Posted on 01/03/2005 8:31:56 AM PST by qam1
Oh yes those are my sentiments exactly.
I own my condo and am treated slightly pittingly by the other condo members who are all married and either have kids or are planning ot have them very soon.
I absolutely want and am looking forward to settling down to a traditional lifestyle, I just got a later start on things (taking care of a very ill mother for years) and I dont want to get married to just anyone.
Much better to really adore the guy I am with and be able to emotionally and mentally give my future kid sthe best me possible.
Id love to tell this to the semi strangers who treat me like a spinster (Im not even 30 yet!)
Argh.
We've been married over 10 years and have always wanted kids. We were in an adoption situation that went bad after over a year of having the child in our home. Having been on both sides of the fence, we know we really want kids. It's an adjustment but also a source of constant entertainment and unconditional love.
The brilliance is elsewhere.
Rats... I missed it ;~D
I blame that on my kids - they are a bad influence.
The West is doomed if we don't breed more.
Great! I've got that saved :-).
My mom used to always say that having children is like taking vacations. If you wait until you can afford them you'll never have them......................
My mother said,"I hope you have 10 exactly like you". That's all it took; married for 37 years and no children.
DH and I nearly split up over this as well. We're 12 years apart (me younger) and when we first got together (I was 28) he wanted them and I wasn't ready yet. Then there was 10 years of dealing with his newfound substance abuse problem (long LONG story), then when I finally got him cleaned up and wanted kids he didn't anymore. With him at age 50 I can't say I could blame him.
The "selfish" label makes me want to throw up. I intentionally didn't bring any into a marriage that was in real rough shape, with one partner who was baked out of his mind 90% of the time, on the brink of divorce for 10 years, and I'M SELFISH? Bollocks. I did a kid a big favor by not dragging them into that situation.
I've (mostly) made peace with the situation - sometimes in life you get the present, sometimes you get the box, but the continued chastisement from the "you're selfish" crowd can be painful beyond belief.
LQ
At what point is anyone in America without hope???????
Congratulations! Me too.
Well, they also don't live very long, their current fad being to strap bombs on themselves for questionable gain.
Certainly the reason to have children is not so that we can throw them into the fray against the Muslim population. I'd rather solve the trouble with terrorist Muslims in ~our~ time.
I appreciate your post, especially where you acknowledge God's decision. I trust if and when it is time for you to have children, that the Lord will prepare your heart to desire it.
Oh yeah it's dumb alright. My favorite part is at the end when she says she wants a celebration like a baby shower, but for NOT having kids.
My husband and I are like you and your fiance, we are both 29 and have been married for 4 1/2 years. Mr. RK and I have always been on the fence about having kids, but now are leaning towards maybe yes instead of maybe no, but just not right now. For some reason all the women in my family who have been having babies lately have all been older then traditional mothers (34-36), so we don't feel rushed. If God sees fit to bless us with a baby we will not question it.
New Year's Resolution: Do NOT read any FreeRepublic threads about awful public schools/teachers/childless couples...I always walk away feeling dirty!
That's an astute observation. Sadly, it really does seem to come down to that, for some of the married-with-children folks. Kind of ironic...
What exactly is "selfish" about not having kids?
I want specifics.
If my husband and I spend a lot of time discussing the matter and decide that we are not cut out to be parents, how is that "selfish"?
If I decide that my desire to have kids is not strong enough to take the chance of having physical problems in pregnancy or delivery, or of having post-partum depression, how on earth is that "selfish"?
If we pray for God's guidance, and he makes it clear to us that we are not called to be parents, how is that "selfish"?
If we have more money to give away to needy people, how is that "selfish"?
If we have personalities that predispose us to being most mentally healthy and happy with a quiet household, and to being happy and satisfied with just the two of us, how is that "selfish"?
Someone please give a rational, intellectual explanation for this "selfish" thing.
I am so sorry to hear about the adoption situation. That must have been heart-breaking. I do pray that the Lord will use the time you spent with that precious child. And I pray that He will give you the desires of your heart. God bless you.
Good! These people sound like self-centered liberals who voted for JF'nK. They can join the pro-abortion group and the homo/les group and within 30 years the Democrat Party will be practically extinct. Just don't come to my kids or grandkids for help when you get old, you biological duds.
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