Married, without children: Finding fulfillment with no kids

Rocky Mountain News ^ | 1/3/05 | Mark Wolf

[Slyfox]

My mom and dad are in their early 70's. They live in Mesa AZ. They have numerous old lady friends. These ladies all have either no children or they have a nephew who lives in New Jersey. My mom refers to these ladies as my dad's girlfriends, kiddingly, of course, because when they call they want to talk to my dad because something is broke or Fifi needs to go for a walk.

Now don't get me wrong. My parents love helping them. They spend their day going to church in the morning, visiting their own grandchildren and taking care of little old ladies.

I am making no judgement in this matter. I am just stating an observation.

[Bella_Bru]

I myself do want kids, someday. And that is when I am done with my education and I have enough money to not consider Ramen to be one of the major food groups.

I can also understand people who do not want them though as I want to rip my hair out everytime I hear screaming kids at restaurants, movie theatres, malls, etc.

I thought they came with muzzles and gags.....

[Modernman]

I will say that a society that gives equal "status" (recognition - searching for the word) to non precreators as to mothers and fathers is exhibiting a tendency toward self destruction.

What do you mean by "equal status?" If anything, couples with children get a whole bunch of benefits from society (such as tax breaks). Childless couples still pay taxes that go towards schools.

Generally speaking, our society and government treat people with children much better than any other group.

[EternalVigilance]

By the way, given the right circumstances, I'd have more kids, too; even at my advanced age. ;-)

[DarkSavant]

According to the standards of the Catholic Church, it wouldn't be a natural marriage because they intentionally not having children. People who are infertile are an exception.

You have a source or reference for that? I believe you, but I don't remember ever reading that in the Catechism.

[HairOfTheDog]

The normal state of couples is parenthood, and the reasons for not being parents have nothing to do with global warming or not having enough time for yourself. Those are stupid, selfish reasons and if that is all they can come up with they need to grow up.

I actually agree with your first sentence but not your second. We shouldn't be in any position to feel the NEED to scorn either the child-rearing life or the childless life. Neither side should need a support group or a political action committee, we should just let people be.

[frgoff]

---
Do you think everyone should have children, regardless of their ability to raise them?

Knowing ahead of time that you are unsuitable as a parent is not being selfish. It's being enlightened.
---

You make it sound like the ability to raise children is genetically hard-wired. Is that what you believe?

Any person who thinks they are a suitable parent is definitely not. Any person who realizes they will probably be inadequate but will do their best in love is suitable.

[Hemingway's Ghost]

What is moral is what you feel good after. - Ernest Hemingway

My man . . .

[EternalVigilance]

I thought they came with muzzles and gags.....

I always found that a private chat outside with Dad solved the problem. ;-)

[EternalVigilance]

Ramen isn't one of the food groups?

Dang...

[Raycpa]

How birthrates color the electoral map


http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1294248/posts

[cyborg]

I don't have a copy of the catechism in front of me, but using birth control methods are a sin because you're going against 'be fruitful and multiply'. I don't know. That's how it used to be. Doesn't mean people listen though.

[Nataku X]

Sure... we could lobby for child-free sections in restaurants. :-)

[Bella_Bru]

All I know is that my parents were the type to leave the grocery cart/shopping things/end dinner/whatever and leave if me or my sister acted up. Then it was 'oh shit' time. Needless to say, that didn't happen too often.

[Modernman]

I've always liked Hemingway because he could say in a sentence what it would take any other author several chapters to get to.

[Hildy]

Believe me, people without children will not need your daughter's money.

[FreedomHasACost]

I too am one of ten, only I am the second.
Oldest is 22, youngest is 3. My folks didn't/don't seem to have any problem with taking care of us.
Sure sometimes it takes time from other things and costs money but they do not regret having us all.
And I'll tell you, we had a ball!

[hispanarepublicana]

If you are an empty nester then you are not too far away from all your friends talking about nothing but who just died, their most recent bowel surgeries and golf scores.

Well, true, except for those of us who are FReepers and talk about things like, "Did you read that post about the guy who got hit by a car while chasing a half-full can of beer across the highway?"

[Nataku X]

Mom and Dad did the same thing to me. Mom carried around her big wooden spoon in her purse and pulled it out if we even thought about acting up. Sure got us quiet in a hurry. LOL

Nowadays running all over the place knocking over waiters and food displays is perfectly permitted... as is screaming.

[Hildy]

et I've never met anyone who wanted to give his child back.

You really think anyone would admit if they did?