The Black Helicopters found him.
Posted on 01/12/2005 11:23:57 AM PST by gubamyster
Yep..you're safe.
Shrinkage, Joe! Shrinkage!
The Black Helicopters found him.
Every one would get me banned.
Oh, wait - got one:
"That's funny. He didn't look Jewish."
Yep... Imagine the resources that they devoted to this. Wouldn't it have been easier for the witness to catch a license plate number, or use the store surveillance camera tape to identify the perp?
They'll need an identification expert:
Imagine the resources that they devoted to this
Yeah, a phone call to dispatch asking where the truck is was real expensive.
"Think they'll call the victim in for a line up?"
"That penis had a mole on it....I'd recognize that penis anywhere...."
"A lineup....of several boys in the nude....so you can examine their....tallywhackers....can we please call it a tallywhacker, penis is so per-per-personal...for an incriminating MOLE??"
Do you reckon the cold was the cause or maybe his expectation of seeing someone more attractive was too high and shrinkage occurred immediately!
I remember during WW2 1945 in the South Pacific I was on a hospital ship as a patient and every morning there was a particularly nice looking and friendly Navy Nurse who took care of all the erections in the ward she was assigned to by using a long #2 soft lead pencil and thumped every errant part standing at attention and crisply said "at ease sailor"!
Embarrassing to say the least but it was very effective for reducing the "tension" that the Navy's "salt peter"(?)meal additive seemingly had little or no effect upon!
Gotta wonder what made him want to show off his inadequacies. Of course, to be stupid enough to jump into a truck you KNOW has GPS in it says alot.
You need GPS to track down a flasher who uses a snow plow as a getaway car.
What, does the guy have to wear a clown suit and set himself on fire in church?
Maybe they can bring in one of those police sketch artists.
Yikes!
"It's a small thing to track."
Your Honor, my client didn't realize that this nice Dunkin' Donuts employee was present at the scene. You see, during the long night shifts of plowing snow for the fine folks of this city, my client, a wonderful citizen of our town, found himself in a place where there was no unlocked bathroom in sight though he had to urgently perform the natural act of relieving himself. He hopped out of his truck and proceeded to relieve himself thinking he was out of the view of any people who could have been in the area. After holding it for so long, he had a lot of extra urine saved up so he began writing his name in the snow. Unfortunately, as he got to the end of 'Jason' and started on the 'W', he had to hop for the 'space' and swing his hips out and back andd forth to make the large sweeping lines to form the letter 'W' (in cursive by the way) and my client readily admits that this must have looked silly to any one passing by attempting to get a glimpse of my client's private parts... and I, myself, could see how this action could have mistakingly been perceived as attempting to "expose" himself to the alleged victim, but it was quite cold that night, not the kind of night when any sane pervert would be out exposing himself. My perv.. uh, I mean, client... would ask that the court dismiss all charges....
I have no idea. Anyone want to volunteer for the experiment?
A snowplow flasher? Sounds pretty chilly to me.
Is that an eclair, or are you just happy to see me?
Perhaps your detailed & elaborate description came about as a result of past personal experience?
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