Posted on 12/17/2004 9:25:01 AM PST by John Robertson
My wife and I just got word from my daughter's college that we will be shocked when we see her tonight, when she gets home for Christmas break. We were fairly shocked at Thanksgiving, at the weight she'd dropped. Her personality is off, she has lost her sense of humor, has mood swings, her menstruation has stopped, she can barely sleep. She's eating, but not much. A few granola bars a day, and water. She is not skeletal, certainly, but way too thin, and her "spark" is gone. She may or may not be taking some vitamin supplements we got her. Though she is not officially diagnosed, she exhibits enough signs of the syndrome that saying, "Let's wait and see" is simply major denial. She's got it. My wife is scrambling right now, looking for the right local program or specialist in our area (Pittsburgh) to deal with her. The situation is dire.
Freepers, I know I don't have to ask for your prayers--you all offer them so readily. I will thank you in advance for them, though.
I am asking for advice, tips, suggestions, etc.
And a warning, at the risk of sounding like an ingrate: No "humor." Not today. This is family, this is life.
Thank you.
Time to take her out of the out-of-town college, enroll her locally, and keep an eye on her.
So sorry to hear about your daughter.
As I personally haven't had any experience with anorexia, I don't have much to offer, just prayers.
Maybe she should be kept home for a semester, if possible, for care and support from you.
Anorexia is a very tough thing to deal with. It affects all sorts of girls, and is hard to treat.
You're not to blame, but you can do a lot to help. The most difficult thing is getting the person to recognize that they are in trouble. It sounds like your daughter already recognizes that.
The next step is to get her to a professional who treats this disorder. You can't do it yourself. A combination of medications and therapy can do wonders, as long as the person with the disorder wants to be helped. Spiritual help can also be a big boost, if your daughter has religious beliefs.
Your role will be a supportive one.
I know two families who have anorexic daughters. They're both working very hard with their daughters to get through this.
Please have strength in dealing with this, and take whatever help you can find. Love your daughter and support her in her recovery. But...you cannot fix this alone.
My thoughts will be with you.
How or why is that your daughters college gave you a "Warning"...have they been offerening some therapy for her?
John. My heart goes out to you. May I suggest that you have some skepticism about the drugs are not the problem issue? Her symptoms are very consistent with cocaine or meth usage--weight loss, personality change, rarely eats, rarely sleeps. Perhaps further inquiry in this area is warranted. I believe there are tests using hair that can look at drug history over a several month period.
I have another thought. Has she been shown a hideous propoganda movie by PETA? Has she become a vegan? If her weight loss is because she has become a vegan, nutritional education will help her and she will stop losing weight.
Get professional advice, rule out drug use, etc., and consider an intervention with qualified assistance.
Some anti-depressants can help. I would contact your family doctor, go in and see him or her together with your wife, and have the doctor help come up with a plan.
God bless you...prayers!
I think this tends to be more of a symptom of other problems than an isolated problem in itself. Can you get her to talk to a psychiatrist or clergyman? Maybe they could help her.
A friend of mine's wife went through this for a while, but I think she's recovered now.
Prayers for you, your wife, and your daughter.
This is a good website, that has a self-quiz in it.
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis/p20-et01.html
nick
Tell her that you love her. Tell her that you are there for her in any form that is required. Tell her that your concerns are based on the fact that she is your daughter. And, while you respect her privacy and that you acknowledge that she is an adult, you will always hold a special place in your heart for her for the magic she brought to your life from the day she was born through today.
In the end you can only stand there and show her you care while being as supportive as you can. She needs to know that she can trust you. She needs to know that you are not going to treat her as a child.
Good luck to you and your family.
You have our prayers as well. Do you have a family physician? If so, his/her office might be of some help in finding someone to help your daughter.
You can stop paying (if you are paying), but there's always student loans and other means to pick up the slack.
1. There is no way you should let her go back to college if she keeps getting worse.
2. Go to a doctor with her or at least speak to one about her. If she is really getting that bad she may need to spend time in a hospital before it's too late. The head of my school recently lost a daughter to anorexia and I really feel it's never too early to confront someone about that.
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