was just something a little off about the world and what we were being packaged and force-fed.
I was awoken this morning by the voice of David Asman of Foxnews, as he read aloud that "Dimebag" Darrell Abbot, the Guitarist for Pantera, had been shot dead on stage performing with his new band Damageplan in Columbus, Ohio. My first thought was not of how this effected me and the music I so devoutly cherish, and not of the aforementioned legion of fans, I thought of Gabe.
Gabe was the spiritual leader of our little group of friends. He was one of us, a white suburban kid, but he had a rebel quality that we all wanted so badly. He was the kid with the sloppy long hair, the kid that had the new underground CD we hadn't even heard of yet, and the kid who had the affection of the girl we all liked. He was a sharply handsome kid, starkly resembling Luke Perry which he always detested being told, but would've probably rather been ugly just to protest against his parents' proper tones. Essentially, a true literary comparison to his place in the world is something like the "Chris Chambers" character in the film Stand By Me. As much as anything that was mythical about him, he was the first of the group to learn to play guitar. Soon enough, one could tell that he was a musician in the very core of his soul and we loved him for it.
When I got my guitar, in attempt to be him someday, Gabe would give me a few pointers. The first two songs he showed me how to play were "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath (invariably the first metal song one learns on guitar) and "I'm Broken" by Pantera. The guitar riff for "I'm Broken" is a relatively easy one, being that a musical beginner got the hang of it in just a few days, but it is one that has resonated my being and remains with me ever since. Sure its lyrics have a deep meaning within me and it was one of the first songs I learned on a guitar, but there is something greater within it. There is a sound deep within the deafening opening riff, and when you listen carefully, you will cry and yearn for a day that is gone.
The world takes its cruel turns, and Gabe and I no longer speak. I have always wanted to rectify this, but never has it been so painful as I cannot discuss the passing of a childhood hero with him, who was not far from the same distinction. To this day Gabe is as mythic to me as he was back then, perhaps even more so. It is counterproductive to dwell in the negative, and only G-d knows that I have served my sentence, but this day has reminded me that innocence once did truly exist. For this I am grateful, and once again from tragedy comes understanding. I don't know how Gabe is, or even who he is for that matter. I don't know whether he became the Rock Star I wanted him so desperately to become, but I'm not sure if I really care about that. Despite not knowing, something deep inside me tells me that he is fine, and that everything makes sense in his life, at least the way he would define it.
As I write this, I am seated in a crowded room where none of the people have any idea that someone so important died last night. I am wearing the "Pantera Shirt" that I got at my first Pantera Concert. This is the shirt I wore under my gown at my High School and College Graduation, and I wear it today to celebrate a man whose life taught me about who I am, and whose death has taught me about who I have become and that memories stay close to your heart no matter how distant they seem.
Today is a sad day, a hero has fallen. But Darrell Abbot was a different kind of hero. Sure he was a gifted Rock Star with millions of loyal fans, and inspired many to appreciate music and even make their own. But to Gabe, and I, and others, he was apart of something more. Pantera provided the soundtrack to our youth. They provided answers to questions that the rest of the world wasn't ready to ask. This violent death of one of my childhood heroes does not incline me to ask those dark questions, it makes me want to live again in the time when I thought I knew those answers.
I agree. This practice seems to be of the same genre as the Hollywood elites who become political experts. Great musicians may be musical heroes -- a musician whos capabilities you may aspire to -- but usually aren't deserving of the "hero" title earned by self-sacrificing troops, police officers, firemen, etc.
"I agree. This practice seems to be of the same genre as the Hollywood elites who become political experts. Great musicians may be musical heroes -- a musician whos capabilities you may aspire to -- but usually aren't deserving of the "hero" title earned by self-sacrificing troops, police officers, firemen, etc."
Exactly, thank you for speaking up.
I just dont understand how someone can be so obsessed with something that those who are good at it seem to qualify, in their minds, as idols, gods, heros, etc. A hero because he can pluck a string on a guitar well? PUHLEASE!
And to state this minimal ammount of Truth to these folks qualifies in their mind as trashing their guy? That is just looney.
But thats about it for me. The idol worshippers can have it; I've said my peice and I will repeat it one last time.
Dime was no hero and he died a pointless death.
Get over it.
*Shrug* I suppose heroism is in the eye of the beholder. I didn't know Darrell's music nor him personally. I'm sorry for the loss you feel at his death. That his killer was finally taken out of commission himself is one the only outcomes approaching justice for which we could have hoped.
Too many syllables... Man you are a riot... I find it amazing that someone who can not understand the concept of context would try to belittle me for a word having to many syllables.
JFK people that live in glass houses should not throw stones...
I also wanted to address a previous comment you made. You have missed the point my friend... This post was not about wheter or not he died a hero's death... It has to do with the fact that he is a HERO to millions of people and that indeed makes him a different kind of hero...
I think the underlying jealousy here is that your sphere of influence only extends to you immediate friends and family and that you only wish that you could have influenced even a protion of the people that Darrell DID... NOW I WANT YOU TO STOP BEING RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE, SOME OF US(INCLUDING ME) KNEW DARRELL VERY WELL, I WILL TELL YOU HE WAS A HERO HE CARED ABOUT PEOPLE, HE LOVED MANKIND AND HE BROUGHT SOMETHING SPECIAL INTO THIS WORLD (WHICH I DARE STEP ACROSS THE LINE AND QUESTION IF YOU EVER HAVE)... AND THAT MY FRIEND MAKES HIM A HERO!!!!!
While I do agree with you, it's also understandable for those who really loved his music and are mourning his death to have pretty sensitive feelings about it right now. I'll just wish all his fans some comfort in their time of sorrow and save the rest of the debate for another day.
I am not even a big fan I was a freind to him... I miss him I do not morn him... I know that where he is I hope to one day be...
That is not the point the point is that you must have never passed 8th grade english, and I also think that you are not the liberal you claim to be... One questions aren't liberals the ones who are open to Hollywood and discussion and new ideas??? Wait they only say they are to hide their true inner cowardice....
My friend JFK I wish you lived near me because you need a whole heep on good ol' fashion whoop arse...
Eye of the beholder is exactly were a hero is... I am glad you picked up on the point...
Look, you've repeatedly said your piece and let it stand as is. You guys can fight amongst yourselves as to what defines hero.... but I will state it again:
HE WAS A HERO TO A GROUP OF 13 YEAR OLDS!!!!!
Where in lies the political angst that is evoked from this?? When I was 13, Bill Clinton was in his first year and the only thing I knew about politics was that my parents were Democrats (somehow I survived that!). There was no War on Terror, no 9/11, no grand enemy to evoke the kind of the kind of faith in Nationalism that exists today. When you're a kid, your friends are everything... and when I was a kid, this man brought my friends and I to a closeness and understanding that only his death brought to my consciousness years later. How is that not heroic??
That is a very respectable stance. I don't understand the purpose in simply joining a post to trash someone's feelings about their youth because their idea of heroism is misguided at 13!!
Thanks for takin charge, I'm glad you understand the "Context" that exists in the heroism of a band of younger kids.
Look, I appologize for hurting your feelings, that wasnt my intent.
I just dont buy into this subjective view of life.
Something is what it is and our wishing doesnt make it any different.
By calling this guy a hero, you are saying that you have great admiration for him, something I cant share but I dont need to.
Sorry for hacking you guys off by trying to impose perspective when many of you are greiving. I was not trying to add to that greif.
I hope things go well for you all and have a merry Christmas otherwise.
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