Posted on 12/17/2004 9:25:01 AM PST by John Robertson
Thank you. Some of her dorm friends, and the dorm resident, took it upon themselves to notify us. They said they were "reluctant," but had to act. We were grateful!
Thank you for your thoughts. We have launched an action. One of the things we learned was that a confrontational "intervention" is a big No-no with these patients. I would have thought the exact opposite--confront, face it, etc.
Very kind thoughts. Thanks.
Good grades, lots of good friends.
I know you mean well, but there's a simple way we know drugs are not the case: We're so poor we can't pay attention. If she were using drugs, she'd have to buy them, and she is on a stricter budget than ever we are. We are in almost daily communication with her, and several dormmates, friends, her roommate and the dorm resident have contacted us with their reactions and suspicions. Drugs never came up.
I am truly impressed--and overwhelmed--with the great thoughts, suggestions, etc. I am grateful to be a member of this generous community.
Very thoughtful. And thought-provoking. Yes, first-born. Yes, fairly strict upbringing. Yes, a father she's always trying to please. Jeez, I'm feeling a little guilty right now. But thank you.
Thank you, very much.
I commuted most of my years at a university --- so it was just a portion of my day. The rest --the majority -- was work and home. Even at the time I thought I was very lucky not having to live there and be there 24-7. I'm not sure I would have survived that --- I preferred the work world and of course home to the strangeness and ivory tower world of the university. I love taking classes and so I still do and always will --- but I've never felt like I missed anything by never having the expeience of living in a dorm with a bunch of strangers.
Good luck, God bless.
That was plenty of help, thank you.
Thank you, friend.
Agreed... I still live at home with my mom and sister. I could probably scrap by in a little apartment but for what reason? Family support is invaluable.
Don't feel guilty. ALL girls want to please their dad and dad's SHOULD be strict! Sounds like you are a great father. None of us are perfect parents....we do the best we can and hope our kids get through. ALL of us have to deal with problems concerning our children at some point or another.
This may sound dumb, but I react the opposite of most people when I get upset or depressed: I can't eat. No appetite. Has your daughter been depressed? Break up with boyfriend?
Hang in there!
What a response! Thank you! I've been brought to tears by the "giving" on this thread, from Freepers, but you sound as if you made a real, committed effort to offer help. Everyone has been sincere, of course, but you were quite amazing. Thank you, Freeper Friend.
Link to treatment centers specializing in anorexia/bulimia.
http://www.addictionresourceguide.com/specpop/anorexia.html
This is a place to start, but I have no idea whether these are the best treatment centers available.
If you need to get yoour daughter into treatment, please be very sure about the quality of care she'll get. Sorry, I have no particular experience with anorexia, but do know quite a bit about treatment centers and the people who run them. It's difficult to find the one that's right for a particular patient, and they are terribly expensive. Some insurance companies cover them, even generously, but not all companies do. No point wasting valuable resources on a place that won't really help. It would do more harm than good.
If you have a physician in your area who SPECIALIZES in anorexia/bulemia, please go see him/her with your daughter and keep looking until you find one your daughter LIKES.
Most health professionals, including and especially MDs, are not very educated about any kind of addiction and have little to offer you. Poor treatment can only prolong the problem and make it worse.
Yes, anorexia is a form of addiction. All addictions are cunning and baffling and hard to understand and overcome. The best indicator of success is the addicts willingness to change. Addict must seem like a harsh word to you, but please, please don't take your daughter's condition lightly. The best thing you reported is, it's a new thing for her. That bodes well. Nip it in the bud!
Also, see if you can find a nearby 12-step recovery program for anorexics. They may be part of Overeaters Anonymous, which is for people with "eating disorders." Best if you can find a group that is more for the undereater than the overeater. Your local physician who treats anorexics may conduct groups or know about resources in your area. I know many people who have recovered fully from all kinds of addictions through the 12 steps, which is basically a spiritual program.
My heartfelt best wishes for her success in overcoming this disorder.
Thank you for your wonderful thoughts, and your prayers.
I don't know what is going on with her, but she is deeply troubled about something and stopping eating is just a symptom of that problem. Let her know you love her. Let her know you are her friend. Let her know she is a wonderful person and you are always in her corner. Find out what she is troubled about and go from there.
Here's one piece of advice I could give without playing Doctor, which I'm not. We all have our demons. A lot of us have been where your daughter is but with slightly different demons. A lot of us also beat those demons with the help of loved ones and the Big Guy. She is not alone.
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